hi there ladies,

just wondering if any of you can give me some advice,
i really want to breast feed my daughter when she is born, and my midwife is very supportive of this, the thing is, my mother in law has requested that she has the baby at hers 1 day a week to give me a break. when i said this to my midwife she said that this wouldnt be possible for at least 3 months if i want to establish a routine and a bond with the baby and i shouldnt express during this time. i tried to explain this to my mother in law, who was very hurt by this as she now thinks i dont trust her with the baby. i`m very confused as i dont want to upset my mother in law but at the same time i want to do whats right with my baby.

any advice would be gratefully recieved :\?

thanks

jo xxx

hi. your mil just will have to realise that it's best for you and baby for breastfeeding and i am sure she will in time. is it her first grandchild? a day is a long time for a baby so young to be away from his mum. it is almost impossible if breastfeeding. maybe your hubby could also try to explain to her about the benefits and about the expressing thing. it is also important for baby to be with you to establish feeding. don't be bullied in to anything you don't want to do. and believe me when your baby comes you won't want to let it out of your sight. i was even twitchy about hubby taking our kids out down town for an hour.
it will all even out in time and maybe when baby is born she will see that baby is better off with you.
take care.xxxx

3 months??? I think your mw is over exaggerating there! I could express enough for a feed after 3 weeks as believe me, you'll need a break every now and again! Also, my lo was fine with the teat and wasn't confused. If your lo feeds well and latches on properly you could try from when you feel comfortable. Are you prepared to let mil have lo once a`week? Perhaps start off at an hour or so while lo is young, then build up? You do feel very protective over your lo (i do even tho she's my 3rd!) and even tho i fully trust my mil she's not baby sat yet for lo (just my boys) and lo's 15 wk nearly and formula fed now!
You'll only know when your lo's here as to how well they'll feed and whether you'll want them away once a week. Mw shouldn't fill you with false info! Routines can be established a lot sooner too!

thanks for the advice,
i got a very scathing "well when i was feeding brad they said i could express straight away, but i suppose things may have changed since then" from MIL. bearing in mind my bf is 20 things probably have changed. this is her first grandchild and will be my second baby, but it doesnt make things any easier to deal with. MIL can throw a sulk that makes my 5 year old look like a saint lol

thanks

jo xx

Well I have been giving my lo expressed milk, formula and plain breastfeeding from 2 weeks old and he hasn't had any confusion...although I was told that you should wait 6 weeks before introducing expressed bottles to avoid confusion. 3months does if your Msound a little ott! My lo is now 3 months old and doing just fine on a mixture of feed types.

One day a week is a hell of a long time to leave your lo though - especially if you aren't happy with it. I haven't left my lo with anyone but my husband and don't plan on leaving him with anyone unless I absolutely have to - and then it will be my friend... I don't plan on letting my mother get her hands on him no matter how much she whinges. If you aren't comfortable leaving your lo, or you don't want to then don't... and especially as Pen says it is hard work to leave a lo w hen you are breast feeding.. personally I found expressing a pain in the backside and I've given up doing it now!

As for the 'well when I was doing such and such' - my mum keeps going on about how things were different when I was little and how she did this that and the other...it drives me insane!!! Things have changed since we all were little and people do things differently now! You have my sympathy if you get those comments!!

You don't have to agree to anything now - you won't know how your lo feeds till htey get here, and you won't know how you feel about leaving your lo - everyone is different - your MIL needs to be able to respect your wishes - you are the parent. Also, my way of thinking is that if you give in to someone throwing a strop once then they will expect their own way everytime.

thanks kia,

me and bf both agree that a full day is a bit long for lo to be away from either of us, so we are going to sit MIL down and explain this to her,hopeully coming from both of us, it wont seem like i`m trying to shut her out.we are gonna attempt to let her start with maybe an hour and build it up, but obviously lo`s needs are gonna come first.

thank you for the advice

jo xxx:\)