08/12/2009 at 15:26
08/12/2009 at 21:44
i didnt bond with my son until he gave me his first smile/giggle when he is about 4 months old. I think may be was the diffcult pregnancy, diffcult birth and he got reflux.
08/12/2009 at 22:18
with jack, he was jack from 21 weeks, i always felt close, i was fiercely protective of him because he was rushed off to scbu, and i still cant remember my first cuddle with him as i was out of it, but the love was so overwhelming and completely comsuming i didnt have to think about it. i am still very protective of him,hes such a loving child.
With lola we couldnt find out what her sex was despite many many scans, we had the easiest 'birth' she was a planned section and it all went perfectly she was alert and healthy and had a long breastfeed imeadiatly with no fuss, but something didnt click, i just went through the motions, she breastfed perfectly but she was a very needy baby and screamed constantly unless she was feeding or being rocked constantly, i used to be able to settle her if she was in nothing but a nappy and inside my clothes, it was a very bad time for me, eventually andrew went to a new job and we were alone at 4-5mnths she began to play and sat up, and i can remember watching her and jack one day and it just hit me like a ton of bricks, that was my family, my toddler and my baby and i loved her. Now she is THE happiest baby youd ever meet, nothing gets her down, she is wild and outgoing and i worship the ground she walks on, sometimes when it takes time, its oh so much better!
09/12/2009 at 09:40
Merlin was my first section after six normal births so I missed that being born straight into your arms because he was whisked off to the other side of the room,I couldn't see him.I missed that moment you suddenly stop being in pain and you have a warm little bundle to hold.He was wrapped up and put where I could see him but of course you have to wait for the surgeons to finish,then I got the shakes,and you can't move straight away,so it seemed a long time till I could actually hold him.When I told my midwife she didn't tell me I was silly(cos I probably was)She took all his clothes off except the nappy,and put him inside my hospital gown,where he spent the next day,feeding dozing,which was how we met properly.
10/12/2009 at 09:32
15/12/2009 at 22:07
I've had 3 sections and have never been able to hold my babies as soon as they were born, with Melissa this wasn't an option because she was taken straight to SCBU after a quick glimpse and I spent all night staring at a polaroid picture the midwife took for me, she was almost 2 days old before I got my first cuddle with her.
With Evie I was upset I had to have another section because I had an infection and was poorly but I felt like I bonded more closely with her, no-one else even held her very long for the first couple of months because I was over compensating with her because I couldn't physically look after Melissa who was 15mths old and only just walking.
With Imogen I have found it harder because I have PND but when she smiles at me my heart melts. She feels more precious to me because she is probably my last baby and I could have lost her when I had a placental abruption in labour. Luckily everything turned out fine and she is 13 wks now and starting to show more of her own personality.
All of mine have been completely different experiences but seeing them all in their daddy's arms when he thinks I can't see them is the best feeling ever!
15/12/2009 at 23:06
16/12/2009 at 07:30
yes helen - i read it all, even though my baby is crying in my arms. he wants another breastfeed, but he's not getting it. (feeding all night).
i hope alice takes some drinks and gets better and glad she doesn't have pneumonia.
16/12/2009 at 18:32
I hope your little girl is better soon Helen! xx
16/12/2009 at 19:26
Hi! I don't want to divert the thread from it's topic but just wanted to say Thanks. I felt like putting my own experience on the other night really helped me offload when I was feeling so scared about other things with Alice aswell. And Thanks for the concern for her. She's still quite unwell but she's still at home. We've spoken to the hospital today and and they've assured us that we're doing the same for her that they would and that they wouldn't be expecting to see a massive improvement for another couple of days anyway.So for the time being we're round the clock with water in feeding syringes and just praying our cheeky little munster will be picking up very soon. Thanks once again to whooever placed the original bonding post and apologies (didn't mean to hijack it) but I genuinely felt like it helped to write it all down on here.For any other parents whose little ones have these nasty winter viruses, Hang in there. It's so scary when they're tiny.2 years on and I think I've been flooded with every new mum feeling I ever worried about missing out on in these last 3 days. Strange how someone so small pulls you right round like that??? HelenXXX
16/12/2009 at 20:34
thanks for you long post it was such a reasuring read, i was the other way round my poorly one i bonded with and my 2nd baby, Lola, was healthy but so demanding it was unreal, it took me a very long time to want to be with her, very recent in fact, and im sure she only learnt to move to follow me, Now i look back i realise it was just that she had bonded with me, and loved me, and i hadnt caught her up, Now when she comes crawling super fast and wraps her chubby arms around my leg and sayes aaaah, im happy because i want her to love me like that and i never want to feel how i did, she is so special, i dont think anyone likes me as much as her, since shes arrived my son has become a daddys boy, i used to blame her but in reality ist his age, shed spend hours doing anything if i laughed, she is my crazy little angel, and although shes the hardest work ever, i adore her! And im greatfull every day for them both, i think that the hard times make the good oh so much sweeter!
thanks again, and my thoughts are with you, i wish alice a very very speedy recovery and all the best to all of you! xxxx
16/12/2009 at 21:07
Continues below ad
Nice to see you! Please do nose around, sign up and join in.