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Advice please.....

Chat < Babies < Baby

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  • pollyrosielizzy
    pollyrosielizzy

    17/05/2008 at 19:00

    PM
    Hi folks, hoping you can help bear with me, it long! My first baby joshua was born on 28th Feb. it was a pretty traumatic birth, i was induced due to my bp being 180/120, it was back to back contractions, then he got distressed, was being prepped for theatre when the consultant decided he was coming out by ventouse (no local anasthetic or episiotomy). i had a 2nd degree tear and lost 800mls blood. joshua was dark blue/purple when he was born due to the cord being wrapped 3 times VERY tightly round his neck so he was taken away for about 1/2 hour - this was ok cos i knew he needed help.
    i tried bf as soonas i got him back, but he wasn't having any of it, mw said to try later, as many newborns didnt immediatly latch on (i knew that so wasnt bothered)
    when i went to the postnatal ward, i couldnt get joshua to latch on and he wouldnt stop screaming. when i buzzed for help, 15 mins later auxiliary came. i explained problem (this was approx 6hrs after giveing birth) and she grabbed my boob and joshuas head and shoved them together - obviously ths made him cry even more, but he sort of latched on. within 5 mins, he had let go and was howling again, so i buzzed again. this time a mw came and seemed really dismissive and hacked off because i was struggling her words were "are you trying to feed AGAIN?" i ended up ff cos i got virtually no help from staff, auxiliarys didnt seem to have the right training to help with bf struggles. the ward sister made me ad hubby watch 20 year old tape about ff which was very patronising - i mean me and hubby re both uni grads and i have worked as a nursery nurse in a baby room so am fully aware of ff practices. the same sister was also very supercilious towards us tellin pediatrician "oh they are ff" her tone made it out to be that i didnt want to bf - which is not true.
    i am very angry about the lack of support and help i received from the staff - i found out from my HV that there is a bf counsellor at the hosp every day 8-5, but no-one told me when i was in! joshua is doing fine on sma gold, but i really wanted to bf and it was constantly pushed on me that it was best for baby right from my booking in appt! i want to make a complaint about this but am not sure how to go about it. i was also told that expressing would be a waste of time!! i have never been a mum before so i trusted these people.
    can anyone tell me how to go about complaining (especially since joshua is now 11.5 weeks old)?
    thanks for reading this novel
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  • mummaJ
    mummaJ

    18/05/2008 at 00:58

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    Am so sorry for the way you feel you were treated. Quite often this is due to lack of staff but just a few encouraging words to a breast feeding mum can go a long way! I would think that every hospital has it's own complaints procedure and at my 'local' (sounds like a pub, lol!!!) it is to go through PALS (Patient Advice and Liason Service) but if you're not sure I would address the head of midwifery at the hospital in question as she is obliged to investigate your complaint. Unfortunately you have been let down and there is nothing that can now be done about that but if the maternity unit is aware of your problems, and if staffing issues did have anything to do with it, your complaint will hopefully benefit others in the future. Good luck x
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  • Morighan
    Morighan

    18/05/2008 at 03:19

    PM
    I know the feeling of not being able to bf. Morgana was born 8 weeks early by emergency section as my organs started to close down due to HELPP syndrome and I didn't get to hold or see her until three days after she was born as I was in intensive care. I tried to express milk for her (she was too little to feed herself) and never managed more than 5-10ml after 40 minutes of trying. I was promised to see a bf advisor at the hospital, but this never happened and I felt so guilty not being able to do anything for my baby.
    For complaints, as mummaJ said, try contacting PALS. If this is fails or is not operating at your hospital, contact the maternity department, they have to give you information on their complaints procedure (they are obliged to by their policy), most of them will give you a complaints form (they do in the hospital I work).
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  • alioli123
    alioli123

    18/05/2008 at 03:29

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    Sorry can't help but how behind are the staff in that hosp?!? Surely with all the extra advertising/hype about bf, they'd know how to help. Perhaps if the gov spent less on bloody bf posters, there'd be more money to train more ppl in helping getting bf established....
    I too had probs with ds1 and hated having his head shoved into my boob - that was 5 yr ago, thought things might have changed slightly. When you have 2nd and 3rd they don't come near you lol.
    Hope you sort it out x
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  • pollyrosielizzy
    pollyrosielizzy

    18/05/2008 at 18:15

    PM
    thats what peed me off alioli - they push bf so hard and had the nerve to be disapproving when i gave in and used formula just so josh was getting something. i will def try what you've all suggested as i wouldn't want someone else to have to try and deal with the complete lack of support.
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  • westbrom1
    westbrom1

    19/05/2008 at 03:23

    PM
    So sorry to hear about your bad experience babe. Itoo had a bad experience resulting in a emergency c section. I wont go into details but the theatre staff were amazing but the midwives were sounderstaffed that the post care was shocking. I was booked infor induction and was frightened and confued little was explained . But after c section was really imobileand i was stuck in a side room with a buzzer which i toofelt as though i was being an inconvenience, when i was asking for help picking up my baby.I personally chose not to breast feed and was shocked at how the staff did not encourage me to do so. I had heard from friends that they would give me a hard time about this as of course breast is certainly best. The after care was so bad that i was desperate to get home. i dont think it helps being shut ina room on your own and i never met any other new mums. i got told off for walking downcorridor with my baby instead of pushing her in crib which pissed me off as no one had explained this to me. When i got home after 5 days my midwife came out to see me i explained what happenendand sheencouraged me to make a complaint, this is something i didnot want to do. I saw three subsequent midwives and hvs since and they all encouraged me to make a complaint saying the nhs learn from these mistakes. For me i just wanted to forget about it but they warned me this could affect me in few months in way of pnd.Daisy is 13 weeks now and i am fine but i would encourage you to speak to your hv about ways of complaining. My oh is adamant that next time we have a baby we will be remorgaging house and paying the ??6000 to have our baby privately. That might sound really stupid but the treatment we received really affected us both and if it were just about me it wouldnt matter but when it is affecting a newbornbaby it does. Good luckx
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