Can anybody help me please?

I am a bit of an emotional wreck in trying to get my 8 week old little girl to get herself off to sleep.

I have been trying to do controlled crying since last night without much luck. I know I haven't tried it for long enough, but that isn't the problem.

I have been letting her cry for a couple of minutes and then gone to her and sh sh'd her and stroked her face, but it doesn't calm her at all.

I have been searching the net to try and find out how long you should leave a baby to cry altogether and not just at intervals. My little bundle of joy can be screaming just as much after an hour as she was the first time I put her in the cot and there is no calming her down (every two minutes in between).

I just don't if I am doing the right thing. Is she too young to understand? Am I letting her hurt her little throat by letting her cry for so long? Will she develop a fear of her cot? If someone said to me don't leave her crying for an hour that's totally the wrong thing to do then I would stop, but on the flip side if someone said to me it's fine just persever then I will.

I know that all babies are different, I just don't know which way to go.

If anyone could help me I would really appreciate it. I haven't eaten all day for all the trauma!

Hi, I really sympathise with you, my lo is 7 weeks old and I have been looking at controlled crying as well, to be honest I just don't have the nerve to do it at the moment but I do know a couple of people who swear by it so I don't think there is a right way or wrong way, it just depends on the baby and the mum. If this is only the second day then you might just have to wait it out for a little while longer. I don't think she would be able to hurt her throat crying although I know when they really get going it sounds like they might!

I'm afraid I probably haven't been much help but I'm sure someone will be along on here soon with a bit more experience. Best of luck and don't worry, your lo will be fine and I bet she was as pleased as always to see you this morning even though she didn't sound like it last night!

Personally I wouldn't leave my lo- 10 weeks - to cry for too long as she gets so hot and sweats even! She needs me to get her off to sleep which can be very frustrating at times but she is still only young. We did controlled crying with our boys but at a much later age - both were over a year old and had started not wanting to go to bed! They understood and could speak, whereas a tiny baby just has a need that needs satisfying. I'm not against people doing it, i just couldn't do it yet. Everyone's different! Sorry, not much help, do what's best for you and lo. x

I think she might be a bit little for controlled crying. Have you thought about trying pick up put down instead? Basicaly you pick them up as soon as they cry put them over your shoulder and pat their back whilst making shushing noises. As soon as they stop crying you put them straight back down but continue to pat/shush. Eventually they will fall asleep in their cot and once they are sound asleep you leave them. It can be very tiring for you, I did it when Millie was 7 months and I thought my back was going to break I had to lift her out that many times, but it really worked, she has slept through ever since. It's a bit less traumatic for you as well because you don't have to sit and listen to them cry.

I found paige went through a faze of wanting me to sing to her while she was in her cot (god my dd must have bad hearing lol) but i stopped it after a couple of nights as i felt that she would get too used to it and want it every night for god knows how long. My dh decided to put the tv on with the sound on mute one night and most of the time now thats the only thing that'll get her off to sleep, i think its the lights and the movements on the tv, gonna have to get a night light i think, she hates dull lights and darkness, if we walk into a shop that has strange lighting she goes berserk

Is there anything she finds soothing at other times such as the washing machine, you can get cds of that sort of thing that might help.
Maddie was a bad sleeper for quite some time and I completely understand as controlled crying would not work for us, if she decides not to sleep she wont, if i leave her crying she would carry on until she makes herself sick.
I started putting Maddie down and sitting with her with my hand on her chest until she slept and graduall;y over the next few nights removing my hand and just sitting in the room and then i started leaving the room but popping back in if she grumbled before she started to cry, this is probably not the best method but it worked for us and now she goes down after her 7pm bottle i kiss her goodnight and she settles herself most of the time, very occasionally i have to pop back in once or twice.

Thanks for all the advice. It's really appreciated and it's nice to know that I can post up a question and get loads of advice.

It was funny this morning when we got up as you say after all the crying last night she was full of smiles this morning as if nothing had happened. It was such a relief to know that she didn't hate me!!

I think I will give the pick up, put down thing a go although just thinking about another episode like today fills me with dread and makes me wonder whether I should do it or just let her do her own thing.

Anyway I'll let you all know how I get on.

I have been using controlled crying with Morgana. She now tends to settle quickly in her cot and drift off to sleep without me having to be there with her. In the beginning I used to sit with Morgana and stroked her tummy to calm her down, but gradually withdrew this and now she luckily self settles well without it.

Even with the controlled crying it does get better! We used cc when we first put Millie to bed and then pick up put down when she woke in the night. After 3 nights she went to sleep without a murmer and I had to be forcebly restrained from going to poke her to check she was ok!!!