Ok I really would appreciate any opinions on this as I am getting desperate and its breaking my heart!
I decided mid afternoon to try and start a routine by giving LO a bath at 6pm then a feed and change then bed at 7pm like I have read many of you do on here. (Realised now feed first then bath! would be better for us!). I know every baby is different and I was not expecting miracles tonight as I have a few problems to overcome first.

LO has always been quite windy and is nearly always sick....after reading some posts on here I will go to the docs in the week and ask his advice, hopefully prescribe gaviscon as some of you have recommended. Also LO has been very used to sleeping on my chest at night...yes I know its dangerous, even if it is just me and him in the bed but I blame my community midwife who encouraged me to do it when I got home from hospital and now its a habit which im finding difficult to get out of, especially after his night feed when im tired as well.

So I am having problems settling him anyway...last night I swapped his moses basket for a swinging crib which I think he prefers and after settling him last night at 2.30am he slept in it no problem, until 5.30am for a feed.

So anyway tonight i bathed, changed and fed him then soothed him in my arms until he dropped off and put him in the crib and swung that for a bit ....i left the cbedroom at 7.30pm then about 15 mins later he woke....i managed to settle him after about an hour
He then woke again and couldnt settle him...my breasts were full and I thought he was hungry so fed him and winded him which took a while and he was again a little sick. OH then took over so I could eat my dinner...its now 10.40pm and OH is in there (after LO settling for a little bit) and OH is rocking him in his crib. he is crying for 10 mins then sleeping for 5 then crying, s;eeping etc.. hes now been crying for about 15 mins now and its breaking my heart. his feed is due soon but not quite yet...hes feeding every 2 hours but does comfort feed a lot and is used to getting his own way when he crys, 9 times out of ten he gets the nipple!!! god i feel a shit mum now!!!

right its 11pm now and i am now feeding him...in the bedroom wiith little light. i didnt think id feel quite so bad but found that difficultt. the thing is i have read so many different opinions that i cant remember what i thinks right or not if that makes sense?! the only way i stayed away was cause i started writing this,

what i need to know is what you would do and have you been there, done that, trying to get lo into a bedtime routine.,,,, if so and they cried for a long time how did you deal with it? did you soothe them and give them cuddles? as i said there is so much contradicting advice i know i need to do whats best but i think it would really help me for now if i could hear about other peoples experiences and how they coped? will it ever work???!!!

Hi Katherinex

How old is your LO? Mine is 7 weeks and 2 days and whilst we have had a bedtime routine for a couple of weeks now, it keeps changing - mainly because Violet seems to be getting stroppy and tired earlier on. I started bathing her at 7.30pm, then would play for a bit and give her a boob and a top up bottle at 8ish (she is a crap breastfeeder!) and she would happily go though until 2amish and then I would feed her and she would go back down. But then it stopped working and she was having a bath at 6.30pm and the same routine exactly bath, play, boob, bottle - but she stopped falling asleep during the bottle and I have been struggling to get her down now asleep. So have had to bit the bullet and put her down awake and keep going back in to see her. I have been working tonight (I write stuff) and I was up and down and then it got to about 9.50 and I thought sod it she is still crying so go and do an extra bottle for her and by the time I warmed it and got to the top of the stairs she was fast asleep.

I dont know how the rest of the night will pan out now, I will give her a dream feed in about 15 mins or so and fingers crossed she will go through until 5.30ish as I have to go to work tomorrow and she is coming too!

The only advice I can give is that you have to do what feels right for you and maybe you should concentrate on getting his wind sorted and him sleeping better at night as your short term goals rather than pressurising yourself into a bedtime routine.

What I have been doing is making sure that I do the same stuff every night in the same order, but the time may vary depending on how Violet is - so I sort of have a routine but not one that is time dependent.

It will sort itself out eventually - please dont feel you are a bad mummy, you are bf your little boy and that is a massively exhausting job and you are the best mummy in the world to him.

I hope he sleeps for a better amount of time for you tonight and I will let you know how Violet got on when I get back from work tomorrow.

C.x

I can sympathise with you! You might have read my post about not having my lo in a good routine and feeling like a shit mum! I am also still up with my lo who WONT GO TO SLEEP!! despite me starting bedtime routine at 7pm!! Shes wide awake!! how are you getting on now?

thanks for your replies, I feel so much better already, especially knowing I am not the only one still up feeling like Im getting NOWHERE!!!
He is 8 weeks on Wednesday and as we speak he has just started crying!!! Was in his crib seeming very content for about 10 mins which has been the longest so far so thats an improvement. Might have to go and get my OH to take over, otherwise I might pick him up I love breastfeeding but its so fustrating sometimes when you dont know how much they actually fed. Anyway thanks for your replies, let me know how Violet gets on. Hope your night is better than mine! Smithya85 are you still up lol??!! How old is she and what do you do when she cries?

I was quite lucky and established a bed time routine easily, its gone to pot over the Xmas season so I'm going to have to get my act together and start over again. I would sooth your LO when he's crying, rather than pick him up each time you can try stroking him gently and talking to him in soothing voice. If it doesn't work pick him up but as soon as he calms put him back down. Also where does he nap? It might help if you make sure he always sleeps in the same place so he learns that when he's in his room its time to sleep. Another thing I do at night which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't is I go from room to room turning all the lights off. Downstairs first and then up so that it's dark when I'm trying to settle her back down. I don't really know if she gets the message or not!

Once I had got Gaviston to help with reflux my little one got a lot better but if she's windy it can still be a struggle.

Good Luck

8 wks is still little. Dont be so hard on yourself katherine. I think you have to make your own routine and u do that by trial and error. Dont give up with d breastfeeding,just cause u carnt c how much hes getting. He will take exactly how much he needs. Yes they do feed alot more frequently with d breast as its more easily absorbed.
When Leah wouldnt settle i used to do elimination test. C if she wanted more milk,check nappy,cuddle,wind,etc. She used to suffer with colic always around 9pm,till almost 11pm. Hot water btl and infracol used to help.

H Katherine

Well last night wasn't too bad! I was writing till about 11.45 and made a bottle and took it up with me, first of all tried to breastfeed her and she kept her mouth firmly shut...then I tried a bottle and eventually she took about an oz!!! I put her down and she was soundly asleep by the time hubby came up which was around 12.20ish and she didn't wake me up properly until 6.30ish. But she was a bit sick in her sleep and then could hear phlegm in the back of her throat and she was making lots of grunting noises...so actually did disturb my sleep, but she didn't actually wake up! It was lovely this morning as she is so much happier when she has a block of 6 hours or so sleep and is all smiles.

She was really good in my meeting and slept, then was awake and was all smiles, then had a boob and went back to sleep!

Tonight we went for a bath at 7pm and then a boob and bottle at 7.30ish and I put her down whilst I was watching holby city (we have the telly on in the bedroom when I feed her and when she is asleep!). I have one of those bears with the womb sounds etc and have started to put it on to lullaby when I put her down and then I stay in the room on the bed (out of her sight) and just watch her for 2 cycles of the lullaby. Then I leave her and tonight I have only had to go back once and give her a dummy. She was crying a bit when I was washing up, but by the time I had finished and dried my hands she had stopped. I know I am really lucky, but I think she is better at sleeping when she has been out for the day - which would be lovely to do, but I work from home so getting out everyday isn't always going to happen!

I will try again with a boob and bottle later on, probably nearer 11.30 and see if she takes anything.

How was your night and how is it going tonight for you?

C.x

Hi - my lo is is 10 weeks now and has finally settled into a bed time routine over the last 2 weeks. I have perservered with the routine from day one and it has finally paid off. I have been told that that time of night is known as the "witching hour" and it's common for babies to not settle well which stresses out mums and das as we see it as bed time not play time. It was the most trying time of the day for me but sticking to it really paid off. I'm really crap at sticking to a routine the rest of the day but that is one of my new year resolutions!!

Hi - my lo is is 10 weeks now and has finally settled into a bed time routine over the last 2 weeks. I have perservered with the routine from day one and it has finally paid off. I have been told that that time of night is known as the "witching hour" and it's common for babies to not settle well which stresses out mums and das as we see it as bed time not play time. It was the most trying time of the day for me but sticking to it really paid off. I'm really crap at sticking to a routine the rest of the day but that is one of my new year resolutions!!