Christmas Jokes to cheer us all up?

07/12/2007 at 20:00

Feeling a bit down in the dumps so I thought I'd start a festive joke section. ( or cracker jokes?)

What do Snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes ofcourse!

Yes - very lame I know and I have heard a few other snowmen jokes but they are a bit rude so I'll leave it to Claire to add them! ( sorry claire )

simone

07/12/2007 at 20:10

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !

Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

07/12/2007 at 20:22

Thank you Simone!

Kas

07/12/2007 at 22:54

oh my god Simone,
they really are bad cracker jokes.

Ive just told them to ant and our friend and was told i should be ashamed even reading them aloud! hehehehe.

ill have to remember them when we've all finished dinner on xmas day.

Kas xx

Zoe

08/12/2007 at 08:23

Do you keep your cracker jokes Simone?!

Jack thought some of them were funny but he is 4 and a half!!

If I think of any i'll be back.

Zoe xx

Twin1 Tasha

08/12/2007 at 08:39

What does Jack frost get for Christmas day?
A freezer!

Whats brown and sneaks around the kitchen?
Mince spies!

What happened to the man who shop lifted a calendar at christmas?
He got 12 months!

What do you get if you eat christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep and crisp and even!!

Zoe

08/12/2007 at 08:42

Hehehe, especially like the mince spies!!

Lucy-H

08/12/2007 at 09:07

Daniel just read them over my shoulder, and thought they were very funny. He really liked santa paws one.

Kas

08/12/2007 at 09:25

Ants offering:

What is the name of Santas wife?
Mary Christmas (boom boom)

Kas wont let me put in a joke about santas sack so you will have to ask for it

will reply when I think of more

Ant

Twin1 Tasha

08/12/2007 at 09:35

Very Good Ant!!!!!

simone

08/12/2007 at 09:38

Not sure if i will get away with this, but pp can always remove it!

How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.

Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Zoe

08/12/2007 at 09:41

Hehehehe, very good Simone, I like them!!

Twin1 Tasha

08/12/2007 at 09:55

Hehe Simone!!!

simone

08/12/2007 at 10:01

I must admit i do cheat, i googled it!

Twin1 Tasha

08/12/2007 at 10:03

Me too!!!!!

Lucy-H

08/12/2007 at 11:06

Go on then Ant..... lets have a look at santa's sack!!!!!!!
Oops I mean a read of santa's sack!

Caroline

08/12/2007 at 13:08

Very good girls!

I have to say Simone's rude ones are the best!!!!!

08/12/2007 at 14:51

Trust somebody to lower the tone! ( he he )

Kas

08/12/2007 at 17:46

hi its ant

the sack gag was very similar to simones so I wont repeat it

but.

What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle (bu,dum ching)

simone

08/12/2007 at 20:27

Very funny Ant, just getting up of the floor!lol

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