I'm not well at the moment anyway so feelings fairly blurred, but jsut not sure what I am supposed to feel if anything. I want to contact my youngest brother but we haven't been in touch for over ten years properly. When he was little he was like my own child and I raised him for a bit and my Mum used to find it hilarious that he often called me Mummy. But it was also the same with my sister and she is still very angry and bitter with me *I think because I left them behind and didn't take them with me when patently there was room in my home for them but Ex refused for what seemed very logical reasons at the time.

I must of missed something, what's happened?

If you want to contact him can you do so via email or fb or something? If it makes you feel better then def make contact. Hopefully now that everyone is older they'll understand why you did what you did?

SW - I found out this morning that my step-dad had died on Jan 2nd. He had been ill for a while and no-one bothered to tell me until a week after he had died. He had been apparently talking about me quite a bit but I haven't been in touch with him for a very long time out of respect to my youngest sister.

WE- sister is still bitter about it all so wasn't sure why younger brother wouldn't be.

Have told my eldest brother and he said he couldn't stand the man and doesn't know how to feel about it either.

Oh I'm sorry to hear that x

If you want to contact him then do so. If he's angry then at least you know that you've tried. And don't assume that he'll feel the same as your sister - still angry for something that happened years before.

Things were clearly a mess in many ways for your family but remember that this was not your fault it was the fault of the adults around you.

Thank you Cedar. What would you suggest saying to him? I am really pants at this

Something along the lines of 'xx has told me today (dad) has died. I wondered how you were' or something else quite short.

Have done that, thank you. He has read it but not responded.

I'm sorry for your loss QI, and for all the issues it's stirred up for you x