We have a close friends wedding to go to on Saturday, where the reception is being held at the couple's home (weather permitting in the garden)! Now, our LO will be 3weeks on Monday & was going to be looked after by my mum (who has been with us almost everyday, even if its just 20mins)! Unfortunately, she now has to have an operation so can't have Dylan. My MIL has said she will look after him, but i'm really against this idea - she has only seen Dylan once for a few hours, so he's not familiar with her; she has 2 younger daughters who i know will prob argue whose going to hold him etc etc! I'm not too keen on my MIL & have several doubts about her looking after him anyway (too long to go into), but especially at this stage.
Its a difficult situation, as my OH thinks having his mum look after him is basically the lesser of two evils...coz the wedding is in the home there'll be people smoking/drinking, very noisy & busy etc!
So, am i being unreasonable by wanting Dylan to be at the wedding with us? We're round MIL's on Sunday anyway, coz she's invited lots of family members round to meet Dylan!!
Sorry for the lengthy thread, but i'm really in two minds!!
Sarah xx
You're not being unreasonable at all, leaving your baby is always a hard thing to do. As you haven't stated the other more specific reasons for not wanting to leave your LO with your MIL it's difficult to comment on what is the best decision but try and look at it from your baby's point of view.
1) Will he/she be overraught at the wedding with noise/smoke etc even tho they will be with you?-maybe!
2) Will your LO be upset at being left with your MIL?-probably not in the grand sceme of things!
3) Will your LO be safe with your MIL?-only you know that, but i guess probably!
4) Will it be for that long?-a few hours may seem forever but it's not!
5) Will your babr remember it either way?-no!!!
Probably that's not helpful at all but whatever you decide i'm sure it'll be fine. Good luck and have fun X
Looking back to when my lo was that age, he would've preferred being left with a total stranger to going somewhere noisy with lots of people, regardless of mummy being there. No one is that familiar to them at that age, and if he's somewhere quiet he'll probably sleep most of the time anyway and not realise you're not there! But the wedding will probably scare him/stress him out.
I understand how you feel though - i found it hard to be parted from lo to start with, and didn't feel comfortable leaving him with anyone!!
Yes and no.
Argh, I know MIL... gross, annoying... I went/still go through MIL issues. (My 17 month old does NOT enjoy her company, she enjoys everyone elses, BUT hers)
Before I say anything else, I'm sorry to pipe my nose in your buisness, but I just want to warn you, I don't know why you have little issues with your MIL or if your lover feels the same, but in my experiance, a bad relationship with the MIL can often result in a bad relationship with the lover.
Anyway, I'm sure if your brought your baby people would have enough common sence not to smoke or get too crazy. But wouldn't you like a break from baby? Enjoy yourself, no interuptions...
You say your baby doesn't know MIL and you're not sure how he will react, well you have to give her a chance to get to know him, vice versa. I'm almost positive if you tell her straight up everything you will like to happen and what you don't, she will obey. And mention the little kids and holding the baby issue. She's a mom too, she's raised her son, she's been down the same road you are going down I'm sure she has enough common sence, and if she lets the kids hold the baby, what's it matter if she's there, making sure they're hands are clean, they don't fight, or drop/harm the baby??
You need a few hours away with your love.
I say leave baby with MIL and enjoy your time out.
You should be happy she offers to babysit, lots of people aren't so lucky..
Good luck on making a decision darling!