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Feel guilty about not having baby in a routine - help!

Chat < Babies < Baby

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  • xxAdamsMumxx
    xxAdamsMumxx

    25/02/2010 at 16:50

    PM
    Hi

    Baby Adam was born 12 days ago and we have just been muddling along and finding our feet - I have been demand feeding and pretty much just letting him sleep whenever he wants.

    However, I have just had a flick through the the Contented Little Baby book and now feel really bad that I have not managed to get a routine established.

    To be fair, I don't think I've really been in a fit state to contemplate a routine (a new baby is a shock to the system to say the least!) but the book has really paniced me that I'm doing everything wrong, and as a consequence my baby will never sleep through the night and I'll not have enough milk to sustain him during growth spurts (I am BF) :cry:

    So I guess I was just after some reassurance that I'm not damaging Adam by not getting him into a routine this early...

    A stressed Cath x

    xxx

    [Modified by: **Cath** on 26 February 2010 09:53:23 ]
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  • daisy_doodles
    daisy_doodles

    25/02/2010 at 16:52

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    Nooooooooooooooo! Put the book down and enjoy your baby boy!

    Read the other post further down here about not having baby in a routine..

    C xxx
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  • aerobubbles
    aerobubbles

    25/02/2010 at 16:58

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    Please don't think that you are damaging your baby, it really is hard enough looking after them as it is than to worry about if you are doing things the 'right' way.

    My lo is nearly 6 month old and we don't really have a 'set' routine that he follows, he will let us know when hes hungry and when hes tired, so if i were you i would just go with the flow.

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  • mummy2sweeties
    mummy2sweeties

    25/02/2010 at 16:59

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    hi hun I have to agree, enjoy your baby and dont worry about it, I have two kids and I always put to bed at same time but thats it hun x
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  • pbob
    pbob

    25/02/2010 at 17:00

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    Put that book down, better still, put it in the BIN! (Only joking, well im not joking really-that book stressed me out too but i don't want to offend anyone who swears by it!)

    Honestly, enjoy your baby, give him all the love, cuddles and feeds that he needs, 12 days old is WAY too early to even be thinking about a routine.

    My lo is breastfed and fell into a lovely routine, all by himself at 6 months.

    If you feel you'd like a little structure to your day, a great place to start is bedtime, a little bath, massage, a story but you'll get yourself into a total tizz if you try to get a 12 day old breastfed baby into a routine.

    Go with the flow xx
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  • MrsSH2B
    MrsSH2B

    25/02/2010 at 17:02

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    Cath, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job and please ignore all those books!!! I don't think there will be one lady on here that had their 12 day old baby in a routine. Just go with the flow, enjoy your baby and you will eventually notice he will fall into his own routine. My ds is now 7 months but I think it was a good 2 months before he fell into a particular routine of his own but this constantly changes along with growth spurts, teething, weaning, illness, etc. The only thing I am strict with is that 8pm is his bedtime because any later and he will wake up at stupid o clock.

    You are doing the right thing demand feeding as this will ensure you have enough milk to supply his needs. Please don't stress, you are doing amazingly, I'm sure! xx
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  • KirstyMacey
    KirstyMacey

    25/02/2010 at 17:03

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    babe, you are doing a fab job, isabelle is 15 days old and i just go with the flow partly because she has to cos of my 2 1/2 yr old and partly cos its easier for me! Generally she goes 4 hrs at night on some sort of routine but during the day its feeding her when she needs it. I wouldnt expect anybody to have a set routine at 2 weeks old you should be resting and enjoying your baby to worry about this. Maybe in a couple of weeks if you arnt already try to get up at a time each morning and go out even if its shopping, round the block for a walk or something but there is certainly no rush.

    I find that my first fell into her own routine and went with it. I only started putting my foot down with her when she knew she was doing and could control herself if you see what i mean.

    Go with whatever is best for you and adam and not what a baby book is telling you hun xx
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  • TheHistoryGirl1
    TheHistoryGirl1

    25/02/2010 at 17:15

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    Totally, totally agree with everything said here, particularly p.bob's post (we started a bedtime routine at 8 weeks to give me some sort of focus but didn't get into a daytime routine until damn near 8 months, and then it was Peter's routine, not mine.)

    As for not having enough milk, feeding on demand is the best way to ensure supply as it takes into account the extra feeds they have during growth spurts which will help increase supply just when your baby needs it most. Following Adam's lead is the best thing you can do for both him and you, so just relax and enjoy him.
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  • maxnjacksmummy
    maxnjacksmummy

    25/02/2010 at 17:38

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    oh my goodness step AWAY from the book! your baby is TINY still and you are not damaging him in the slightest!!! Enjoy him and relax!

    Totally agree with all that has been said!
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  • sarah_jane77
    sarah_jane77

    25/02/2010 at 17:38

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    Hi

    I'm with the others, Tyler is 12 weeks and has no real routine, we bottle fed on demand. During the day he put himself into a routine with no help from me, this week I have started bathing him and trying to get him to sleep at the same time, but with his wind and reflux issues no two nights are the same so we just go with the flow. As a result I have a very happy baby, although I stress when everyone else's baby is in a routine have just decided that this is what works best for us. You will find as the days go by that you may notice your little one wanting to nap at the same time everyday, thats the first thing i noticed, i now feed him every 3 hours and he naps around that.

    Enjoy your baby..
    sarah+tyler(12 weeks)
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  • xxAdamsMumxx
    xxAdamsMumxx

    25/02/2010 at 17:50

    PM
    Thank you everyone!

    I have put the book back on the shelf, hidden behind lots of other ones so I am not tempted to look at it again.

    Being a new mum is so difficult as there is so much advice about what to do or not to do, it's tricky to know what to take on board and what to ignore.

    I'm glad that a strict routine is not the only way to get a contented baby!

    xx
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  • Sunflower81
    Sunflower81

    25/02/2010 at 17:59

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    Goodness no, the first few weeks are about survival! And getting to know your lo. Leave that book on the shelf, for now at least, and enjoy your baby. You'll probably find that some sort of routine emerges on its own in time - and if you feel you or baby would benefit from one sooner than that there is no harm in introducing some sort of routine (eg bath, feed, bed or something) but there are much more flexible ones than Gina Ford to try - sorry to anyone who likes her but I've seen friends get themselves into such a state trying to force baby into a GF routine that really didn't suit them.

    I remember someone asking me when ds was 9 weeks if he was in a routine - I replied he knew the difference between day and night and I was happy with that at that stage - the person asking said that was a good thing too.
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