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13/06/2013 at 19:44
I just put this on my facebook status, but H just gave the kids ice cream sandwiches for dinner - actual bread and butter with toffee sauce and vanilla ice cream in the middle. When I got home they were obviously very excited about this, and J said "Mummy you never do fun stuff like that" Gee thanks kid. This comes after the cheese and tomato milkshakes they made a while ago, and a few other 'fun' things that I would never think of, let alone let them do. And yet, when they are older, this will be the stuff they will remember won't it? The fun things they did with daddy whilst I slaved over the delicious nutritious boring stuff and put my efforts into teaching them to be good healthy citizens.
Or maybe I'm overthinking this?
13/06/2013 at 19:49
I know exactly where you are coming from... But this si the joy of being on my own - I have to be both. I do fun things but then tell them off.
13/06/2013 at 19:50
I'm not encouraging you to leave your husband btw
13/06/2013 at 20:08
No I know where you are coming from. My h does stuff like this and I go ballistic at him, my h will literally play with them all day long from the minute they open their eyes till they go to sleep yet I'm the one looking into activities, batch cooking and planning meals for when they are at the cm, etc etc, I seem to be the one who does everything parent wise whilst he gets to play!
13/06/2013 at 20:14
My H works away Mon - Fri, so I have my boys on my own alot. We mess about, I let them eat junk, but I tell them off if I need to.
13/06/2013 at 20:22
13/06/2013 at 20:31
Both here too, however I am always the voice of reason where wrestling, jumping off the couch and trampoline nonsense are concerned so I guess H might win on the fun scale slightly .....
13/06/2013 at 20:39
Voice of reason - that's exactly it Alsi, and CP my H also plays all day if he's here and I walk into the carnage! I love that he gets to do this, but I wish we could get more of a balance sometimes.
13/06/2013 at 20:44
Yes it's about balance. My h is vvvvv soft as his dad was extremely strict so he rarely tells them off, he comes to me like a child telling tales saying L did x and I get annoyed that h feels he can't discipline [and breathe]
13/06/2013 at 22:32
My H is definitely the fun one. S loves nothing more than wrestling with daddy. He's like a big kid himself. If we go to any kids parties he's like an unpaid entertainer! To be fair he is firm with S too. I'm not as fun. I take him to nice places and do more quiet activities. He definitely listens when H tells him off more than me too
14/06/2013 at 07:12
I think I'm both as is H. We both do the fun stuff and do the telling off.
14/06/2013 at 07:52
both but I am more strict than H so I feel like it's down to me to make sure he eats right, doesn't get away with naughtiness etc. H will discipline when he's run out of patience. i'm also the one who cooks and cleans and gets everything ready for the day so I don't have as much time to be the fun one as H does. I do make sure I do silly things with him though.
14/06/2013 at 08:05
I do try to do the fun stuff too but being that I'm the stay at home parent, it means that the novelty of daddy coming home that he's always the fun one. They regularly tell me to go away and that they want daddy, at the weekend we went to London Zoo and Jonah told me to go home and they both cried arguing about who had to hold my hand. Makes me feel great of course. I try not to take it personally but it can feel horrible. The thing is that I'm the one at home enforcing the rules and doing the mundane stuff so it's understandable that its how they react. Doesn't help of course. I've tried countless times asking H to make sure he's backing me up with stuff and not always making me the bad guy but I guess he's only doing what he can in the time he has.
14/06/2013 at 08:21
I'm a bit of both. My H works all week so its just me and my two year old little boy, we have fun, I take him out to see different people and places and I let him eat junk food sometimes and sometimes let him tell me what he wants for tea and I also tell him off when he needs to be told off.
14/06/2013 at 08:32
Same here, H is the more fun parent, more so with J, as J loves nothing more than playing football and H will play for hours with him where as I get bored with football, so if we go to the park I accidently forget the ball as he will just want to play football.
I agree with the others that I would like nothing better to be able to play with the kids all day but if I did that then no washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking etc would get done. When H is off work and I'm in he does nothing in the house, he will just play with J where as I can't.
I do other fun stuff with them that H doesn't do/hasn't got the patience to do, like crafty stuff, baking, board games, cinema. H likes the more physical stuff so I think we are both fun but in different ways. To be fair to him he does discipline them as well.
14/06/2013 at 08:37
oh pip that's exactly what it's like here, heartbreaking isn't it? n always has to sit next to daddy, everything daddy and is always so happy to see him. I try to tell myself it's because H works all day whereas i'm always around. does make me feel rubbish though, especially as i'm the one putting effort in to find fun things to do, traipsing round parks etc.
14/06/2013 at 09:31
Luckily, J hasn't reached the point where he only wants Daddy when he's home.
If anything, J is even more of a Mummys boy when H is home. Breaks H's heart that J would rather come to me than him, especially as he hasn't seen him all week.
14/06/2013 at 13:36
I try to be both. I think I'm better at discipline - I follow through rather than shout (but then I would say that wouldn't I )
My daughter went through a long phase of preferring daddy over me. Its dispiriting but try not to take it to heart. They will suddenly change and then the other parent becomes the bees knees all over again. When she was about 18 months or so I was the preferred parent and she didn't want daddy at all. The only way he could do bedtime was if I wasn't there or if I disappeared at around bedtime. But even then sometimes she would become so worked up that I would have to step in and do it. My H found this really hard to deal with as well. So its happened to both of us.
And, yes, they will remember the fun things. Who doesn't? But you are also providing them with the long term love, stability and care that comes with putting food on the table, doing the washing, etc, etc, etc. And they will also remember that. Even if they don't always appreciate it.
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