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on demand or routine???? help please!!!!!

Chat < Babies < Breast & bottle feeding

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  • mrsthorleytobe
    mrsthorleytobe

    02/07/2009 at 09:03

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    Hi, as I switched over from bf due to problems with my milk supply, I decided it was only right and fair to Joseph to keep feeding him on demand. He has always fed little and often and generally starts crying for food after about 2-2 and a half hours (can be longer if he's asleep or as short as 1 and a half hours!) My hv advised me to make him go at least three hours in between feeds and to offer cooled boiled water in between, which I do. However if I think he is genuinely hungry and distressed I give in after 2 and a half hours! (naughty me but I don't think it's right to make him wait if he's really hungry)

    Anyway, trying to eke him out a bit hasn't really made a difference to when he wants food. I thought he would take more at each feed and go longer in between but he still only takes 2-4 oz (even with a nappy change to wake him up, lots of winding etc in the middle) and is hungry 2 and a half hours later. He's now 6 and a half weeks old.

    Should I be stricter and feed him only every 3 hours? I mean, from the guidelines on the packet, he's meant to have 5 feeds of 5 oz a day (whereas he has 7-8 of 3 on average so the same total just spread out more) so should be going 4 hours in between.

    Or should I just keep going with on demand? The trouble is as you now have to make up bottles individually and wait for the boiled water to cool down, it's a nightmare not knowing when he will need his next one. In this heat, they don't really keep if he decides to stay asleep past the three hour mark!!! And I'm worried that he will need to be in more of a routine by the time I go back to work and start weaning etc. Will he develop one over time? Does anyone have any experience of this, please?

    Oh it's all so confusing. I thought switching to ff would end the feeding stress but no, it continues!!! So any advice welcomed - would love to know how other ex-bfers have coped with this!

    M xx
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  • immense
    immense

    02/07/2009 at 10:57

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    My lo was exactly the same when I changed to mixed feeding!

    i tried to do at least 3 hours inbetween but gave in of nothing else worked including boiled water! If they are hungry then they are hungry! This went on for about 5 weeks and now suddenly she is happy to go 3-4 hours in between mostly, even if she is awake! I also have found the dummy helps to comfort her as sometimes she wants to suck for comfort not food! She was also doing the silly feeds, and my opinion was to judge what she took over 24 hours in total rather than one feed! She wasn't taking anymore than recommended!

    The last week she has also now started taking 5-6oz each time which is great! She is 9 weeks old.

    Your lo will probably grow out of it and gradually go longer, but it may take a few weeks. Just keep going with what he wants, and so long as he is content and putting on weight and having wet nappies it will be fine! It is definitely worth trying the boiled water first before food - but definitely give in if you need to!

    Re making up the bottles, you can make all the water up in advance and leave it at room temperature and then just add the powder when needed! That is what I did as her feeding was so erratic! It saves so much stress and screaming

    Good luck
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  • mrsthorleytobe
    mrsthorleytobe

    02/07/2009 at 11:27

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    Thanks immense, you always seem to be one step ahead of me! lol The new guidelines I was given say the water has to be hot (at least 70 degrees) when you mix it with the formula but this is such a pain, maybe no-one actually does it except me! Your way sounds much easier and I think I'll just try that. It's good to know he might grow out of it and go longer even when he's awake! M x
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  • girlinleeds
    girlinleeds

    02/07/2009 at 15:45

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    hi, i'd go with feeding your lo on demand, that's what i've done with my little girl and this past couple of weeks she's settled into her own routineof 7am, 12, 5, 7 (bedtime bottle she only takes a couple of oz) and dream feed at 11.
    As for making the bottles up, i do it with just boiled water as well, it's a bit easier now we know when she'll want it. Before this i phoned the sma helplin as i was really stressing about making her bottles and what they suggested was buying a flask, boiling the kettle and filling the flask straight away then using this water to make the bottles as it will stay hot, means you don't have to wait for the kettle to boil. Made night feeds a lot easier, i just fill the sink with cold water and stand the bottle in for a few minutes to cool it down (i make the bottle put it in the sink do pippas bum and by the time i'd done that it was cool enough for her to drink)
    hth
    xx
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  • xkelx
    xkelx

    03/07/2009 at 02:35

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    I fed Riley on demand for the first few weeks and he got hungry after a couple of hours. This went on for a while until I started giving him boiled water to make him go longer between feeds and now he will go at least 3hrs. I don't feed on demand now though as Riley had colic and feeding too often can make it worse. It takes about 3-4hrs for FF babies previous feed to digest.

    I've read a few books (Gina Ford CLB and The Baby Whisperer) and I've now put Riley into a fairly laid back routine. May just be coincidence but he's definitely improved as he used to cry quite a lot. And if we take him out of the routine he gets mardy. I would recommend The Baby Whisperer if you want a routine. Its not as strict as others as it works by following the cues of your baby rather than clock watching.

    When I make up bottles I boil the kettle in the morning, leave for a bit then pout into all the bottles for the day and leave them on the worktop and just add the powder when needed. For the night feed and morning feed I pre-make the bottles and pop them in the fridge then heat them in the microwave, just enough to take the chill of really as Riley will take it at any temp.

    xxx
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  • CupcakeLadyJ
    CupcakeLadyJ

    03/07/2009 at 05:37

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    Toby is 8-weeks and 3-days old and I feed him on demand, although saying that, he does have a pattern of feeding that he seems to stick to most days!

    Sometimes he only goes 2hrs between feeds, others its 3-4hrs. I have asked every single midwife and HV and doctor I have come into contact with and they have assured me that if its working for Toby, the way he is feeding is FINE. They have not once said I need to stretch his feeds out to 3-4hrs.

    They think he is tanking himself up during the day as he only tends to wake once in the night, this used to be 3am ish, but now is getting as late as 5am on some occasions.

    As he was BF for 3-weeks, they said he is used to demand feeding... they do always say that eventually he will settle down into more of a routine and go longer between feeds but for now, they have said he is happy, contented, looks very well and gaining weight well so they are very happy for us to continue feeding how we are.

    On an average day he has 6-8 feeds and in total has no more than about 25-27ozs - he eats less spread over more feeds instead of 4-5 bigger feeds.

    Just go with what works for YOU and JOSEPH and stuff the HV!!!

    Julie xxx
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  • immense
    immense

    04/07/2009 at 10:44

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    No probs lol I don't know if it is ok - but someone said they 3/4 fill their bottles in the morning and then just add the last quarter at feed time so it is a little bit warmer?! I haven't tried that though as I don't want Ella to get used to having heated bottles lol as she takes it at room temperature which is great when we are out! However, on the odd occasion I have made a bottle within 30 minutes of boiling the kettle - the formula does seem to mix better!

    As everyone has said though - do what works for you and Joseph
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  • gsmummy55
    gsmummy55

    04/07/2009 at 17:37

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    Demand worked for us and I was also told by mw that babies don't need to go every 3 hours, just feed them on demand whether bottle or breast fed.

    Gabe is 14 months now but at birth he was a biggie at 9lb 1oz and by 4 weeks old he was drinking a 6oz bottle every 2.5 hours in the day (went 8 hours at night). I never told HV as I knew she'd disagree but I just knew it was right for him & he has never followed guidelines, despite being a chubby 15lb1 at 11 weeks, he is now 23lb2 and on 50th centile so just right. So don't worry that he'll be overweight if he eats more often as they all even out and no 2 children are the same.

    Also it is probably not just because he was bf, Gabe was never bf but still wanted food often, they have such small stomachs that it is crazy to expect them to go 3+ hours in the early days, most adults snack inbetween meals lol.

    A routine will definitely develop, I would have a look at his feeding and sleeping times (even write them down!) and you may find he's in a routine already and you can add things in like, around the time he goes to bed, bath him and then feed him (make sure he's due a feed so he takes a good amount) then put him to bed, this helps develop a night time routine.

    I used to sterilise my bottles the night before then fill with boiled water, put caps on and just add the formula when he was due a feed. This is what I was advised to do in hospital & it is really handy as nothing gets wasted xx
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  • Blah blah blah
    Blah blah blah

    10/07/2009 at 23:03

    PM
    i initially fed Lili-mae on demand and she settled into her own routine easily which she tends to keep to. she was 8lb 6oz at birth and when she had her 2 week check with the midwife prior to discharging her she wieghed 8lb 13oz. now at 3 weeks old she takes 4 oz every four hours but if she decided she wants a little bit extra ill just give her it.
    when my sister had her first son the hv's told her to make him go four hours between feeds and if she couldnt get him to wait for his feed to give him water as you were told. they were ignored aftre a few days of trying it . at the end of the day they can tell the difference and my nephew became distraught by it so dont beat yourself up about it. i certainly wont be making my litlle girl wait for her food either!!!!!
    as long as your little one is gaining weight and is healthy feeding him lower ammounts and more frequently shouldnt be a problem.
    I personally dont believe MW or HV's who have children would do some of what they recommend for us to do themselves, but because of guidelines they have to use in practice we get sometimes impracticle advice.
    i too boil the water for a full days feeds and add powder later. i only do it this way as little one had terrible colic and find this helps her stomach. if she didnt get colic i would have carried on making her feed up completely for the day and putting them in the fridge.
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