I'm pretty new here, but I am feeling so alone right now and I have all this stuff in my head and nobody to talk to about it.
Me and boyfriend have been together almost 2 years, and in 2 years we've been through more than most couples do in 20 years. However there is just one issue on my mind right now.
When I was 6 months pregnant, after being hospitalised twice for 3 weeks, and being monitored very closely for the rest of my pregnancy, I discovered my boyfriend had been gambling online.
Last December, him and some friends went to Las Vegas to celebrate a birthday. His friends came back broke, and he came back with £800, the same amount he went with. This started him playing Black Jack online. At the time, he was still living with his parents, and I was living in a house share in the city centre. I was around 10 weeks pregnant, in January, and after he had been being an a$$hole to me for 2 weeks [very unlike him] he finally broke down and admitted he had wasted £2000 - TWO GRAND - my god - on gambling online and had lost every penny.
Now, he wasnt in debt as he earns good money and paid practically no board, he had alot of savings. But we were due to move in together a few weeks later, [start of February] and I was only earning £6 an hour in a call centre, and I had no furniture as the house share I lived in was fully furnished. Luckily, his parents gave us £1000 the next week to go buy our furniture.
So I got a mini statment, and in 4 days he had withdrawn £500 to gamble with. I confronted him and it wasnt pretty. I hacked into his account on a certain gambling website, and realised he had spent a further £5000 gambling. All his savings, which he has saved for 4 years, were gone.
I closed the account, took his card off him, got a mini statement every week to check he hadnt set up another account, I only gave him dribs and drabs of cash to spend on cigarettes/sandwiches/etc.
After laying off him a little bit, I went out this Saturday night with a friend, and left baby with him. I get on the PC today, and discover another betting/gambling site in the history. I got a mini statement from the bank again today, and when I went out, he spent £5 on a football bet, which he lost. Now he thinks I am totally over-reacting, but Im not.
I am meant to be back at work on 8th December, full time training, part time work, however, now hes slipped this once, I feel like I should work full time as I no longer trust him to keep a roof over our heads, we have no savings left, nothing to fall back on.
and i just dont know what to do. i have so many balls in the air and i know that sooner or later, somethings gotta give. but i cant have another failed relationship, i just cant.
welcome to pp im laura mum to Jack 16mnths and lola 11days, i also have a slight nightmare of an otherhalf!
Im sorry to hear youve had such a rough time, and if im to be honest i really dont blame you for not trusting him if hes had such a huge problem before surely it would be easier for him if he avoids it at all costs, have you tried sitting down and telling him how concerned you are about finances? Maybe if he knew how worried you were hed think twice, try going about it like your asking for help not talking about the gambling, as has been said in quite a few threads on here recently men are selfish! they find it nearly impossible to put themselves second to anyone. Im sorry i cant give much advice but im sure one of the others will be of more help. There is always plenty of support going round on here,
take care and cyber hugs to you xx
Welcome to pp,im emma mum to riley and by christ have been through more in the past few yr than most(like yourself).
Have you thought about seeking advice on G.A. you can always ask your GP or go to your local C.A.B as they can help you get the info you need,and advise on ways of helping.
Like laura says theres plenty here,and usually someone about.
Take care and chat soon.
Welcome to PPL, this is an amazing site with a lot of caring and supportive people. I see what you are going through. My BIL lives in the US and according to his fiance, he has also become a gambler. I never believed it at first but then realized its true. It really broke my sister's heart and I became concerned because she didn't have us to be there for her either.
Gambling like another other addiction is best beat when it is dealt by a professional. I think he should talk to someone soon, in that case you can go to work with a peaceful mind.
Best of luck! & let us know how things go!
Welcome to PP, like the others have said perhaps consider GA. My ex-partner of 11 years was addicted to drink and I agree that any addiction is hard to beat. In the end his addiction got the better of our relationship as he wasn't prepared to get help. So my advise would be if hes parpared to get help do it before it gets worse.
Good luck x x
i'm lucy, 27, mum to ben,2 with one on the way.
sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time.. gambling is a nasty addiction that wrecks people's lives and the internet makes it so much worse. my stepmum's nephew has blown ten grand in the last year and his parents have had to bail him out, with him promising to pay them back. they did it on the proviso that he would seek help from gamblers anonymous..
like the others said he really needs to get some help cos you don't want to have to be watching over his shoulder every five minutes and wondering what he's doing.
i can't believe he spat at you either - that's a whole other issue.. sounds like your family aren't very supportive, have you got any friends near you?
everyone is lovely on here, so if you ever need to chat just pop on and there's always someone about,
hope things get better for you xx
hi am jade 22 stepmom to 4
hope to chat to you soon
hope your ok, hows things going?
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