Hi
I need some advice, my son is nearly 5 and seems to be pushing his luck more than usual since his baby sister arrived, i cant seem to do anything but shout at him, he just doesnt listen, any advice and guidance to what i can do, his step daddy tries to spend more time with him he just seems to want my attention which is difficult when i am breastfeeding caitlin, should i give up breastfeeding and spend more time with him or stick at it. Also worried as he has mentioned he wants to see his real daddy since she has arrived, what do i do help!!! cant stop crying most days now,
oh tracey!
what a time you are having!
it is totally normal for older kids to play up when new baby arrives. the only way i could give you the advice would be to spend as much time as poss with him when not feeding caitlin, try to involve him (which i'm sure you do) with nappy changes, choice of her clothes, making her bed etc.
it sounds really condescending - sorry!, but try to change tack on the shouting to calm reasoning - whick i know you have prob tried! the Experts say dont use bribery, but i will confess - i use it all the time!! i find for mine (i have 3) it works most of the time (except on isobel who is only 9 months anyway!!!)
could you get your OH to take C out in the pram / car in the eve, so you can have some you & him time?
as for BF - stick with it as long as you can, but you will know when it isnt gonna work for you any longer, but you could still have the chance that he may still play you up anyway even if bottle feeding. when bf, could you have the chance to read with him / let him tell you stuff / make up stories etc - or even watch his films etc togther. if you have mastered the art of having free hands, could you play little games with him, but involve Caitlin to (things like snap card games), then when he wins, you & C lose, then the other way round?
what is his relationship with his bio dad? if good, and ex is ok with him, could you let him go more than normal? it could make him calm down a bit?
How old is C? it sounds like you have a hell of a lot of hormones running round at the moment, and until you feel back in control of him, you prob feel you are fighting a losing battle. try not to cry - it will get better, promise!!
xxxxxxx
hello sorry i wont be writing from experience but thought i'd put my pennys worth in!
i'm not suggesting anything you are or aren't doing, just brainstorming , im sure youre doing a fantastic job and its hard enough with one, let alone two!
is it possible that your oh is unwittingly treating lo differently from your son making him notice the difference between real dad and not. (or even his parents/the grandparents)
could you try doing a 'los had their time now lets do something for us!'
it is probably v. hard but i would try ignoring lo for short bursts giving son undivided attention
i wouldnt give up bf but you could always express occasionally and let someone else feed lo while you spend time with son (but only if you want to, your son also has to learn that both him and baby each deserve attention and you wouldn't want to end up letting him think he can have his way if he stamps his feet hard enough)
perhaps the attention seeking is continuing because he's getting a reaction, try a reward chart and praise instead.
does he have a special routine at bed time, like lo has her feeds with you, could he have bed and a story with you whilst lo in other room sleeping?
what about comments about what a fantastic big brother he is etc
really hope you manage to find something to make it easier for you all, take care and good luck
caitlin is 3 weeks old today, robbie doesnt see his daddy due to us living 300 miles apart, thanks ill try the games n spending more time with him xx it know im not alone in this at least thanks again xx