Moving him to a new nursery...

My LO has ben at his current nursery for just over 6 months now and we have become increasingly uncomfortable with some things associated with it.  Consistency of care is a biggie for me so it's been a really tough decision not taken lightly at all but I have put in his notice this week and sorted out a new nursery for him. 

The issues I had with current nursery -

• Some of the food on the menu concerned me - not a great deal of processed food but enough to bug me. Macaroni cheese from a tin is just lazy when they have the funds and staff to put pasta with a  cheese sauce - it doesn't take too long eh?
• None of the staff in the nursery have their own children and I don't think that there are any staff over the age of 30 which also niggles me.  Qualifications and training is essential obviously dont get me wrong, but I think that experience with your own children is also highly valuable.
• Signing in and out has been an issue for me - in 6 months I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been asked to sign him out.  Not too much of an issue as Grandma works in the same building but unfortuately still not good enough in terms of security
• Feedback is just not at all taken on board and i've had struggles trying to communicate with the nursery manager - I feel that although technically according to the prospectus they 'welcome feedback' that in reality they don't.  I just feel that parents needs are not considered at all.

 Good enough reasons to decide to move?  Everyone has a personal preference I know, and some of the above are about personal preference but the food and security I would imagine would be important to any parent.

 On the flip side the new nursery has the following in it's favour and is why I chose it -

•  Lots bigger, loads more space, more rooms = more space for him to run around
• More staff - the usual 1:3 ration but have an extra member of staff floating
• Food - all cooked fresh on the premises by in house cook with small percentage of processed foods confined to snack times only as far as I can gather from the menus they gave me up front
• Their mission statement includes ensuring parents feel comfortable  as well as ensuring that the child is well cared for and nurtured
• security - is like fort knox!

 The only issue for me now is to ensure a smooth transition from one ot the other and to be re-assured that I have made the right decision.   I feel I have made the right decision the thought of leaving him in the current nursery fills me with dread but am a little worried about making sure he feels OK about the new one.

 Any tips on transitioning?

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Luckymum xx

I'm sorry I don't have any tips on the transition but i think your'e right to move him.

My friends L.O goes to nursery and she's all but frisked picking her up! Security should be fort knox.

How about 2 days in new 1 for a few weeks then just use new one? Sorry i'm not much use!!!!!!!

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Ooh meant to say,i'm sure your LO will be happy because you'll be more relaxed! Hope it goes well,you have i'm sure made right decision x

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Thanks mummabear

 Good to have positive affirmation though - good to  know i'm not a crazy overly neurotic person - am just a little bit neurotic which is normal I think !

 Yes I think i'll be much more relaxed and comfortable so I guess it will have a big affect on LO.  Was also thinking of starting him off slowly so good to know others think going down that route is a good idea

 Thanks again x

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Luckymum xx

Your'e welcome hun,we're all neurotic when it comes to L.O'S!!!!!

We shouldn't be mums if we weren't a lil bit!  You will defo be more relaxed because you've made right choice x    Mums are never wrong!!!

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hey luckymum,

i've worked in nurseries for the last 8 years and am a qualified nursery nurse and if you want my honest opinon get him out of there if those things had cropped up in my mind even when i didn't have my baby i wouldn't reccommend anyone to take their children there.

signing in and out should be made an issue due to fire safety and ratios etc.... let alone keep an eye on the children

food that would bug me to especially when you say they have enough staff and that etc... and even if they didn't have a great number of staff then pasta and cheese sauce isn't exactly rocket science.

at all the nurseries i worked at feedback was one of the main things and we used to make sure the babies had a little book to take home each time which their keyworker filled in to let parents know how they got on and what they did throughout the day, also made sure at least one of us (staff) chatted to the parents even if it was just a hello or goodbye.

how old is your little one? does he settle well in new situations? only ask with regards to ideas for transistion

i'd take him to the new nursery at least once before he starts properly, even if he's a very sociable and easy going little boy just so he's introduced to new faces etc.... you know you can stay with him when he visits then maybe take him back for another visit and leave him for an hour, is he going to be leaving one nursery then going straight to the next one just thinking maybe good idea to have some time in between the two!!!

i think you have made the right decision, if i was in your shoes i would have done exactly the same i hope some of this helps anything else give me a shout,

take care and keep smiling remember at the end of the day you pay them for quality care for the most important person in your life and if you aren't happy he isn't going to be happy, so basically you are sacking them cause they are crap

xxxx

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Thanks BEB, sound advice!

 He's 16 months and settles fairly well I would say.  We're going straight from one to another and can't really take a break if I want to get him out of there as soon as.   He starts on the last week in June but i'm taking him in for a couple of hours for a couple of fridays before that and i'm taking some time off during his first week so that i'm around if he needs me or has any problems settling.

He's seen the nursery already and loves it - loads of different things to do and play with and he met a few of the carers, he spent about an hour with the carer that would be looking after him and seem to take to her quite well.

Yeah you're right, if I equate the service from nursery to that of food in a restaurant i'd have sent it straight back and refused to pay - so sacked it is!!!

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Luckymum xx

sounds like he'll be absolutley fine and you have made the right decision, unfortunatley like alot of things its trial and error with nurseries but hopefully now you have found the right one and can enjoy sending your son to childcare and you can enjoy goin back to work

take care x

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Thanks BEB

Yeah, would certainly be nice to worry less during the day while i'm working.... who am I kidding???  Will still worry, just maybe not quite as much

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Luckymum xx

In 2005 we had a beautiful little girl (our only child who was a real struggle to have), when she was 1 and a half we made the difficult decision to put her into nursery for a couple of days a week, mostly because we wanted her to interact with other children. We chose the nursery we did after much research, Ofsted checks etc. In 2007 when our daughter was 2 and half, she died whilst in the care of her nursery. She was found with her head trapped in the gable ends of a playhouse, hanging a few inches off the ground. by the time our precious little girl was discovered she had already passed away. Our lives have been turned upside down since.The investigation stated that Rhiya could not be acounted for for approx 25 mins by staff in the garden at the time. That was the entire duration of outdoor play, two of the three staff were in fact using mobile phones at that time, the plahouse had been modified by the nursery and not risk assessed, the staff that performed CPR on our daughter was not trained to do so...I could go on but too upsetting. Please know that I am not writting to frighten people, nurseries are not meant to be a high risk place and parents should not need to go to work worrying. If i felt that way I would have never sent my most precious child to one. I Just want a lesson to be learnt in all of this, otherwise her death would have been for nothing. Go with your instincts, I totaly agree that  experience with your own child is key, you cant take your eyes of them...something that is learnt through being a parent yourself and unfortunately isn't the case with SOME staff. I now wish that I had followed my intstict once before, or was a bit more paranoid at times, perhaps my only child would still be here if I did. I just fed off of her happiness and assumed all was ok. 

We have set up a website to get justice for our little girl Rhiya, I wont post it on here but please feel free to google it and you will come across it. 

hiya,

 Sorry, I just wanted to say (as I had to cut the last message short it only allowed me a number of characters) that once again, my intention is not to frighten people or to make people question child care as an option. I just want to share our story as I would have wanted to know if I was going through the difficlut decisions of childcare. I want to raise awareness so something so tragic doesnt ever happen again.

xx 

Shetal, Hi and thanks so much for your post.  It's heartwrenching.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of neglect and I do hope that you get the justice you deserve for your little girl.

You've made me feel 100% sure that I'm doing the right thing.  You're absolutely right, if there is the slightest of doubt in anyone's mind that their child is not receiving the best possible care and they feel they would be better off elsewhere then action MUST be taken!

I really don't care how the nursery feel about it - my child is more precious to me than anyone or anything else in the world and I have to protect him and allow him to be nurtured in the best way that I can.

I think that these days it's so important to look at offsted reports and do as much research as possible - I wonder whether the nursery you sent your little girl to is still open - I hope not but my gut tells me that it probably is.  It's such a shame that the the child care industry doesn't expect more when appointing staff and reward them accordingly.  Maybe then there would be better trained, more experienced and skilled people with more of a sense of responsibility with whom to leave our precious children.

I do hope all goes well for you and your family. xx

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Luckymum xx

Hi Luckymum,

Im affraid the nursery is still open, staff still working with children, and worse still they have re-registered their company with ofsted (although same company)allowing them to "wipe their slate clean" erasing any history prior to late 2008, including the death of my child. This is something we will not let happen and have taken this to the highest possible place to get this sorted. Parents have a right to know that a child passed away in their care, and people currently looking into that particular nursery would not know what happened there. (although most locally do)It is not currently stated on any ofsted report. So, my additional advice to you is also to cotact ofsted and ask them for all the information on a nursery you are interested in, under the freedom of information act. Please dont just rely on what you see on the public report. 

 xx

Thanks for the advice -  I think I will give offsted a ring (or else i'll always be wondering!).  Cannot be too careful xx

Thanks again.x

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Luckymum xx

Shetal, I have just read your post and just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss xx my heart is with your family.

You are so very brave to share this with other mums. x x I shall google now  x

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Hi Mammabear,

 Thanks for your message, it means a lot. Hope you manage to find it, there are so many articles that come up when you google my daughters name 'Rhiya Malin' - its the justiceforrhiya site. 

xxx

I hav been on,just sent you an e-mail hun.

It would be an honour to display a car sticker for you x x x x

Your little princess is GORGEOUS X an angel. Your web site is very informative I shall pass on the details to my mummy friends.

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Hi Shetal

Had a good look at the website this morning.  Mummabear's right, you are so very brave.  I really don't know how you cope - I can't possibly imagine what it's like for you but you have every ounce of my sympathy as a mother. 

Rhiya is such a beautiful little girl - you must miss her so much.  As you say, such a needless tradgedy. 

I have emailed you for a car sticker and plan to pass on the details of this website to the new nursery.

Thanks so much for sharing your story and for all the advice.  It must hurt like hell to relive what happened to your daughter.  It's not often that you find this kind of honesty and bravery so I thank you very much for that.  xx

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Luckymum xx

hi shetal

i just want to say how sorry i am for the loss of your daughter and agree with the others on how brave you are to be so honest and open with other parents, it made me feel sick reading the part about what happened to her with regards to the nursery, cause i have worked as a qualified nursery nurse for 8 years and can not get round the fact that it took them 25 mins to realise that she was not about, every nursery i've worked at and just me as a person was always counting and checking the children in my care and making sure i knew where each and everyone was, i just don't get it!!!

putting your chid into any form of childcare is a huge step for any parent even us in the business and even before i had my son my main concern was to make sure children and parents were happy and comfortable with the setting they had chosen and i hoped they could approach me and voice their concerns or questions about anything.

i'm disgusted to think that they are still up and running as places like that give good nurseries and childcare settings a bad name and make parents extremely nervous and reluctant to put their child into childcare.

i'm sat here now looking at my son and can not begin to imagine what pain you must be feeling because if anything happened to him my world would stop, you are an extremely brave woman and my prayers,thoughts and heart go out to you and your family.

take care

BEB X X X

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hi shetal

i've just googled the site and will be requesting a car sticker from you, also i've added the fundraising page to my facebook profile,

rhiya is a gorgeous little girl, you must miss her very much

please take care, always here if you want to talk

take care x x

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