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19/12/2013 at 09:49
You all know the history with my family, well this year is the first in 7years we aren't having my parents over Christmas Day. H has text this morning saying he's only thinking of me, would like to invite mum dad and bro for Christmas Day he says he's being a bit selfish by saying they can't come.
My sister I coming for the Day and has asked that mum and dad don't come. I'm now stuck on what to do. I've text mum to see what her plans her Christmas so will see what she says but I don't know what to do.
So I text mum yesterday this is how it went:
Me: What are your plans for Xmas? xx
Mum: At home
Me: That's it? Nothing else planned? xx
Mum: Why have I missed something?
Me: No I'm just asking what you plans are for and over Christmas? xx
Mum and brother are coming to us Christmas Day. I spoke to her Saturday and felt so sad when she said they would be at home just the two of them because my dad's working so h just said tell them to come over. So Weekend has consisted of numerous phone calls from mum to my sister and I driving us mad about food and drink and presents! I'm looking forward to it though, K said it wouldn't be Christmas without us getting nanny drunk
19/12/2013 at 09:57
Knowing a bit about your family, I would stick with your original plans and just have your sister over. Does your sister speak to your mum ad dad?
19/12/2013 at 09:59
Actually, do you want them there?
19/12/2013 at 10:20
I don't know SW. I do and I don't. I do cos it's Christmas you should be with family, I don't because she might cause tension and after a few drinks we argue. Just spoke to my sister and she wasn't funny at all just said it's up to us. However mum did go there last night was there 3hrs didn't once play with the kids, but was ranting about how we've not invited her this year despite every year she's cooked the meat for us and we've clearly got a problem with her.
19/12/2013 at 10:35
I think I would be inclined to stick with plans already made. Either way someone is going to be unhappy with the plans?
Could it be an option to invite them over Boxing Day or something?
19/12/2013 at 10:52
Yeah we may go down that route, will see what her plans are
19/12/2013 at 11:02
I was going to suggest visiting them Christmas morning or boxing day. Did you tell her why she wasn't invited? Would she listen or would it be lost on her?
19/12/2013 at 11:07
Oh I dunno, that is a dilemma. Are you speaking to her properly?
19/12/2013 at 11:35
Jeez Belle, I always say this but you could be talking about my mum. Rushed reply as heading out but try to separate what you "should" do from what you want to do. Your parents have each other, it's not like they'll be alone. And they wont add anything to your day. My mum moans constantly about all of us but as far as i'm concerned, she deserves to be cut out of our lives completely and the fact that I visit her at all satisfies my daughterly responsibilities as far as i'm concerned. we could never satisfy her, ever, bar giving her every last penny we have for fags and booze and being at her (drunken) beck and call. Christmas day is about my own family now.
19/12/2013 at 11:39
Aw CV that's so sad to read but yes you're right. The fact she was ranting just says it all really, she would turn up with an attitude. I don't want a sad Christmas this year - I'm always fire fighting between my husband and them, him watching his tongue because they are with us winding him up. No thanks ever. I feel sorry for my brother btu he really needs to grow a back bone and as you've said I have my own family now.
19/12/2013 at 12:14
Belle you have your plans and if you are happy I would stick with them, you have H and the girls to think about to if there is tension will it really be worth having eveyone together?
I would suggest a meal or just drinks and nibbles christmas eve or boxing day, just because it isn't christmas day doesnt mean it isn't special and I bet your H and you would find it easier to deal with any ranting if you know christmas day will be hassel free.
Do what you want not what you think you should do
19/12/2013 at 12:22
Definitely do what suits you and your family best, by family I mean you, your H, and your kids. It sounds like the best thing for your family would be for your parents to not come Christmas Day.
19/12/2013 at 13:06
I'd stick to your existing plans. She can't act the way she does, and expect to be included.
19/12/2013 at 16:25
Stick to your plans, you've been really excited about it - you don't want to spend the day on edge and stressing.
Make boxing day plans with your mum x
19/12/2013 at 16:32
I'd stick to your plans. Especially given that you and your H have had a tough time recently. This will remove one tension. This is the same mum who couldn't let her daughter use her spare room when she was homeless isn't it? You hardly want to sit in a room with everyone but your mum holdng their tongue.
20/12/2013 at 09:18
20/12/2013 at 11:20
Hmm, what are you going to respond now? Are you keeping your plans as they were? x
20/12/2013 at 12:03
If she's behaving like that then I would stick with your original plan. Sounds like there could be a bit of an atmosphere if she does go to yours.
20/12/2013 at 12:53
I agree with SW, sounds like she will spoil your Xmas if she goes to yours
20/12/2013 at 14:39
Stuff her, if she's not going to even make the effort to discuss it stick to your original plans xx
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