Fathers in the Delivery Room

Nicolamumto3

16/04/2008 at 17:31

I read this article with interest and just wondered what you girls think?? Terry was present for Tate and Luka's births and was really amazing, and Toms dad was actually great too when he was born. so couldn't imagine giving birth without 'dad' there but I know every situation is different and just wondered what do you all think?

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Caroline

16/04/2008 at 18:04

I have just read the article, it makes interesting reading! I spent months psyching myself up for a labour by myself as we didn't know if Gareth would make it home in time. I didn't have to go through the labour due to a C section, but i think I would have managed OK by myself.

I can totally see where the guy who wrote the article is coming from! I have a male friend who was at the birth of his child very reluctantly, he hated every second (his partner knows not!). If Gareth said that he would prefer not to be there then I would be OK with it. I guess its personal choice!!

SarahH79

16/04/2008 at 18:41

Hi i told my oh that if he didn.t want to be there i'd understand but he said he wouldn't miss it for the world. And did you read my horror story?

Twin1 Tasha

16/04/2008 at 19:08

Interesting topic Nicola!
Ethan was born by c section and Gillan was fine coming in to the theatre and was amazingly reasuring during something that was painless but quite scary. However he was very nervous about being with me throughout my natural labour with Amber and even i was not at all sure of how he'd be, i even seriously considered having my sister in law whos a doctor present in case Gillan did a bunk!!! when it came to it though he was great and very supportive although he was very relieved my labour was less than 3 hours long and he was actually at the hospital for less time than when i had the c section!!

simone

16/04/2008 at 20:00

My sister is due to give birth in August and her hubby will not be in the delievery room, i will be instead. Its not that he does not want to be there, he is worried he will faint at the sight of blood and then the attention will be on him!

Karen

16/04/2008 at 20:48

Interesting topic Nicola. Ian was there at Hollie's birth although it really worried me throughout the pregnancy how he would be. He is a bit of a joker and i didn't think i would get much support but he was brilliant, except for when he offered me a curry half way through which needless to say i declined. He was ill on the day Hollie was born, with stomach cramps so i appreciate how good he was even more.

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Nicolamumto3

16/04/2008 at 21:03

I was worried about Terry too he said he would probably faint. But he was fabulous and even better when Luka was born.

16/04/2008 at 21:06

After all our probs 1st time around (see section on grief and loss) poor Nathan was very worried and nervous about 2nd time around. I am glad he was there to see what us women have to go through, but my sister was fab. As she has two children of her own she could understand exactly what help I needed.

Nicolamumto3

16/04/2008 at 21:16

I would love to be a birth partner what a fantastic experience.

Twin1 Tasha

17/04/2008 at 07:27

So i would I Nicola

I'd love to be a doula, ( like a professional birth partner)!

rileysmum

17/04/2008 at 08:05

Ive always wanted to be a doula since having riley as there were many new mums in the hospital that didnt have anyone,i would offer free birthing partner servics(within reason)

Adi was there for rileys birth and did rather well,i do think dad should stay overnight,after surgery i was taken to the ward and didnt have the energy to argue and adi asked to stay till i fed riley but the nurses said he was not aloud as there were other new mums on the ward and it wouldnt be right,i was so angry for that as i didnt end up feeding riley till 7am the next morning,8hs since birtha and no feed.But what got me was i was woken about half hour later by another new mum with her babay and her hubby was aloud to stay and watch the 1st feed,all i wanted to do was cry,it realy did upset me,but hey who that was then and nxt time it wont happen.

SarahH79

17/04/2008 at 08:31

My time in hospital was ok i suppose, worse thing was that as i'd had a c section i couldn't reach to hold jack, plus as i'd had a general i felt so woozy and can remember really wanting to cuddle him but no one was around to help me or even asked if i wanted to. Plus when he cried for feed they just whisked him away and didn't ask if i'd like to do it. Maybe they thought i'd want to rest but it'd be nice if they'd asked. Will def know what i want next time and will speak up!!!

DawnG

17/04/2008 at 11:14

What a great topic Nicola!!

John was with me when i had Cameron, he was fantastic and even cut the cord!!! The experience brought us closer together, and he'll defo be there when we have another!!

Andrea1972

17/04/2008 at 11:35

My Husband said he HAD to be their. My first birth ended in a emergency section so all though he was with me in op room he didn't see much but was terrific talking to me. Second time when i had my daughter it was a vaginal birth. He stayed at the top end and refused to see what was happening at the bottom end as there was a lot of blood. He described it to his mates that it was like a slaughter house lol! Since talking to him about possibly having another he has said that he couldn't watch a baby coming out of me as it would put him off sex for life.

Caroline

17/04/2008 at 12:23

We stayed in hospital for 7 nights, 1 before the birth and 6 after and Gareth stayed with me for all but 1 night. The day before we were allowed home he went home to freshen up and do some washing, he came back prepared for another night in the chair by my bed but we were allowed home!

He had a tranport issue, i am the driver but he can drive our car with L plates and with me with him. We live a 50 minute drive away from the hospital. I just assumed that he could stay and no-one questioned it! I did have a private room of my own so it didn't affect anyone else!

He went stir crazy in the room all day and so he used to walk into the town centre for food and get some shopping.

Nicolamumto3

17/04/2008 at 14:07

I think its great that you got to spend those first few days interupted and together. Whilst its nice to get home quick you then get bombarded with visitors and end up worrying about stupid things like housework and cooking!!

Caroline

17/04/2008 at 16:18

Gareth hated it, I loved it as I had meals provided and could concentrate on Bronwyn!!! I did want to get home after 7 nights there, I was beginning to think we would never leave!!!

I am hoping not to spend 7 nights there this time!!

Nicolamumto3

17/04/2008 at 16:29

you will want to get home to Bronwyn next time I expect. I didn't stay in as couldn't bear to be away from Tate as hadn't left him before. He looked so huge when he came in to see Luka as a newborn!

rileysmum

18/04/2008 at 08:16

Caroline can i ask is it mandatory that you have to stay in 7days after a c-section,only the problems i had with riley have made me think about giving birth again.
When the time does come i will talk to my Dr but just thought id ask

Caroline

18/04/2008 at 08:38

No, Bronwyn had an infection due to her waters breaking and not being born for 36 hours. She was under the care of special baby care. We had to stay in until we got the results of some blood tests. There was no reason for us to be there really!!! They just wanted to make sure everything was OK before we were sent home!

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