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09/02/2013 at 20:51
I don't really know where to start.
Academically he struggles and back when he was about 9 they did tests to see if he was dyslexic. He was borderline (but on the wrong side) and got no extra help.
He is in the bottom sets.
Give him a computer and he is an absolute whizz, he can easily make apps for apple products and not just simple ones. And this is the route he would like to follow after school.
But as far as exams go he just doesnt care. We pay £17 a week for extra maths lessons at home and have done for over 2 years.In his mocks he was given an F despite predicted grade of D. He really doesnt see the problem. I dread to think what he'd be getting if we didnt have the extra help.
Geography he got a G in his mocks but as he says thats ok as its not the lowest but he did probably get that for putting his name on the paper!
English he got an E . ICT and similar he does really well so I'm not worried about those but he really wont get far without English and Maths will he? at a C surely?
I've ranted and Ive spoken nicely. He spends alot of time doing stupid minecraft on his laptop(that he saved up to buy) We have in the past removed things like this from him but I cant help think at his age I really shouldnt be doing this kind of thing, he should be able to know what is best. The huge prob we have is that my H who has been with us since he was7 and treats him like his own son has had enough of what he terms as B taking advantage and taking the piss by saying he'll do stuff and then just not bothering so he's told him if he gets bad results and hasn't tried his best he will have to go live with his Dad (if he is seen to try hard and get bad grades he can stay) This doesnt sit right with me BUT I totally get where H is coming from as I agree he is taking the piss out of us.
I have so much to be proud of him for, He rarely backchats, well a little but never swears, doesnt hang round street corners, never in trouble. Everyone he meet says what a lovely young man he is as he really is. He's had a saturday job for 2 years and has done so incredibly well and it has done him the world of good. But I just want him to really try his hardest at school. not say hes trying and then fob me off with some crap excuse.
It isn't helped that his 13 year old bother is in the top sets for everything and is achieving way above his age. Though we try not to compare the 2 but he is aware of his brothers achievements.
Help, we have 2/3 months till those GCSE'S am I missing a trick? Do I just let him fail (to be fair I think he'll fail regardless) and act like I dont care. The thing is I do care and while he will never get A's and B's I just want him to get the best grade he can. Babies and toddlers are so much easier.
09/02/2013 at 20:57
There are only two reasons to do anything in life and that's is because of fear or passion. For me it was fear that made me do okay in my GCSE's. I was frightened of being trapped like mysister and unable to do anythign like my brother. Other kids do things because they love doign it and that passion keeps them going. Exactly what is happening with his ICT.
I think you need to tap into this. Find out exactly what he has in mind for the future and work back from that point, saying how you need to do this to achieve that. Either the fear of not achieving it or the passion of wanting to do it may motivate him.
However with only a few months to go it may be bloomin difficult to reach him and I thoroughly sympathises with your position.
09/02/2013 at 20:58
That sounds hard. I have no idea what is the 'right' thing to do. Would the offer of a monetary or other much wanted reward work if it was for working harder in English and Maths and getting better grades? I know this is bribery and not a long term strategy, but for the short term might work? You are absolutely right that these are the two most important ones, whatever you want to do in the future.
On the other hand, if he does fail, he will soon learn he will have limited options after school, and he might be more willing to go to college and work at them for what he wants to do in the future.
09/02/2013 at 20:59
He's quite mature isn't he?? Can you say to him that until exams are over then no mine craft (I have no idea what that is at all so not sure if possible ), but could you just say that you know he's trying but until the exams are finished then limited [insert activity of choice] (ie so instead of every night doing the activity he study's every night and a bit if the weekend but has chill out time too. Tell him as long as he tries the best he can then you will be happy (I think if you know he's gone in, tried his best but then still got a f/g then I don't think you can complain)
My h really infuriates me, he's vvvvv bright, a whizz with sciency things and maths, but just could not be ar5ed at his exams so got c/d/e's and just plods on but if he had tried his best and got c/d/e's then that's fine but its woukd upset and anger me more knowing he just didnt try iyswim
I dread the teenage years, don't think that Itl get easier though....you will have 2 teenage girls
09/02/2013 at 21:01
He has an interview on Friday at a local college for a course he wants to do though I fear he may not have the right qualifications to do it but maybe coming from them and not me may be more beneficial.
My MIL after me saying how H said he had to leave was more sympathetic and thinks him failing this year may be what it takes to prove to him he needs to work hard. I just dont want him wasting this time.
He's also interested in working for Cap Gemini who I believe do apprenticeships in IT. Unfortunately their open days have been and gone but I may see if someone will see him anyway as that may be the incentive he needs.
I agree though a few months to catch up is going to be so hard if not impossible.
09/02/2013 at 21:08
Catarina, I had offered a monetary reward but he earns a fair bit with his little job that I'm not sure it really is incentive enough. I had also thought of making him give up his job but in some ways it has done him the world of good that I just dont think it wouuld be the right thing.
CP in some ways yes he is mature but in others he's not. An minecraft is just some stipid virtual world where you build stuff and have a little world of your own, I don't get it att all.!!!!
I do try and make him do at least an hour homework a night but short of sitting next to him the whole time I can't do much more than that. He thinks 15 mins of homework is ample and that would be on a subject he finds easier.
Honestly, he isn't trying hard at all. I do frequently say to him he just needs to try his hardest but he seems to think that if he rushes work then thats the best. He doesnt get it that do it slowly and maybe not complete work but at least get what you've done right.
09/02/2013 at 21:09
And thatnks CP for reminding me I have to do it all again with the girls lol. I'm hoping that Jack will just sail through giving me no problems.
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