Hi ladies
Well I had my baby girl at 12:15am on Boxing day morning after a very long labour and came home from hospital a couple of nights ago.
At this precise minute I feel ok but I just feel so up and down. I was desperate to come home but as soon as I got here I felt scared and our home felt strange and so different. I love our little girl so much but it's just such a strange feeling. I have a dog who's been staying at my parents and came home today and he's used to being number 1. He's been ok so far but I can he's very confused and not entirely happy but hopefully he will be better soon.
I just seem to keep crying, 1 minute I'm fine and feel happy and the next I just feel so overwhelmed that my life has changed so much in such a quick space of time and I feel scared. Yesterday we had a bad day and Ashley spent several hours crying and we just couldn't settle her and I could her to feed (I'm breastfeeding) but in the end I rang up the ward and spoke to a midwife who told me to persist with the feeding. In the end I did and literally forced her on my boob and we had quite a good night. Today she has fed really often but so irregularly. We try not to pick her too much so she's used to laying down by herself but then obviously we don't want to leave her crying. I just feel all over the place at the moment and am trying to do what I think is best for her and me but just don't know if it is best!
I just need a bit of reassurance that things do get better and I will start to feel a bit more normal again soon. I'm desparate to go out for some normality but she feeds so randomly that I'm worried I'll struggle to find somewhere to breastfeed plus I'm too tired to bother to get dressed properly.
Sorry for my random ranting, I just needed to get it out a bit I think.
xx
Nicola + baby girl Ashley (3 days old)

Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl!

What you are feeling is totally normal, you have gone through a massive life changing event, a horrid labour, and your hormones are everywhere, add into that the sleep deprivation and the brand new job title ('mummy') and it would be amazing if you didn;t feel a bit out of sorts!

The first 3 weeks are the hardest - I know that sounds like a life time right now, but it will go in the blink of an eye, and once you have breastfeeding established things get sooooo much easier again!

You are doing an amazing job hun. Well done!
Nx

Hi Nicola

Rant away, that what we are all here for. I totally understand how you feel. I had Jack on the 12th Nov, came home on 15th & cried my eyes out because I was so overwhelmed. I feelt exactly the same as you about your life changing so quickly. Yes we have all been planning & preparing for our babys & its all exciting but I think its slightly different to how we think it will all be (if you know what I mean?) I went through a stage of feeling sad that my bump was away & cried all the time, I really miss Jack being in my tummy & feeling him move. I still have sad days about it but Im to busy with Jack now to worry about it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though, you will feel better soon. Your hormones are all over the place just now, remember its not even been a week yet. Let people help you when they offer & keep speaking to your hubby about how your feeling or if you cant speak to your midwife (then health visitor. Your not alone so rant away when your on here

Take care & remember it will get better

Stacey & Jack 6+5
xxx

Oh hun of course it gets better or people would never have more than one (thats what I have told myself for the past 12 weeks)

Firstly, dont worry about getting dressed.....do you have OH around? He can cook, clean, fed you etc....this first 2 weeks just concentrate on feeding, burping and changing the baby. It is tough but it gets better. At this age they cant be held too much...in fact it is calming for them to be close to you, your LO has been all snug inside you for 9 months hearing your HB etc and warmth.

It does get better I promise promise promise!!! The first few weeks will be a rolling blur. At 6 weeks it will get easier but then you will have relaspes when you feel like you have taken 3 steps back but then it will be something simple like going up a teat size at 8 weeks rather than 12 etc.

Have you tried expressing? Maybe OH can give LO a bottle to give you a break?

I too have a doggy who was number 1....he was a little confused (still is a bit) but they adapt and think in a few years they will be each others best friends....the dog will prob get fat from LO finding it hilarious throwing all his food at the dog haha.

You sound like you are having the 3 day blues....very normal...I remember crying and crying etc.

I also remember when LO came out thinking how ugly he was (cant believe I am actually admitting this) the 'rush of love' didnt come until a few days after. Now all the swelling has gone down I love his little face and he is such a handsome thing.........

everything you are feeling is normal....just concentrate on healing etc and getting through each day....IT WILL GET BETTER xxxx

p.s this is why we are all here......we have all been through what you are going through and just jump on some of the 'baby born in....' forums and you will see what fun they become but at the minute you are on the hardest journey of your life for the next few weeks but as with everything it does come to an end.

Good luck....you will be a great mummy.....how I know? because you are concerned enough to come on here and post about being worried xxxxx

Big cyber HUG xxx

Hi Nicola,

My DS is 6 weeks old on Thursday and the post you wrote could easily have been my own all those weeks ago. The way you feel today is EXACTLY how I felt when he was born - so what you are feeling even down to how you are concerned about the dog not being no. 1 is totally normal!!

All I can say is it does get better - and quickly - whilst 6 weeks might seem like a lifetime to wait now it will fly by and honestly things are wonderful now! I've had time to adjust to being a mummy and my DS has had time to adjust to being here - he has just started smiling which is the greatest feeling in the world to a 1st time mum

What I would say is take each day one at a time - the first 5 were horrific for us - then things picked up a bit, after day 7 things improved a bit again and after 3 weeks - well it was a totaly different (and better!) story! Take all the help offered to you - meals, cleaning the lot! Remember to look after yourself too - you have a long labour and birth to recover from - a happy and rested mummy makes a happy baby!

You will reach a point where you get dressed and go out again! and it will be sooner than you think - but for now rest, recover and enjoy your baby,

Gem and Finn - 5+5

xx

I can't add a lot to what the other ladies have said cos it's all so true! I know exactly what you mean about your home feeling different (I was in hospital a week) and that will wear off. The whole of your world has been tipped off it's axis, your brain is full of hormones whizzing round going mental...promise it will get better. My daughter's now 6 months and it's all incredible, I love her MADLY (but much like akaladyk said, it wasn't instant!!) but I found the first couple of months very tough, and the breastfeeding is so draining and difficult.

Hope you start to feel better really soon hon - but don't put pressure on yourself or expect to feel fab - your body has just done an AMAZING thing and needs time to recover, Congratulations! x

Hi Nicola - Congratulations on the birth of baby Ashley, and welcome to "Baby"!

Absolutely things will get better. As the other girls have said, what you're going through right now is completely normal, and it will pass.

If people want to help you - let them. Concentrate on your baby, and getting your feeding and routines established - it's amazing how things will just click into place.

If you need to rant that's what we're all here for - we've all been where you are now, and we now how overhwelming it can be,

Sending lots of hugs

Tracy and Matthew xxx

Hi Nicola - Congratulations on the birth of baby Ashley, and welcome to "Baby"!

Absolutely things will get better. As the other girls have said, what you're going through right now is completely normal, and it will pass.

If people want to help you - let them. Concentrate on your baby, and getting your feeding and routines established - it's amazing how things will just click into place.

If you need to rant that's what we're all here for - we've all been where you are now, and we now how overhwelming it can be,

Sending lots of hugs

Tracy and Matthew xxx

I can also echo all of the above...I would also add that cuddle Ashley as much as you want right now. Please do not worry too much about her getting too used to being picked up. It is such early days and you have both been through a traumatic and emotional time. You both have to get used to each other. Seeing as you are breastfeeding put your feet up on the sofa and just let her feed when ever she wants. There will be no pattern initially and that is totally normal. If you feel the need to go out maybe just go for a walk round the block and test out your new pram!!!

Before long you will be feeling like a pro and both you and Ashley will know each other inside out!!!

Firstly, congratulations!!!

Some great advice from everyone here, it does get better. I honestly only started to really enjoy my baby at about 8 weeks. The first few weeks go by in such a blur of feeding/ changing etc that there is little time to think never mnd anything else!

It's perfectly natural to be weepy, especially 3-7 days after birth when your milk comes in. My LO was in hospital with Jaundice from 2-5 days old and I sobbed all over anyone in my path.

Keep talking to your OH and definitely take up any offers of help.

I remember when my LO was a week old thinking I had made a huge mistake and that I would be a terrible mother.

She is now 16 weeks old and has spent the whole day cooing and laughing at me, I love her so much my heart could burst and I'm so lucky to be her mummy

Sorry for prattling on about myself but wanted to let you know it DEFINITELY gets better!!

Eat lots (keep your milk supply strong), rest as much as you can, sod the housework and if you need any advice come straight on here! It really is a great help to me.

In a few weeks you will be back telling us about Ashley's first smile

xxx

Hi Nicola

Congrats on your little girl and YES, it definitely gets easier. I was the exact same as you except I was bottle feeding but I just felt the need to cry ALL the time.

I can remember when Jack was first born and trying to get through the first few weeks was horrendous (he has colic, so it was a nightmare) and sitting crying myself to sleep and thinking I had made a big mistake and how much I wished I could go back.

He's now 12 weeks old and so much better and I think back to those first few weeks and can't believe the difference. Me and OH have even discussed having another baby in a few years time whereas a few month ago I wouldn't even have entertained the thought never mind spoke about it lol.

All I can say is keep talking to people about how you're feeling and don't bottle it all up. My mum and MIL also helped me out a lot and started taking Jack overnight one day a week, which kept me sane those first few months as due to his colic all he did was cry non-stop for hours on end. So don't ignore any help you're offered even if you do feel guilty (know I did) as you definitely need the break even if it's just one or two hours xx

Stacey - I'm another mum to a Jak, born on 12th Nov, came home on 15th! We have great taste in names, but ours is spelled in honour of my dad of the same name.

At 3 days I was a complete wreck (I'm still not great now, but I feel more in control) and I'll echo what everyone's said, it's completely normal. It will definitely get better. Even now, Jak's mobile music sets me off crying because I have a deep overwhelming fear that something bad will happen to him and everyone will miss him so so much and the music is so sweet and baby like that it just kills me inside (I'm now welling up again, what a daft girl I am!)

Definitely accept help, don't forget to look after you as well as Ashley and remember that you can do this, and you're a great mum. I'm now off to take some of my own advice!

Em + Jak x x x

Ah thank you so much everyone. It really does help to read what you're telling me.
I'm feeling quite a bit better today and the feeding seems to be getting a bit better (although my nipples are getting sorer - ouch!). I haven't cried yet so far today so that's quite an acheivement and I've even got sort of dressed (a bit random but dressed!) and put a little bit of make-up on as I thought that would help me feel a bit more normal again. When I feel down again I will come on here and read the replies again I think.
Thanks so much ladies
xx

glad you're feeling a bit better - mothercare do a nipple cream that soothes which you don't have to wipe off, I used that and it helped a bit, (only put it on the nipple itself so the whole aureola isn't to slippy for baby latching on.) x

Glad to hear you are feeling more positive - the breastfeeding does get easier too. I used Lansinoh Lanolin and it was FAB!
At about 10 weeks I couldn't even feel her feeding! I know that feels like a long time away but it will soon be here

xx