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19/04/2013 at 09:30
Last Thursday E asked if she could sleep at her friends house, I said no because I was at work the next day and she was at my mams, she asked again on the Friday and I said no because her cousins were sleeping on the Saturday so I didn't want her to have a late night Friday.
Some of you may remember, its the girl who lives 2 doors down who's parents both died?
Last Tuesday E was giving her friend a knock and came back to say there was a lady who wanted to speak to me. It was a Doctor who had been called out to the house for E's friends sister but when the doctor got there, no one was in, she was worried so opened the door, looked around and no one was in. She said she had to get back to the surgery so could I keep an eye out. She said there was a bunch of keys in the back door and maybe they had a front door key on so could I try that.
I went in to get the keys out of the back door and I was shocked by the state of the house. The floors look like they haven't been swept, washed or hoovered since the mother died last June. The benches, surfaces, table was minging, looked like they had never been wiped down, there were dishes everywhere, dirty clothes everywhere and it smelt awful. I dread to think what upstairs is like
So I definately don't want E sleeping there. So what do I say to her when she asks again, cos I know she will??????
19/04/2013 at 09:36
Could you not have this girl to stay at yours? Lauren has a friend whose house is similar to this which I would not let her sleep round but her friend is welcome to ours. this particular girl is one of 5 children and there is also 4 dogs in the house, it is disgusting plus since the little brother openly swears in the street (at 6!) I didn't really want Lauren in that environment. Lauren went for tea once, hated it and came home early!
19/04/2013 at 09:40
CW I had thought of that but I the girl prefers people to be at hers, I don't think she likes sleeping out, although I wouldn't mind her sleeping at ours. If I did do that I know for a fact that E would then say why couldn't she sleep at her friends and I don't know how long I could put her off.
E doesn't seem to be bothered about the fact that the house is minging, she'll quite happily play in it.
19/04/2013 at 09:44
kids do not see these things like we do, do they? it wasn't until Lauren was about 12 that she decided this girls house was off the visit list. Could you sit down and talk honestly about it to E? or do you think she would tell the friend? who is looking after the friend now?
19/04/2013 at 09:51
I remember going into a girls house who lived down the street when I was about 10 and her house was disgusting so I refused to go back into it, so I don't know how E doesn't see the difference in her friends house but I suppose it doesn't bother kids as much as us.
I'd rather not mention it as they often fall out and they can be quite bitchy to each other and I don't want that to come out. I think I could trust E not to say anything to the girl but if she tells some of the other girls who play in the street and they can be pretty mean to her, I have heard other kids teasing her about her mam and dad being dead
Her mam's ex husband is her guardian.
19/04/2013 at 11:45
Oh and the older sisters boyfriend stays over and I don't like either of them.
19/04/2013 at 11:50
Could you say something along the lines of child's family have too much on their plate at the moment, they can't have another child staying over. You don't want to bother said family with having E there. (Of course this will only work if the step dad hasn't already said its OK to E).
19/04/2013 at 11:59
Too late Cedar, he has said she could stay over and another one of the girls who lives a couple of blocks away has slept over a couple of times.
19/04/2013 at 12:19
Sorry, I haven't been here for ages!!! Who is actually caring for this little girl? Do you think they are coping?
19/04/2013 at 12:40
Louise, the mam's ex husband is looking after her. Yes I think he is coping fine with her but the house is just a pig sty.
19/04/2013 at 19:17
God, I'm running out of excuses
E's just come in and asked if she can go out for the day with said friend and her sister to the beach. The sister is 17 or 18 but I wouldn't trust her to look after herself never mind my child. I've told E that she can't as we have stuff to do and its her nanna's birthday and she needs to go and see her. HELP!!!!
19/04/2013 at 21:10
How old is E? Can you just say no and if she says why just say "because I said so?"
19/04/2013 at 21:34
She's 9. I'd rather give her an explanation even if it is a lie ha ha.
19/04/2013 at 22:31
I had a similar situation with C. I was straight to the point, and said I didn't want him staying somewhere that wasn't clean.
I did lie a bit to the Mum of C's friend, and said that because of how prem he was, his immune system is weaker than other kids...
19/04/2013 at 22:33
Thanks AK I think I might just have to tell her the truth.
19/04/2013 at 22:35
At their age, truth is best I think.
20/04/2013 at 07:41
Blimey - I really wouldn't know where to start and hate the thought of havign to deal with this sort of situation in the future, my condolences!
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