Family Life & Relationships <
Childcare & work
06/05/2017 at 09:14
i need some advice.
I have a 5 month old due to funds I need to go back to work. I feel as though I am letting her down and really having trouble letting go of her.
furthermore, my partners mother said she would look after her while I am at work but I am uncomfortable with it. she smokes in the house and yet she won't smoke in the same room as my daughter it's on all the furniture and gets on all of our clothes when we go round there.
She has also always wanted a little girl. The other day She said to my daugther that when she has her to look after that she will do it properly which made me feel like I was a bad mum.
I dislike the women very much because of this. It has upset me and now i don't know what to do.
am I being silly or self centred?
06/05/2017 at 11:12
Smoking was my biggest no no and my FIL smoker cigars in the living room. He kept saying he'd stopped and if we paid a surprise visit you would see his mum panicking and opening windows etc. My DH said if he didn't stop then my son couldn't be watched in the house. I was back work 4 months before finishing up for 2nd mat leave and the first time we paid a surprise visit we caught him at it.
I would say you need to speak to your partner and say that if she doesn't stop smoking in the house and while looking after your daughter then she can't watch her at her house. If you really need her then say for her to come to you.
I don't trust my in laws tell me the truth now and even though I'm struggling to look after my son I will not send him up if he needs a nap as I won't have him sleep in a smokey environment.
Sorry I'm not much help, just wanted to sympathise x
06/05/2017 at 14:02
Hey, I am glad that I am Not the only one.
I dont want to go back to work, I would love to build my freelance up but we need the money.
I have tried speaking to my partner we just end up in arguments as he always defends his family and acts like I am being stupid about the matter.
06/05/2017 at 14:28
Show him the statistics about SIDS. I couldn't understand if you didn't want her to hold her and he said c'mon you're being unreasonable but she's not just having a cuddle she's looking after her for long periods of the day. She'll be sleeping in the environment as well as the smoke lying on her stuff
06/05/2017 at 16:46
I have been trying, I have mentioned it ever since I fell. He is blinded by the fact it's his mother and he grew up in that environment.
Abd as you said it's not a visit it would be from 7am-5:30pm
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