27/09/2012 at 21:03
I have a one year old baby boy and hubby and i are talking about ttc no.2 but probably not for another 10-18 months.
But we are arguing about how we will be ready in terms of space and what we might need to buy as we have no idea whether you'd need anything extra e.g. double buggy and the like. There's also generally working out the finances of surviving the maternity leave but also how to cope when back to work. Eek!
We live in a 2 bedroom house - the 2nd room being our son's small single room. You could just squeeze a double bed in there before it was a nursery. Hence I always thought we'd have to move to fit in another child. DS was a big baby and was out of his moses basket at 4 months and our bedroom was not really big enough for the cot.
So if we had a second i suppose we could have baby in with us - its likely to be smaller as would be delivered early due to me being high risk (long story) - but eventually we would probably need to shoehorn in a cot or maybe one of those cradles that are somewhere between cot and moses size. But not sure how we would cope sleep wise if baby were to be in with us. Hubby says this would be fine but he needs his sleep more than me.
Perhaps we have no choice? Maybe we would need to wait a while until we can move house? Or maybe we aren't getting any younger and ought to get on with it? (I am 31 next week and he is 36).
I can't figure out which age gap means you would need a double buggy either - would prefer to not go down that route but don't want to make life difficult. What else do you need for two? Presumably car seats, bath, cot etc can all be re-used if older child is not still using etc but what would you need?
Help! I think I am panicking! Hubby did kind of spring this on me a bit lol
29/09/2012 at 12:16
29/09/2012 at 13:33
01/10/2012 at 20:55
I have 3 and a half years between my two and i kept everything off my first. I reused the pram, carseat, jumperoo, bouncy chair, high chair - all the big stuff. I had a boy first and a girl second so am now in the process of selling all my boy clothes!
We live in a three bed but the smallest room is my husbands office. My little girl (just turned one last friday) is still in with us. She co sleeps most of the time but I do have a cot in with us and its a tight squeeze. I got a smaller cot as opposed to a cot bed. Luckily she is a lot smaller than her brother was! I have bought bunkbeds for my sons room and will move her in when she is ready to go in a bed.
We do plan to move but at the minute id rather make do and work less hours (3 days per week) so that im at home with my little girl and get to do some of the school runs until they are both a little older. I figure they would look back more fondly on this than living in a bigger house
Not sure where we are gonna put all the toys come christmas but I am more ruthless this time round and I know im not having anymore so dont feel the need to hoard!
Also my son didnt really go in the buggy past two and a half - If your son is about this age when the new baby arrives Id buy a sling and see how you get on before you pay for a double.
Good luck! Having one is great but seeing my two babies together is fabulous
02/10/2012 at 10:42
there was a 2 and half year age gap with my youngest two and 6 years with my eldest and middle, I'm of the opinion that the bigger the gap the better. I was able to have guilt free time with baby when eldest wasd at school but it was harder with the smaller age gap as both wanted something all the time!! x
02/10/2012 at 13:19
02/10/2012 at 20:05
Hi hun, I'm due in April with no2, and will be trying to reuse as much stuff as poss (if I can remember where I put everything lol!). DD will be about 4 by the time the littlun arrives and we haven't used the buggy with her for about a year or so, she loves walking so much! I will be trying to get as much stuff that we don't already have second-hand as we aren't the most well-off people ever and kinda hoping I have another girl as I have shed-loads of clothes that I kept just in case (I'm pretty young and have always wanted three or four so will probably be hoarding until I decide I've had enough kids lol!)
You'll know when the time is right hun, I knew that for my own sanity I won't ever be able to have a small age gap, four years is probably the minimum (good job I started young lol) but I'm sure you'll know what the right gap is for your family. Good luck for when you decide to try again xx
05/10/2012 at 22:23
hi tulip rose
as you know our lo is also one and we are in exactly the same predicament as you. psychologically its just too soon to think about trying again, we're still so tired! and we live in a little 2 bed house. the plan initially was to extend it but this never came off so i never actually imagined having one baby here, though we've managed.
we've preliminarily said 10 months or so for ttc, when lo is 2 or gets close to 2 (it took us 5 months to conceive before). personally (and this is only my opinion) i would really struggle with having another baby in my house, my parents have helped us out financially with fees and our house goes on the market next week, as with the lo we have it feels too small! We wouldnt have managed this for a much longer time without help and then i think we would have just had a much bigger age gap, 5 years or so. i really didnt want this though as i like the idea of the children we have playing together.I can see the argument a bigger age gap makes life easier in that the first child needs you less, but in the long run the children dont entertain each other so it might be like having two only children - twice the work! so i think we'll probably go middle of the road for about a 3 year gap and i hope we feel ready when it comes to it. Age wise, i wouldnt worry - another 2 or 3 years and you shouldnt expect a massive decline in your fertility. there are pros and cons for bigger/smaller age gaps between children and everyone feels differently. i guess it comes down to how you and your oh feel and what you can cope with.
For me, another in this house just isnt an option - i'd go insane! and i worry about the effect on everyone. x
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