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Please help. He doesn't want me anymore !!!

Chat < Babies < Breast & bottle feeding

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  • sabbyg03
    sabbyg03

    24/03/2008 at 07:18

    PM
    Need some advise please ladies. I've been breastfeeding my son since birth and he is now almost 9 months old. I've been back to work for a week and with solids he feeds off me 1st thing in morning then has bottle of expressed mid morning and mid afternoon whilst i'm at work, He then feeds of me last thing at night.

    The last couple of days (weekend) he's been wanting less and less and last night all he wanted to do was bite me (5 teeth already !!) and pull away. Didn't suck at all. Went to bed without a feed. Woke in the night and refused me again and then refused again this morning.

    Could it be that he is full on his solids (which he still eats the same amount as a month ago) or that he doesn't want mummy milk from me anymore ?

    My expressing is getting less and less and it's taking me a couple of evenings of express to freeze enough to make up just one bottle!

    Really stressing, he's a bit young to be refusing after feedling all this time isn't it? Any hints or should I just use up my supply in bottles and switch to formula? How much should he have if he's on 3 solid meals a day?

    Sorry it's so long.

    Thank you, Sab x
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  • hayley_l
    hayley_l

    24/03/2008 at 11:09

    PM
    hi hun, that must be soo hard for you, is it maybe just a phase he is going through. Isaac is 11 months and has 3 feeds a day but some days like your lo he just bites or grins abnd refuses whereas other days he cant seem to get enough. try to persevere for a few days and see how it goes. xx
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  • EnglebertW_nkface
    EnglebertW_nkface

    24/03/2008 at 11:19

    PM
    Firstly, don't worry!! He won't let himself starve. Millie did exactly the same thing to me when she was about 9 months old. She was on three feeds a day, morning, evening and mid afternoon and one day she just refused to feed. I kept offering and after a day or so she changed her mind and started again. About a month and a half after that she stopped again, this time for good. We tried giving her expressed milk, formula and cows milk and she wouldn't drink any of them. She is now 18 months and still doesn't drink milk! I really wouldn't worry (easier said than done!), my health visitor told me just to make sure she got plenty of cheese and yoghurts etc to keep her calcium up. If he will still take milk in a bottle then I would give him that for now and keep trying with the breast feeds for a day or two.

    It is possible that going back to work has affected your milk supply. Are you managing to express while you are at work? Your employers actually have a legal obligation to provide you with somewhere to express and store milk and breaks to do it. Might be worth speaking to them

    Good luck, Kerry xx
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  • arg
    arg

    24/03/2008 at 17:28

    PM
    Hi I had exactly the same when my lo was 8 months then again at 10 months when she refused any milk at all from me for 6 days the first time and 4 the 2nd. It was awful and I felt quite upset but expressed all day every day to keep up my supply. She went back both times (although she was unwell both times and not taking solids either) and is still feeding now (1 year in 2 days time!) but like hayley's lo she bites me every now and then. In fact last monday she clamped down so hard I couldn't get her off because it hurt so much then I stupidly tried again and she did the same so I just put her straight to bed and cried because it still hurt! It then takes a few days for me to be able to relax again but fortunately she hasn't done it again since.
    I think you should do what is best for you. I went back to work with my 1st when he was 8 months and he stopped feeding soon after too which was disappointing. Do you think he is missing you being at work?
    Your milk supply may also be a bit low as you are back at work and so probably busy and feeling stressed won't help either. If I were you I would persevere for a few days and see what happens - you could increase your supply if you wanted by just expressing more frequently.
    I agree with bedhead that you should talk to your manager about having time to express.
    Hope it all works out for you but whatever happens he has been very fortunate to have had 9 months of breastmilk already! xx
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  • sabbyg03
    sabbyg03

    25/03/2008 at 06:56

    PM
    Thank you ladies - feeling much better.

    Kerry - Not much chance of expressing at work. They've been good in allowing me to come back and work only 6 hours a day. I work through lunch too so I can finish by 3:30 and pick little man up again early. As it is when I express I only get 1 - 3 oz a time and if I express in the morning I find I get less and less out at the end of the day !! Yesterday morning I got 2 oz and last night only 1 !!

    I do have a small supply in the freezer so we'll be ok for a couple of weeks !!

    Arg - I do feel like he is punishing me by being back at work but my dad has him and he absolutely loves his Grandad so every weekday is a treat at the moment !!

    I tried him again yesterday afternoon and he refused me again but last night after his bedtime routine I tried again and he had a good feed although he did use me to fall asleep. Maybe he's started to associate feeding off me as sleep time !

    I am determined to persevere with the hope of him getting breastmilk as near as possible to being a year old.

    Arg - is your Lo 1 on 26th? That's my birthday - very special day!!

    Thanks again - fingers crossed !!

    Sab x
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  • arg
    arg

    25/03/2008 at 12:52

    PM
    Hi Sab - you are doing really well and you should be really proud of yourself! I know how difficult it was to go back to work and carry on with breastfeeding when my first 2 were both 8 months and am really fortunate this time to be able to take another 6 months on top of my full year of maternity leave as a career break so that I don't have to worry about more expressing etc.
    How do you express? I found from about 9 months that I got more if I hand expressed as when I used my electric pump which had been great up until then it took a good few minutes to get anything out at all. I know it is tiring but just remember the more you express the more you will get and so will be able to give breastmilk for longer - but don't beat yourself up over it as you will miss out on enjoying your lo especially as you are now back at work so see him less.
    Also, don't worry about him falling asleep especially as he had a good feed before.My lo falls asleep after a feed at lunchtime and at night but she feeds first and it works for us - it is still close time together so it's fine with me.
    It's great that he is still feeding from you - I remember my daughter's first feed after her 6 day strike and it was really special as she just seemed relieved to be back and fed for ages!
    Oh and yes, it is her 1st birthday tomorrow and you're right, it is a special day! Hope you have a good birthday too. xxx
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