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02/01/2010 at 20:42
Happy New Year to you All
I'm not sure if I am in the right place or not!!
My husband and i have a handsome little boy called Zachary who was 4 last september and who is just recovering from this horrible gastric flu which he got on Christmas Day - not that it spoiled his fun opening the presents .
Just a brief history! Just after our DS turned one i suffered from a ruptured ovarian cyst (apparently the cyst was caused by pregnancy hormones) which led to Scepticemia and phemonia. I still suffer from stomach pains due to internal scarring which has put me off having more children as no-one can tell us if this cyst will come back - not sure i could spend another six weeks recovering with two little ones to look after or if the scarring will affect my fertility
We have now decided to bite the bullet and try for another - but i was just looking for some advice for how to get my litle one ready should we be lucky to conceive again.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
02/01/2010 at 21:40
Welcome to mfm, im laura im 21 and i have a son Jack whos 2.5 and Lola whos 1!
I dont know how much help i can be as my son was a bit young to understand much, but we kept him involved, he came to scans and heard her heart and even now when he hears a heartbeat sound he calls it baby!
We let him choose something for the baby, an item of clothes/toy/blanket or such, he was very proud to see lola wear the hat he picked. He still thouroughly enjoys choosing clothes for his baby sister and himself!
Theres also some brilliant childrens books about, this was jacks favourite, and we also really liked this although that may be a little young for your son, heres a list of some more titles!
Also in the early days jack loved being involved he loved to fetch nappies, jackets and so on, take nappies to the bin and so on, and still does help! Although sometimes it went a bit far and he wanted to breastfeed, that was interesting!!
Other than that all i can do is wish you the best of luck ttc and a happy and healthy pregnancy! xxx
02/01/2010 at 21:58
By 4 you can involve your little boy a lot more.They can help you get baby's room ready,pick out clothes and toys,maybe even select some of their own to hand down if they want to.When I had my youngest daughter my then 5 year old made a box and filled it with home made rattles,pictures,even a mobile,all of which she made at school but you could do at school if that's something your son likes doing.
With my last pregnancy we waited till after the second scan to tell the children.We were going to tell them after the first scan,but there were supposed to be problems,then there weren't and it just didn't feel safe till the second scan.Nine months is also a very long wait for a little one,and there's also the worry of how we would explain if something went wrong.I would wait to tell your son till you were past at least your first scan,until you feel secure about it,as much as you can
One thing I do remember from being a child is being told how exciting my new baby brother would be,and we'd have this wonderful baby to play with.I can remember meeting him for the first time and he just lay there,bald,sleeping,and hugely dissappointing.Much as we grew to love him,I can still remember that as my first impression at 2 years old,so I don't make too much of the someone to play with without explaining he won't do a lot at first.
02/01/2010 at 22:02
Thanks for these links, all my friends have had their kids close together - nothing more than 18 months difference and aren't sure how they could tell an inquisitive four year old. Zach has already asked if he can have a brother or sister - he has an 18mth old cousin called Molly that he adores - we call them the shadows as they follow each other around all the time . But i get the impression he was thinking that my sister in law was going to have the baby!!!!!! he does know mummy has a dodgy tummy as he can't use me as a bouncy castle like he would daddy.
He does know that babies come from their mummy's tummy as we had to explain a little bit when molly was born. When he was told they come from the mummy's tummy he turned round and asked me why i had eaten him - out of the mouths of babes
That is so funny about the breastfeeding but a friend of mine told me you can buy a breastfeeding doll - not sure how that works!
Thanks once again
02/01/2010 at 22:15
Thanks for all the tips - Michael and I have no idea where to start, we know it seems soon but just wanted to be as well prepared as we can as he notices and he hears everything!!! he heard a woman in a shop saying there was no such thing as Santa - he was furious and was asking for days to make sure he would still get santa presents.
Zach really loves getting the paint, glue, scissors and glitter out so he would really enjoy making things he also loves watching while his cousin has her nappy changed and picking clothes and toys and he is always saying that Molly can't have this or that or can't do certain things as she is still a baby - mostly when i involves his toys
02/01/2010 at 22:30
Its fantastic hes already interested in a baby and enjoys time with his cousin, that will make it so much more exciting for him, and easier for you too.
Jack has now decided he likes babies and keeps asking for one, not happening, we tell him lolas a baby and he laughs and shakes his head.
weve seen the breastfeeding doll, its a little bit weird really (not in an anti breastfeeding way i loved breastfeeding lola) but they wear a flowery top so it feeds , but a good idea in other ways!
03/01/2010 at 19:29
He's never asked me outright for a baby but he's mentioned it to daddy and grandma too!! we had Molly for a couple of hours today, bt it was a bit of a nightmare as Zach still not 100% and didn't appreciate Molly jumping all over him
I never had the joy of breastfeeding as Zach was a bit premature and didn' have much of a sucking reflex so we basically had to pour formula down him .
I've never seen the doll my friend said the feedinf system seemed weird as she couldn't figure it out at all, she thought about buying oe as she breastfeed all three of her boys and when the youngest was born her eldest kept asking questions about how she was feeding the baby but she couldn't figure out how the doll worked!!
03/01/2010 at 20:42
My son was the same, he couldnt suck at all after being early, we tried but with everything else bottles ment one less stress, Lola on the other hand sussed it in minutes and was a milk monster, then she decided to quit at 9-10mnths, which came as no suprise as she decides everything really! she wears the trousers in this house!!
Theres some pics and a video of the doll here.
04/01/2010 at 00:53
You feed the dolly from fake boobies on the outside of a special top the little girl wears.I thought it was a bit silly,to be truthful
My kids(my son did it too) just put their existing teddy or toy up their shirt.I think a lot of siblings do.That way they really are mimicking Mummy feeding the baby,if they choose to.It gives them a clear ideahow baby's being fed,that it's normal and natural,if you can do it.My kids just thought you breastfeed a baby when they're tiny,then you move on to a bottle as they get older,cos that's what we did.When I couldn't feed Merlin and he had bottles from the start they were a little confused,so we told them he was bigger to start with so he had bottles right away,which was partly true anyway.You can be quite matter of fact with a four year old without talking about things that make you uncomfortable.
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