17/08/2009 at 11:07
17/08/2009 at 13:01
My son didnt sleep through the night in his own cot untiil he was 8 months old, before that he used to wake constantly and wouldnt go back to sleep unless I breastfed him.
I went on a sleep workshop run by my HV. Babies/children need a sleep trigger. Everyone has a sleep pattern of different stages of sleep, Rem sleep etc, and we all wake up for a brief second but for most people we roll over an go back to sleep. However for children they need the same sleep trigger to go back to sleep when they wake, ie a dummy, a fed, rocking, singing etc. So if they fall to sleep being fed, if they then wake on their own in the cot they wonder what the problem is why has it changed - so cry to be soothed back to sleep in one way or another.
It sounds as if your son has got into a pattern and he knows when he wakes in the night you go get him he falls to sleep in your bed but then when he stirs wonders where he is/what is wrong. I think the best way for a baby to sleep well is for them to fall asleep on their own in their own bed. I understand your concern about your little one falling and hitting his head I used to worry about the same thing as when I first started a sleep programme with H he used to stand up crying in his cot but I used to go in kiss him and lye him back down, I never used to let him stand in the cot for that reason. He got the hang of it very, very quickly. I didnt do controlled crying as such as couldnt bare leaving him for long periods on his own crying. I used to go in and out every two minutes until he fell asleep on his own, soothing him in between times.
We got a good bedtime routine going which is great, you just need to break the middle of the night habit but letting him know he needs to sleep in his own cot not your bed. I think there are a couple of ways around it, one to sit quitely in his room until he goes off, with as little interaction as possible, and then over a course of a few nights move further and further away until you are out of the room when he goes to sleep or if you can cope with it go in and out to make sure he is okay but make sure he falls back to sleep on his own. His tears will probably be that of confusion and fraustration on the first couple of nights at the change. If you visit him frequently he will know you havent abandoned him. Some people choose to have the babies in the bed with them all night and it is just personal choice really I think its fine if thats what you want but i dont think the quality of sleep is so good for anyone.
Good luck which ever way you choose to go, as I know tiredness can make the day much harder all round.
17/08/2009 at 13:12
Wow Charmaines ideas are really good,was just going to post I'd attempt controlled crying-but as I've only done it a couple of nights I doubt I could do that for a week or more! Far too harsh.And I have a wil child in second son-I'd worry about diving out of cots too!
I like the idea of constantly returning-much better than co-sleeping-I doubt I could fully relax if I co-slept.
Good luck hun x
17/08/2009 at 13:42
17/08/2009 at 15:26
The best of luck to you hope you find a solution that works for you.
Oh I read a really good book too, it was by Andrea Grace - she dealt with baby sleep and has a web site with good advice.
17/08/2009 at 15:32
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