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11/03/2013 at 17:38
My friend commented that she had bought a mother's day for her H to send to his mum, got him to sign it and then posted it herself. Otherwise he would forget. My H forgot to send his mum a card. I reminded him 3 times and then reminded him to call/text her on the day. (which he did eventually) My friend said she always sorts birthday/christmas/mother's/father's day cards/pressis for her H's family. I don't do this either - if H asked for help I would help, but I don't assume it's my responsibility to sort his family gifts out. My friend said I am mean for not doing this. Am I alone on this one? Do you sort out your H's gifts for his side of the family?
11/03/2013 at 17:43
Nope. But then we have Eff all to do with his lot.
I sorted a few bits for my exes family. If I saw a nice card or gift, i'd buy it, but then leave it up to hom to write/post etc. i didn't go out of my way to buy them things, it was literally if I saw something appropriate.
11/03/2013 at 17:47
I wouldn't say you were mean. I sort out hs gifts for his side of the family. Mil used to remind him it was Mother's Day/my birthday so he'd buy my cards. Sil got him cards for yesterday from the boys but he remembered so I ended up with loads of cards I only buy his family cards as mil would have been devastated if she didnt get a card from him (most if the time I wrote them too!)
11/03/2013 at 17:52
I don't think it's mean, you're not his PA! I don't sort my H's family's cards or presents either, I have enough of my own. I give him a nudge to start thinking about ideas but I won't actually do it all or him unless he already knows what he will be getting someone and is too busy to do it himself.
11/03/2013 at 18:00
I do organise all of these things as H isn't good at it! Doesn't make you mean at all though.
11/03/2013 at 18:03
I don't think you being mean but I do do this for my H.
Although we both work full time he does more hours/ has more pressure and there is only so much he can do/ remember so happy to help out on this one.
11/03/2013 at 18:15
I do it for my H, he'd never remember otherwise. I didn't get a mothers' day card despite reminding him for weeks. I don't think you're mean though, really it's up to him and I'm just enabling him, but it's less stressful for me to do it myself.
I don't bother remembering his brother's girlfriend's birthday... but that's because I don't like her, and my H always forgets too, so her present/card is usually late as suddenly we'll realise it needs doing. Now that IS mean of me
11/03/2013 at 18:16
Nope you are not mean. My H only has a small family anyway but its up to him he sends cards, presents etc. I roughly know when his parents birthdays are but not the actual datesbut its not my responsibility to remember.
11/03/2013 at 18:34
I'm another enabler! I do all the card/present buying and reminding, even to the point of standing over H while he writes them Drives me mad and I'd rather not bother but I know if I didn't sort them out he'd go out and spend a fortune at the last minute just to get it done and we can't really afford it. Same reason I make his lunches for work as he wouldn't bother then spend £5 every day at subway/kfc/maccy d's! Don't think you're mean at all, its their responsibility and we're the daft ones!
11/03/2013 at 18:35
Nope not mean. My H has to remember his side of the family, I do mine. We put them on our calendars.
He is good at remembering, though.
I would never consider it my job to remember for him.
11/03/2013 at 19:02
I don't think its mean. My H only buys for his mam and dad and I usually sort the cards presents out because he's rubbish at it.
11/03/2013 at 19:28
I didn't think it was mean either. I think it's his responsibility, he is an adult for goodness sake! If he asked for help then I'd help him, but I'm not going to do it for him when he is capable. I'm sure if I start doing it, it will become expected of me and become my job. Those of you who do it for your H's are very kind!
11/03/2013 at 19:35
I sort all of Hs and always have but if you never have then no its not mean.
My lovely H rang from Kenya on Thursday to ensure I posted his mom a card. Cheeky git hasn't sent me one. Not impressed!!!
12/03/2013 at 07:02
I do cards for his family as he would forget / panic buy and as E said cost more. I left his MD card on his chair 3 times and he kept moving it and eventually wrote it as we were going out of the door to see her on MD. He also wrote mine when I went into the shower as I didn't get it till 11 a.m. I never write them for him though.
He is so thoughtful in other ways but useless at cards! I love getting cards and he knows it means a lot to me but it is in his DNA to be rubbish. His Dad is the same sometimes his b'day present is 6 months late!!
12/03/2013 at 07:20
Not mean, I don't get H's cards/gifts for his side, he gets them himself (if he remembers!)
12/03/2013 at 08:01
Not at all - I wish I did the same but MIL is the kind of person who would get really upset if she didn't get a card for whatever celebration so I'd rather buy it than have to put up with the grief if H forgets!
12/03/2013 at 08:16
It's not mean. I have always taken care of cards/ presents, simply because my H would forget and I wouldn't.
12/03/2013 at 08:46
You're not mean, i have stopped doing gifts/cards etc for H's side of the family too. I was fed up of being the one who had to organise everything for him, on top of working full time, looking after the kids etc. So now if they don't get a card, it's his fault, and not mine.
12/03/2013 at 09:14
Not mean at all. I do everything for H, It's ridiculous. I literally have to go on at him to ring people on their birthdays ect. TBH I think its the last time I do it. He's rubbish at doing, dont think his family care so not sure why i put in the effort! PJ x
12/03/2013 at 09:46
I do all the cards presents in our house, always have done. I wouldn't say that you are mean, but I would remind him
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