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16/09/2009 at 12:14
Hi Ladies, I haven't been on for a while with one thing and another but I need to talk about this.... I am now 12 weeks pregnant and we went for our first scan on Monday. We were called from the waiting room and jumped up on the bed in excitement anxious to see my baby. There was a tiny cashew type shape on the screen and the sonographer said I must be only about 8weeks. I thought that was strange coz I was certain of my dates. She had only just qualified and had to use a probe to get a closer look but needed to get a 2nd opinion coz she wasn't very experienced with that piece of equipment. Then came the words - "There is a baby but there is no heartbeat. Sorry but your baby died around 7-8 weeks." I have had a missed miscarriage. I don't know what to feel, just empty and numb. I am devastated, I was so desperate for this baby. I know it's quite common but as I had no bleeding or pain, I was so totally unprepared for it. I have to go back to hospital on Monday for another scan just to make certain it isn't viable and then I have to have it taken away from my body. I would love to hear from anyone who has been through miscarriage and how you got through it.
16/09/2009 at 13:00
16/09/2009 at 13:06
16/09/2009 at 13:15
16/09/2009 at 13:21
Lewie,my heart goes out to you,and your family.
I have not been throgh this but,I agree with the advice given from the other brave mums on here,talk about it,be honest with your partner,and together you will get through this. x x x
17/09/2009 at 19:26
Im so sorry to hear of your loss. The same thing happened to me about 4 years ago. I was pregnant with my second child and I remember I was out shopping with my mum one day (I was about 7 weeks pregnant) and I was looking for a wedding outfit for my best friends wedding. I remember casually saying to mum that it was funny but I didn't really feel pregnant this time around - I meant that for a few days I hadn't been feeling the usual symptoms I had the first time around.
I never thought anymore about it, but about 2 weeks later I had a slight show and went up to the hospital. I saw the little peanut shape on the screen just like you, but the doctor said there was no heart beat. It was a missed miscarriage and they said it had happened about 2 weeks before. After a number of scans over the next few days, I miscarried naturally about 4 days later.
Nothing prepares you for something like that, because at the end of the day no matter how many weeks you are, its still your baby that you have lost. Luckily I managed to get pregnant fairly quickly again after that and I had a beautiful baby boy, but I'll never get over that loss. I don't think anyone really does, you just get on with things and honestly, it might be hard to believe now, but you will feel better. I agree with all the other ladies make sure you have a good cry about it, but most importantly talk to someone close about it and especially to your other half, as he has lost a baby too. I'll be thinking of you. Take care.
17/09/2009 at 20:59
Sorry to hear about your news. I also had a misscarriage last year. I was in my final year of university and had taken time off from work to prepare my final exams when 2 days before my first exam I started bleeding. We went to hospital and they did some test, the following day we got the phone call to tell us that I was misscarrying. It felt really bad because both of us were planning from that baby since Christmas (it happened in April).
My boss and friend at work was very nice and I could talk with him. He had been in t same situation but at the end his marriage broke as a result of him not to expressing his feelings about it. He gave me the best advice and was to talk it through with my partner as he had also lost a baby. As a result the misscarriage made us stronghest as a couple. The good news as a lot of other mothers is that I got pregnant 6 months after and now I have a beauiful baby girl that is 6 weeks and growing.
In my last pregnancy I found very difficult not to think about my previous misscarriage but they did an early scan at 7 weeks to reasure us that everything was fine. To be prefectly honest it was all the time in my mind during the pregnancy but my partner was very supportive and helped me a lot to stop worring so much.
At the time I didn't have time of thinking about the misscarriage because I ad to concentrate in my exams but when I got the results I couldn't stop crying. I didn't fail and since I have a degree but it remind me everything that happen before the exams and it was very difficult. I think it lasted a couple of weeks but with the support of my partner and friends you can go through anything. We women are strong and can cope with more things that we think.
Hope you feel better soon, even though you may not believe it at the moment. You will get through and will have fantasic children in the near future. They did advice me to wait 3 months before trying for a new baby after a misscarriage but they also say that once your period has come you can start trying again.
Take care and talk talk and talk with your partner, you will get through together. xxx
17/09/2009 at 22:37
Sorry to hear your sad news.
I had a miscarriage 11 years ago now.I was nine and a half weeks and what started as just spotting got heavier over the course of a weekend and I lost our first baby.It's not something I like to talk about too much because it was such a horrible experience.I lost way too much blood in hospital,due to negligence and it's only thanks to my Mum who knew what was happening cos she's a nurse that I'm here now.What I remember about the experience was a vague awareness of a scene out of casualty with me in the middle and doctors panicking and ending up on a gynae ward surrounded by Mums who were celebrating Mothers Day that day and I'd just lost my baby.I didn't deal with it very well,I didn't talk to anyone about it,and I don't do crying in front of people.Darren and I talked about it once,he made a clumsy maybe it's for the best comment,so I pretended to agree with him,and never discussed it again.It was completely the wrong way to deal with it and probably made it all much worse,and while it's something I think about every day I can never talk with anyone about it and that's wrong.
Even though it was early in your pregnancy your baby was still your baby.It's important to grieve,it's important to talk with your partner.That's what I should have done.He's lost a baby too,you need each other
While no baby can ever replace the one you lost I do know at least two ladies (on another forum)who have fallen pregnant the very next month after miscarriage.Both are due in the next couple of months.I knew I didn't want to get to my baby's due date without being pregnant again,and I was pregnant 5 months after the miscarriage.My 2nd pregnancy was healthy,straightforward and Harry's 10 now,followed by another 6.
Helen's right,you don't forget,but you get through.Take care.It will feel better.
21/09/2009 at 18:27
I would like to say thanks so much for all the advice and support girls.
We have been back to hospital today to have it confirmed that the pregnancy is not viable. I was so prepared for today after last weeks shock. The baby has died and is shrinking but my uterus is still growing as it thinks I am still pregnant so I have this rather large bump but nothing to show for it!!! I am feeling much better since last week although I don't think I will ever get 'over it'. After all the great advice I have been given from my online sisterz and other people I have spoken to about it, I decided at the last minute that I couldn't go through with the D + C and have decided to just let nature take its course. I should miscarry in the next week or so which I have been warned will not be a pleasant experience. Hopefully I should be back at work next week and will get back to some kind of normality. Luckily we have managed to keep this from our 6yr old daughter cause if she knew it would break her heart too, she is so deperate for a little brother. The only problem is my parents were away on holiday when all this happened and we had kept the pregnancy a secret, so I have to go and tell all to them tonight. Not looking forward to that. I have named my little angel "Ellis". We hoped it would be a boy. Knowing he is there when I need to talk to him is of great comfort to me.
Looking forward, I hope to be pregnant again before Ellis's due date and will hopefully be trying again soon after I miscarry (whether he knows about it or not!!!). I have to stay positive.
22/09/2009 at 21:39
Glad you are being positive,yes you have to be. Good luck in breaking your sad news,and hope you are expecting again soon.
You probably will never 'get over it',you don't have to,just stay as positive as you are x x
24/09/2009 at 21:34
24/09/2009 at 21:36
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