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26/11/2013 at 12:51
My daughter who is in Y1 tends to be quite shy unless at home or in places she's comfortable in/people she's comfortable with. she's been saying lately she has no one to play with on the playground. she's not one to approach a group as she's too shy but if she's included she will play and have fun. I went by the school this morning to check if she was exaggerating and saw her sitting alone on a bench, near to tears. the playground staff were playing with groups of kids but it made me sad that she was sat on her own. I've done playdates with other children but it seems like the girls have been picking 'best friends' recently and she doesn't have one. I noticed several of these 'best friends' pairings were playing together. I don't think she is intentionally being left out, I think she is liked by the other children but b/c she is quiet and isn't very pushy I think they often just forget about her unless she's right in front of them IYSWIM. in the classroom she's supposedly well behaved and talks to the other children but I think she just gets overwhelmed with the masses of kids on the playground and if she doesn't walk out with someone she doesn't feel confident to ask someone to play. Should I say something to the teacher? is there anything I can do to help?
26/11/2013 at 13:00
what a shame. I'd ask the class teacher how she is in class, if there are any children she is socialising inside class with (where perhaps the play is less over whelming) and try and nurture those friendships. At my son's school they have a buddy bench where you can go and sit if you are feeling lonely and the play leaders can help. Not sure how it works in practice. Maybe ask the class teacher to let the lunch time supervisors to keep an eye out and get her included. friendships, especially girls, are such a difficult thing.
26/11/2013 at 13:08
Thanks Carole, yes I'm worried about the girl friendship thing I know the girls in my son's class are starting to get really cliquey and I'm worried if she struggles now it will only get worse. There are some really lovely girls in her class and I really dont think its intentional but I do want her to get more confident and have some more solid friendships so if in future she does have issues with some other girls she at least has some friends to rely on.
26/11/2013 at 13:16
do they do any after school activities like ballet or sports that she can do with these girls?
26/11/2013 at 13:24
they don't have anything after school until they are older but she does do gymnastics with a couple of girls and she does play with them there. she does have playdates at ours and gets invited back but the girls have someone else as their 'best friend' so when it comes to playtime they choose that girl instead. will try to catch the teacher tomorrow after I speak to her and see how the other playtime went today. thanks x
26/11/2013 at 13:52
Things like this make me feel so sad. I don't really have any suggestions, but I hope things pick up for her soon. It breaks my heart to think of little girls being left out.
26/11/2013 at 14:11
Oh KC that is so sad to read. I really worry about things like this because Louie is very shy and like your daughter won't push to the front to be seen. He has friends and plays well with others but I have a feeling he will be a bit of a loner at playtimes. Even now he has told me a few times none of the boys played with him because they don't like him anymore
I'd definitely speak to the school because they should have some kind of buddying system in place - I thought it was common practice these days. Also speak to the teacher so they can speak to the playground assistants. Also maybe tell your daughter it's OK to ask to play with the other children, she doesn't have to wait to be asked.
27/11/2013 at 06:45
Agree with the others, I would speak to the teacher about it and also say you went past at break time to see for yourself. Hopefully like the others have said they will have a buddy system in place and I would also speak to your daughter and tell her it's ok to go and start playing with the others that she doesn't have to wait to ask. Hope it gets sorted for you both, x
27/11/2013 at 12:05
Thanks ladies for the replies. Sorry to hear that Belle, its hard b/c kids who are outgoing don't understand why the shy ones hold back, and then the shy children think they aren't liked. My daughter has said plenty of times she doesn't think people like her, but then the next day she's had a note from someone or had a lovely time playing with a few girls and everything is OK again. I think she just worries about things a lot, I remember being like that.
After I left her teacher asked her what was wrong and who she wanted to play with, she said she didn't know, and then she said that he left. I don't know if that is accurate, but another girl came up to her and invited her to play. the school has never been very good about dealing with playtime issues, I will see how the rest of the week goes and if it continues will have a word with her teacher.
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