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09/12/2014 at 13:27
Hi ladies! I haven't been in here for almost a year!! our son will be one in 4 weeks, and we want another baby, we just don't know when is the best time?! We have already realised I will have to leave work, because let's face it, who would babysit a young child and a newborn?! Haha what age gap has worked for eveyone? It scares me imaging having a newborn and a toddler but others say it's easy! Any advice or personal stories are much appreciated! Xxx
09/12/2014 at 14:01
Hi demii and welcome back to MFM! I wanted to reply, as I often wondered this and in retrospect would have done things differently. I have a 5 year old and 1 year old. Looking back, I wish I'd had them closer together, but I had to keep my job, get maternity benefits again (which meant going back to work for a certain amount of time before I'd qualify for mat leave - I wasn't working at MFM by the way!)So if I could do it again, i'd like to have had a much smaller age gap. I'm sure there's loads of pros and cons, like my 5 year old helps with the baby (helps/hinders, it's a fine line!) but I really want them to be close, and growing up that age gap might get in the way. Good luck whatever you decide to do!
09/12/2014 at 14:18
I'm curious about the replies on this too. I have a 4 month old and would like another baby at some point. My brother and I are 2.5 years apart and played a lot when we were kids and get along well as adults...so that seems like a good age gap. I'm thinking maybe even closer together then that...but I'm torn. I too worry about having a toddler and an infant at the same time.
09/12/2014 at 15:28
I can only part answer this as I'm currently 30 weeks with my second so have no experience of having them both at the minute...
But what I would say is that for me personally I couldn't entertain the idea of having our second before my son was about 2. I found it too demanding just trying to juggle him and a home and a job without adding any more complications.
But I'd say between 2-2.5 was when he suddenly blossomed into a little boy and things became much easier. (communication was the key for us, as soon as the speech improved, the tantrums and issues subsided).
So we started trying when he was about 2, but mother nature is a monkey and it took us a year to conceive, so our actual age gap will be just over 3.5 years. I have to say that it's awesome he's a bit older. He's so excited. He talks to and about his "baby sister" all the time (we are a yellow bump though!) and is really involved. I just know when baby arrives he'll want to help.
So for us I'm hoping 3.5 will be just right
28/12/2014 at 20:38
I am an only child and only have one child so difficult to say anymore from personal experience however the many examples i have come across, ie family and friends have shown me that the gap may not be too much the issue but the support available such as a grandparent or parents siblings for example. Ofcourse the discipline required with two children is testing although the rewards all round are a win/win.
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