15 real-life parenting confessions

Wormy scratching, a bit of a boob, farts, stains and a licked biscuit - real parents reveal their most embarrassing moments

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  • The perfect hang-out

    “Once I completely forgot to put my breast away after I had fed my 7 month old baby, I then went to open the door to let someone in and preceded to chat to them.

    "I was totally unaware until I put my baby back in his crib. I don’t know who felt more embarrassed, them or me, as it wasn’t mentioned.”

  • Eyebrows like daddy’s… but not on his face

    “We were changing in a family cubicle at a pool on holiday when my son shouted, 'Why hasn't my willy got eyebrows like daddy’s?'

    It had clearly echoed around the pool as when we came out everyone was laughing!”

  • When one just isn’t enough

    “I once had to desperately scour the streets at 10pm for an open shop that could sell me half a dozen dummies.

    "I could only find one in the house – and had two small children quarrelling over it!”

  • The wrong place to scratch

    “My 2-year-old son was fidgeting in Sainsbury’s cafe and I told him to stop. He shouted in return 'I'm itching my itchy bum!'

    I was so embarrassed! The people around us must of thought he had worms!”

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  • “It wasn’t me, honest…”

    “I missed the postman delivery, so I had to go to the main post office to collect my package with my young son. It was the end of the day and there was a long queue. I was carrying him while waiting in line and he suddenly started farting loudly. His face had no movement so it looked like it was me. So embarrassing!”

  • How far would you go to catch the match?

    "My husband and I move the hands on the clock to get our little ones to go to bed earlier, especially if there’s an important England match.”

  • Doh!

    "My wife had gone on a girly break and left me with the shopping list, which said 'hoops' on it. I sought out the tinned spaghetti hoops aisle, and was very pleased with myself when I found that they were on offer, so I stocked up, buying about 10 cans and I proudly stacked them away in the cupboard. When my wife came back she demanded to know why I had so many of something the kids don't even like. It turned out that 'hoops' meant hula-hoop crisps. Whoops!"

  • No way to speak to a priest

    “I took my two-year-old daughter up to have a blessing during communion at a church service. As the Reverend lay his hand on her head, she looked up at him and said, 'Hiya darling!' and blew him a kiss. I went as red as the communion wine!”

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  • Putting your foot in it

    “When my daughter was a baby, she once did a poo near our garden door in the utility room – and I confess I didn’t notice because I was busy was emptying the tumble dryer. My hubby came in from the garden, and unfortunately slipped over on it!”

  • Don’t upset the mother-in-law

    “We borrowed my mother-in-law’s treasured car for a day and I was sitting in the back with my 2-year-old daughter but didn’t see soon enough that she’d scribbled all over the cream leather seat in biro! After baby wipes failed to shift it, my husband and I had to abandon our day trip and spend nearly two hours scrubbing it with leather upholstery spray. There were still traces of biro left and we haven’t ’fessed up yet!”

    Pic: Jon Le-Bon / Shutterstock.com
  • Just plain forgetting

    “Having only just had my second child I wasn't yet quite used to remembering to check the whereabouts of two children rather than just one. I popped into a shop to get something with my eldest and had to leave the buggy outside, totally forgetting my baby was still outside. I wandered round the shop looking at things with my eldest, until a man came in and asked the shop owners whether they knew who the baby in the buggy outside belonged to!”

  • When cakes go bad

    “When it was our twins’ 3rd birthday, we were half way through handing round their birthday cake to everyone when we saw it had gone mouldy! Oops!”

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  • Some things are best left buried

    “On a family day at the beach I thought it’d be fun to bury my daughter’s favourite doll in the sand. Thing is, I forgot where we buried it and we spent two hours digging up the beach looking for it. When we did find it she was so sandy I had to wash her in the sea, and one of her eyes fell out.”

  • The classic DIY haircut moment

    “I tried to cut my daughter’s fringe with our blunt kitchen scissors. Trying to get it straight, I ended up going shorter, and shorter. My wife was none too impressed when she got home!”

  • Licking mother-in-law’s biscuit

    “I had my husband’s family over for a party and had baked some shortbread. As I plated it up in the kitchen, I licked the sugar off the smallest one, intending to give it to my 20-month-old daughter, but as I carried them out my mother-in-law took that very biscuit and ate it. I admitted nothing.”

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