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11/03/2013 at 21:46
If someone did this to you would you find it very rude?
Background.... my cousin is getting married in Canada in July. Although we are all invited we have decided if anyone of us were to go it would be just me. Part of this reason would be cost/long haul flights and what would the children get out of it (holiday) at such a young age. Plus A is still at school. It is 2 weeks before she finishes. The wedding is on a Thursday(starts at 5pm) which would mean me flying out either the Monday or Tuesday and then back at the weekend. This would obviously mean H taking the week off work (self employed) to do childcare. I have been undecided about this since they set a date last September. Even for myself to go it would be a lot of money. It also wouldn't really be a holiday for me. I have also been to this part of Canada (including a 3 month stay) several times, so I 'know' all the sights.
I met with her sister, who lives here in London, last week and she mentioned that they were having the 'stagette' (her phrase not mine) early July in Las Vegas. They are flying in on a Thursday or Friday for the weekend. I am so tempted to do this rather than the wedding. Is this really naughty of me? Childcare would be a lot easier. I normally work on a Thursday and H has the kids (I will have finished for the summer the week before) and I would love to go back to Las Vegas. I have been before I met my H but he has no interest in going there at all.
How would you feel if someone did this to you?
11/03/2013 at 21:53
Honestly, yes I would find it rude.
If her stagette had been in the UK I wouldn't have thought it but if I was the bride I would think great you can afford to come to Las Vegas and have fun because it suits you but you can't be bothered to put yourself out for my wedding.
Really sorry if that sounds harsh but that's just how I would feel if I was the bride.
11/03/2013 at 21:55
If it was me I wouldn't be bothered at all. I would be happy to see you whenever/wherever you could make it. I am pretty laid back about things like this so not sure if this would be a normal reaction or not. What is she like? How do you think she would feel about it?
11/03/2013 at 22:00
You're not rude Dust as this is how I ultimately feel about it. Even if there is a little naughty part of me that is tempted!
I just can't get my head around it being practical(mainly childcare) for me to attend the wedding. I would rather keep the money and go on a family holiday there in a few years time when the children are older. I do feel bad though as I attended her sister's wedding out there a few years ago. However, I was pregnant with A and we had no childcare to sort.
11/03/2013 at 22:01
AlsiT- my cousin is so laid back I actually think she would be fine if I did this!
I think AlsiT's questions are good. It doesn't really matter what we think. How well do you get on with her? Could you speak to her about it and gage her reaction.
11/03/2013 at 22:03
I would! I was invited to a hen do but not a wedding a few years back!!
11/03/2013 at 22:54
It wouldn't bother me, but like AlsiT I'm really laid back about things like that. Could you not just ask her outright if she would be bothered? Give her your reasons why and see what she days. It's such a long way to go to either so if it were me I'd be chuffed that you would make the effort to go to either one.
12/03/2013 at 04:31
I had a few people who couldn't make it to my wedding who still came on the hen do. I saw more of them there than I would have done on my wedding so that was good!
I think if you look at it as you can't go to the wedding (it's not impossible but it's not really practical) then I think it's fine. But then I'm seeing this as an old married, as we all know wedding planning can do strange things to your logic!
12/03/2013 at 07:30
I wouldn't find it rude. 2 friends came to my hen do but couldn't make our wedding. I was happy that they could at least celebrate one of them with me.
12/03/2013 at 08:18
I'd talk it over with your cousin. And I'd probably go to Vegas!
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