During nine hectic months, Aiden Smith fully learned the meaning of support. Your partner now needs your backing more than ever so give pregnancy more commitment than a nail-biting football season
Posted: 11 November 2011
The Italians say that there are two things you cannot change: your family and your football team. Naturally, the latter is set in stone – but once your partner breaks that pregnancy bombshell, you’ll be offering the kind of unwavering support that you’ve previously shown only to 11 sweaty, shorts-clad men with experimental hairstyles racing around a football pitch.
And be warned: those nine months of pregnancy could be like the most difficult football season ever. But somehow, come the end of those 40 weeks, you will feel like you’ve have won the League, the Cup and the Champions League in one fell swoop. And, seeing your partner holding your bundle of joy for the first time, you’ll realise that – just like your football team – the most important thing that you’ve given them is your inexhaustible support.
Support is also a great way to ease your way into the pregnancy experience. Many a dad-to-be feels isolated during the pregnancy, but there’s no reason for you to be one of them. Dive in. Be supportive. And don’t wait to be asked, either.
Verbal support is the easiest way to start. Give it – and give it often. If you are unsure about the pregnancy itself (and don’t worry, this is a common occurrence) try not to transmit your fears to your already spooked partner. Your friends, other dads-to-be and dad blogs are there for expressing those doubts – not your partner. Giving your partner as much verbal support as possible is also good practise for things to come. After all, a short while there will be a third person in your home who needs some unconditional reassurance – for the better part of the next 20 years.
Your partner may go through a period of loathing the changes in her body. Sound like a potential minefield for the man of the house? It doesn’t have to be: the rules here remain the same as for non-pregnancy. Just to recap, the answer to, “Does my bum look big in this?” is always, “No”. Always. Mind you, there isn’t a more beautiful woman than your pregnant partner, so telling her that she has never looked more beautiful will be a walk in the park. Make sure you tell her often. Tell her now. She’s not there?
Phone her. Text her. Just do it. Just don’t tell your mates. Important support also comes in the form what you don’t do, particularly in the most commonly talked about field: alcohol consumption. Reports vary on the safe amount of alcohol in pregnancy but we went for a zero tolerance approach. This may initially strike terror into many a man’s heart, but show your support where it’s needed most. You’ll also save a fortune – great news with another family member just over the horizon.
The old cliché tells us that behind every great man there’s a great woman. It’s probably true – but it’s equally true that behind every great mum, there’s a probably an unequivocally supportive dad.
