what are the rules of contact?
ok, so you lot tell me all the time, don't talk to him unless it's about the kids, but sometimes i find my self in spots where i don't know what to do.
here's they are, can you tell me what you would do.
1. i see someone and they ask me to get ray to call them, it's important.
2. ray has a letter here that looks important
3. ray sends me a text that he was ment to send to someone else, that also looks imortant (he's half blind, does it all the time)
4. kids want to talk to him on the phone
5. kids do something for 1st time, or a school play or parents day
6. he texts to ask how the kids are
7. i'm stuck and need help with the kids cos of illness, weather, moneys/work, etc
8. i'm stuck and need him to watch the kids as i have hospital appiontments, docs, dentist, funerals
9. i want to go out with a friend and i have no baby sitters, can i ask him?
just thinking if he's going to do his "be a good dad shit" althou it probs be for a short time. should i use that to my advantage and get help when i need it? not talking about knocking about like mates, just i know there's alot of things coming up in my life and i have no help. or is this just setting me up to get hurt in some way? i don't know?
My opinion, and that's all it is, is as follows:
1-3 - you're not his secretary. Do you want to do these things for him really? By all means be civil and pass things on but if it's loads of stuff you need to get him to sort out his new phone number / address etc with the people who need to know, and certainly don't worry about texts he mis-sends!
4-9 - they're all kid related things anyway. They need contact with him, and if you can rely on him for anything then yes, you should be asking him. I think the problem would be if you get dependant on him for when you're stuck or want to go out, and he lets you all down again.
It will all shake down in the end, and become easier for you. Yes, having any contact with him, even just about the kids, is going to leave you open to be hurt so you need to get as prepared as you can be to not take things to heart.
I know it's a lot easier to say than to do!! x
i have to agree with above anything for the kids is fine but the other stuff is a deff no no otherwise you are still in that cycle of doing things for him that are now no longer your problem
good luck and take care
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thanks guys, well he was out of my life for good at one point, when he was in prison! and in that time as he was locked up, all his family helped me out, but now he's out they won't help at all, no matter how much i beg or ask them. life was easyer when he was inside beleive it or not.
i think altough he said he doesn't fancy me any more, that he think's he can come back to us at some point, i think this is why he's being awkard.
the solitcor messed up the letter too! bit peed off about that, but ray will just ignore it anyway.
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