Hiya all

Dont get me wrong here i love my Lewis to bits and would never be without him now, i love spending time with him and doing the mummy things that i am supposed to do!

BUT - am i bad for enjoying going to work and being quite happy to leave him while i go out for the day etc - i havent been out for a night out yet and he is 9 month so i havent had a drink in 18 month!

BUT - i went shoppping the other day and just loved it, i left him with his dad and didn't feel guilty one bit!

caurse your not a bad mam, far from it, we all need our me time if we didnt we would crack up, i went away to manchester for the night and left millie with my mam, yes i did miss her but it was so nice to get away and have sometime for me and the hubby, x

Not at all! We all need a bit of time away from our lo's but it certainly doesn't make us selfish or bad mummy's.
I have my lo pretty much from the moment we get up till he goes to bed at 7.30pm and every now and again I have a rant at my oh saying I just need some space of my own which usually results in him taking him off me for a couple of hours but this doesn't mean I don't want to be with my lo. It's just nice to have a bit of me time every now and again

dont be silly you are not a bad mum. every mummy needs time out every now and then, we need time to ourselves and fun otherwise im pretty sure we would all go nuts. i always miss tegan when im not with her and im constantly txtin my mum or oh making sure she is ok and has been fed etc, but its good to have time apart from each other xx

Not at all, Lewis will benefit from a happy mummy. x

I agree with everyone else - and it sounds like you're a brill mum. Not having a night out is mega dedication for you!
I love my 3 kids to bits but also enjoy the very odd occasion they are looked after so me and hubby can spend time together - which is 90% of the time spent doing something for the kids ie xmas shopping! I think it's important for you to have a night out together too - the kids are in bed and as long as you have a good sitter (we only use my parents or mil) then you can relax and enjoy. Don't feel guilty about work either - I enjoy being a mum and a teacher.

I've been going out on my own to the shops most saturdays or sundays for at least an hour since lo was a week old. His dad is capable of looking after him, I am not the only one who can deal with shitty nappies or bottle feeds & imo, because of this my lo is more secure with oh & oh is more confident in dealing with lo when he is upset or ill, regardless of whether I am there or not.

IMO a lot of women complain about how they get no time to themselves or that their oh doesn't do enough for the baby but we really can be our own worst enemy as a lot fo the time we don't even give them the chance due in part to this misguided sens eof guilt.

OK I know some oh's are really crap about doing baby stuff but most blokes I know would love the chance to spend alone time with their lo & know how to be a capable parent.

So no, you aren't a bad mum for liking work & going out alone. It will make you a better mum imo as you will be able to get some stresses release whilst away from your baby rather than losing it & shouting or stomping at home. Repeat after me; having a baby doesn't mean you stop being a person

No you are not a bad mum definitley not!

Joshua is 9 months as you know and I ive been out without him loads! If i need to go into town for a serious shop oh will have him for a few hrs. I go to the cinema with friends, go out in the evening for a drink and a good dance for friends birthdays or for a meal for a catch up with my friends etc. Most of this takes place when joshua is tucked up in bed at 7pm so IMO he doesnt even know im not there and if he does wake up oh is more than capable of looking after him.

Joshua and I have a fab time together we go to the park, for a walk, sing and play at home etc to me its not how much time you spend with your lo its the quality of time you spend with them. I agree with BeeBee -a couple of my mummy friends always moan they never have 5mins to themselves and yet their oh always go to the pub or to the football when they could be looking after the lo.

I dont feel bad for leaving joshua and never have...if anything ive always felt guilty for not feeling bad for leaving him. I think every mummy needs 5 mins to themselves you are still a person with needs and if you have a supportive and hands on oh take advantage of it xxx

hi i could have wrote this myself a couple month ago when i went back to work. everyone asked me on my first day am i ok? am i missing him and i felt awful saying - well actually no im happy to be back at work. i work full time and i do overtime also as we are trying to do the house up and pay for a holiday. i feel like i appreciate him more when i havent seen him for some of the day, and after 2 days off i am ready to go back to work for a bit of adult conversation and adult brain stimulation!!!!! i love my son more than anything and i think its important to have a balance so you dont forget you as a person rather than just being you the mummy! i dont go out often with freinds so when i do i really appreciate it!!! xx

You are definately not a bad mum. If what you do makes you happy then Lewis will benefit from having a happy mum

Hilary x