23/08/2012 at 13:32
23/08/2012 at 14:01
23/08/2012 at 22:27
hello, its so normal to feel how you do. you had a tough birth that would have been a struggle to get over physically and emotionally, compounded by the fact your whole life had turned upside down, sleep deprivation, hormones etc and on top of everything a poorly baby. dont be tough on yourself if every moment isnt idyllic. the reality is its exhuasting entertaining a baby at your lo's stage and (in all honesty) as much as you love them it can be frustrating and boring at times.
i had a long labour with a big baby in the wrong position and had a nasty assisted birth that gave my lo a neck injury and me feeling terrible. it took a few days for me to feel excited and stop feeling shattered, irritable and scared if im honest. I never doubted my love for my son but it was daunting setting out down a road with no return, endless feeds and nappy changes. once id got over the birth a little though i have to say i was lucky, for the first couple of months my lo was a good settled baby who fed well and slept a lot and i at least caught up on sleep in the time. then at about 9 weeks my lo suddenly decided he would stay awake all day (12 hours) he breast fed a lot in that time so i suppose might have been snoozing on me but never actually went down for a sleep. ok, he did sleep 12 hour nights which i know i was very lucky to have but in the day he began to need entertaining - only he couldnt sit up, wasnt interested in toys etc as was too young - found myself feeding him lots, using the play gym and bouncy chair endlessly and taking him on walks. he would grizzle a lot of the day as he was bored and i would feel fed up too.
what i can tell you is that none of this lasts! I went back to work when he was 8.5 months and like you i worried about that right from the off set - and how my mum would cope with him. it was all poinlless as by that point he was a different baby, crawling with teeth, eating food, playing for short periods on his own - unrecognisable from the tiny baby you have now. whatever routine she has now will not be anything like that which she will have later.
also, i hate to add to the advice of others but im inclined to agree that books cant dictate what all babies should do. they're individuals like us. your her mummy and its your decision what to do, but maybe use the books as a rough guide and then be further guided by her reaction. 45 minute sleeps are still sleeps and maybe she cries because she's had enough. sometimes you can just add more stress to yourself and then that goes through to your lo. a certain amount of you has to accept the here and now as i can promise it will all change a million times over over her first year.
23/08/2012 at 22:32
Right, first things first, deep breath! You are doing a fantastic job and by the sounds of it doing everything i did! I read and read and read everything so when my first popped out and didnt sleep when he should, and didnt get on with breastfeeding I was devastated and thought I was doing something wrong. After a couple of months, my hubby made me see sense and I realised that babies don't read books so behave as babies and each little bundle of joy is a little bit different. I had my second in January and we had such a horrible time of it, with him being born by EMCS 4 weeks early and spending 4 weeks in SCBU. That said I'm so much more relaxed this time as I've learnt to go with his cues for feeds and naps.
Of course I still have days when I'm tired and cranky and everything seems too much but they are just bad days and tomorrow's a new day. Try not to worry about what the books or other people say you should be doing, go by your own instincts, I didn't trust mine but actually once I started trusting myself things got much easier. No one knows your baby as well as you do.
My baby is now 7 months and some days will have lots of naps and other days hardly any. I also find that when were out and about he sleeps lots as in the car and buggy most of the time. But when were at home he'll just 'catnap' have odd ten minutes here and there, half the time I dont bother putting him in his cot.
The only times I really have routines are mealtimes and bed. We usually eat around the same times and bedtime is always the same, starting at 7 with my youngest, finsihing by 8 with my eldest. Other than the odd couple of tv programmes my eldest likes, and a bit of a quiet time after lunch we dont stick to a strict routine. Maybe stop following a strict routine for a couple of days and see what your baby does, you might find she slips into a natural routine anyway.
Finally babies change all the time, due to growth spurts, teething, change in eating habits and just getting older and managing with less sleep. So by the time you go back to work, she'll probably have changed all over again. But try and stay positive, I'm sure you're doing a fab job, you just need to believe in yourself, and oncve you relax, you'll probably find baby relaxes too!
23/08/2012 at 22:39
24/08/2012 at 21:57
Hi there, well you are certainly not alone in this. My LO is exactly the same age and it sounds as though we have similar issues. After years of trying to get pregnant I have my precious little bundle and must admit feel extremely guilty if I am not enjoying every second of motherhood, I'm sure most of us are the same. My little boy rarely sleeps in the daytime unless I take him out in the car where he falls asleep immediately and stays asleep as long as the car is moving. Also if we go out for a walk he will sleep in the buggy but if we are just at home the most he will get is the odd 10 minutes here and there, mostly at the end of a breastfeeding session (or during). He is also drooling continually and putting his fingers in his mouth so think you are right about the teething, although he doesnt seem to be in any discomfort with it. I just wanted to ask what the symptoms of reflux were and how you got your LO diagnosed as we have similar problems here and always just thought it was wind but it seems to be getting worse rather than better. New motherhood is definately tricky but I try to take each day at a time and keep telling myself that things change so quickly and that each problem either gets resolved of its own accord or we learn to live with it. Just be comforted to know that it is not plain sailing for many of us and you can tell that by reading through a lot of the posts on here. We are all just learning as we go along this steep learning curve and its nice to take advice from others who have been there.
Love A xxx
25/08/2012 at 00:13
25/08/2012 at 12:39
Don't be so hard on yourself, your doing a fantastic job & baby is still fairly young. Baby will be going through a number of growth spurts in their first few weeks where sleep/feed habits can go all over the place with them napping more often or wanting more food.
Try not to get cross or lose heart if baby doesn't always nap for the same length of time, some days they will have more energy & some days less, if you think LO is still tired try checking they haven't been disturbed for a reason (bottom is still clean, not too hot/cold) before trying to put them down again. Try using some background white noise to help LO off to sleep (hoover, hair dryer, washing machine, radio). If your mum is going to help look after LO once you return to work why not try spending some time together now in preparation, your mum will get to know LO, you can share ideas & help each other learn (if not your mum, ask a friend you don't have to be super mum coping alone we all need help sometimes). Best wishes.
25/08/2012 at 23:02
26/08/2012 at 07:42
happy birthday to thomas magpie! I remember your hard times at the start henry turned one last week x
27/08/2012 at 22:59
Hi I havent read everyones replies so sorry if I repeat whats said but just wanted to say that theres light at the end of the tunnel. My dd1 is 2 and had horrendous reflux from birth and we tried all types of medication and finally found 1 that helped plus dr brown bottles & comfort milk. We knew she was a happy baby but screamed so much coz of the pain of the reflux. So days weren't enjoyable with her Then when she started having solids she became a different baby and now at 2 is absolutely fine. I followed the baby whisperer & was obsessed with naps so much so that I could only go out during certain times so she could nap at home. At the time it was everything to me but looking back I see things in a different light. I wish I had enjoyed her more and had gone with the flow more. I have a 5 wk old dd and things are so different. I feed her at certain times and put her down for a nap (if Im in) after her feeds but other than bedtime I have no other routines. If she sleeps, she sleeps, if she doesnt its not the end of the world. As I know this time will zip by and theres no point stressing. My advice is enjoy every min and get out & enjoy ur lo!
28/08/2012 at 19:00
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