Baby number 2

Jaclyn Redman

30/12/2010 at 22:13

Hi I have a daughter who has just turned 2 last week. We have always said we want 2 children but due to childcare money etc we have to wait to get pregnant around the time my daughter is on her way to school or about to start.

Only problem is I hurrendously want one now to the point I think of nothing else to the point it's making me quite miserable at the thought of waiting what could be another 18 months.

Then I keep having these hurrendous thoughts I shouldn't have one cause what if something bad happens during or after pregnancy (god knows why) which I couldn't cope with.

Im worried im not giving my daughter the time she needs as im to busy thinking about number 2.

Am i just thinking this because in reality my little girl is a toddler and not a baby.

Then I think what if it takes me ages we were do lucky with out daughter we got caught first time but I am 31 so not getting any younger.

Have so many thoughts and bad thoughts running round. HELP.

audrey1234

31/12/2010 at 14:24

Only you can decide when is the right time to have another baby. The thoughts you are having - what if something bad happens - I thought that too, and I have 4 healthy children. 31 is not old.

Jaclyn Redman

31/12/2010 at 16:26

Thank you not sure what to do im SO ready to have one now. I think my husband would be but money is taking over my feelings we just cant afford to have 2 in nursery.

The bad feelings im sure will go away I hope but you do see so many bad things happening to children especially here about them a lot on facebook its just heart breaking.

I think I will have to see how things go but I would love one now. xxx

audrey1234

31/12/2010 at 16:38

If you did have another baby in 9 months time, you would cope somehow. Money might be tight for a while, but somehow you'll cope. I have 2 girls and 2 boys and I am 37 now, otherwise I would love more (as my baby is only 19 months)

Would your husband feel more ready in another year? Could you meet halfway and wait another few months?

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Jaclyn Redman

31/12/2010 at 17:48

We had originally said when Eve was 3 1/2 but I think we could compromise and make is when she is 3 nothing to say will happen straight away anyway.

Gosh 4 children my sister has 4 boys now cant see me wanting any more after 2 but never say never I suppose.

Thanks your help lets see if I can get past this lull im feeling have a few holidays and weddings next year so fingers crossed will go quickly and before you no it. xx

Sym

31/12/2010 at 22:56

Hi. We struggled due to childcare cost but then we decided sod it, we'll find a way. With me staying at home the tax credits were adjusted & we actually work out exactly the same as we did before. Having said that my old job was on rubbish pay. We had Mia then tried again after 9 months & was lucky to get pregnant straight away. Since Ava arrived I'm a ful-time mum & part-time student & Lee has changed jobs to have better hours.

I know what you mean with worrying about random things. I bought 5 litres of washing up liquid & things like that in case I had to stay in hospital for ages as Lee can't drive. Things have a way of working out. I worried Mia would feel pushed out with having another but it actually seems easier now there are 2 of them.

I hope you are able to go with whatever you decide. Good luck & happy new year. X

Jaclyn Redman

01/01/2011 at 10:39

I am thinking of just sod it but I know how hard we struggled with maternity leave last time. We bought a house 2007 and lets say we didnt get a bargain. We can fully afford our lifestyle and have a nice one but loosing my wage would be such a struggle with that and childcare.

Sounds like im answering my own question really in that i cant afford one but this gut wrenching feeling I have to have another baby is making me sick I want one so much. Suppose should be greatfull for the little health toddler I have and be patient. xxx

youngmummy

01/01/2011 at 14:45

There never seems to be enough money spare to afford another child but it works out somehow! Our youngest girls were not planned and I panicked how I would afford too. It meant cutting back on some things and trying to live to a budget but it worked out in the end and you adjust to it. Don't forget you can have your daughter in nursery/pre-school for 15hrs for free once she is 3 yrs old and in my experience the eldest child costs a lot more than their younger siblings. You usually already have all the expensive basics you need from last time and can reuse them.

Hope it all goes well for you! xx

Jaclyn Redman

01/01/2011 at 19:32

I thought that youngmum (how old are yours) you are always more prepared for number 2 after all i already have the major essentials. But quick question what are the rules on this nursery 15 hours can you lump them together or is it 3 hours per day. Currently my daughter does 2 days full time at nursery can i use 15 hours against these 2 days.

xxx

Sym

02/01/2011 at 00:53

We saved a ton with Ava. We saced quite a lot of stuff and after the 1st I relised I didn't need everything the shop sold and the most expensive brand of everything. if you do decide to have another check out ebay for cheap stuff. Also, I registered with a group on-line. It's Freegle. They cover different areas and its a site that you can donate stuff or get stuff. It is free to join and there is no charge for any of the items. as long as you can collect them from people so its environmentally friendly too. x

youngmummy

03/01/2011 at 15:49

my girls are 4 1/2 yrs 3yrs and 15mths. I've had the 15 hours as 3 hour sessions at pre-school over 5 days but I think you can have it to cover 2 full days and a 1/2 day too. They should be able to tell you more at your nursery but it only applies for school term time after their 3rd birthday so I've had to pay for my middle daughter all last term even though her birthday was beginning of October.

Jaclyn Redman

03/01/2011 at 17:40

You had nice gaps between yours bet you have our hands full though. I will see what happens all being well at it did work out she would get free of most of it free from next year probably look at number 2 then. Don't think year is really an option if im being sensible.

Lucky with terms times as little girl born end of December so she will start January after that.

Jaclyn Redman

10/01/2011 at 18:51

Finally decided after some discussion we are trying early next year. I have implant in so having that taken out about Feb next year and then see from there. That way my little girl will be in nursery by the time i had pregnancy maternity etc. Thats if it all works out.

Im still terribly broody and so wanting and little baby and still worried bad things will happen but I have a busy year im going to enjoy my little girl and get saving for number 2 (very sensible i know)

Thanks for all the advise and help glad to know im not strange. x

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