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29/05/2013 at 09:03
A friend text me to say happy birthday this morning. She's a very old friend from primary and secondary school and although we don't see each other much now (she lives in Birmingham), we still get on very well. She's single with a very high flying career and tonnes of money. She makes no secret of the fact she hates her job and all she wants is to get married and have babies. She's planned her whole wedding, heavens help the bloke she does end up with as he won't get a look in
So she texts to say happy birthday, have a nice day, hope P is well etc. I reply to say thanks and put 'last year in my 20s *sob* getting old!'. She responds with 'Atleast you are married with a baby, how do you think the rest of us feel approaching 30 with none of that? Perhaps you should be more grateful'.
Now i'm a bit taken aback tbh! Not sure how to reply without sounding rude and/or patronising!! I'd like to say something rather than leave it at that!!
Also i'm not sure how i've ever gievn the impression i'm not grateful for H and P and happy with my life?!
What would you write?!
29/05/2013 at 09:10
She is obviously feeling desperate and very sorry for herself ATM. I'd just send a simple "I in no way implied I wasn't". Short and brisk, don't explain yourself you didn't warrant getting that message. And massive happy birthday xxxxx
29/05/2013 at 09:12
Oh AR, that's a hard one. I have friends who I know envy our lifestyle as they are approaching or have already hit 30 and haven't found Mr Right yet. Be sensitive, I know it's a bit of a harsh message but she's probably having a down day. Agree with QS, short and simple xx
29/05/2013 at 09:14
I agree with QS. Is it possible she meant it in a jokey way? Often it's hard to read someone's intention when it's a text message/email. If not, sounds like she's going through a bit of a tough time at the moment, I wouldn't take it too personally if I were you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Woah talk about bitter and twisted. Do as qs said, don't ramble a justification, just keep it short simple and not rude.
29/05/2013 at 09:20
Yep what QS said
29/05/2013 at 09:22
I'd be really hurt if someone sent me a message like that especially on my birthday, hopefully it's meant in a jokey way. I've no idea how I'd respond, probably apologising etc, but QS's response is much better than anything I'd think of.
Happy Birthday xx
29/05/2013 at 09:59
I'd send a snappy msg back, but i'm in a bad mood. Doing what QS suggested would be better.
29/05/2013 at 10:21
See I wouldn't reply.
29/05/2013 at 10:37
I just wouldn't reply either. I would try to give the benefit of the doubt and think she meant it as a joke (albeit a sour one) but I'd be very upset x
29/05/2013 at 10:39
I would just try to forget about it. Text messages can so often be taken in the wrong way. Possibly she has a severe case of broodiness and really envies you - I know how that feels, to look longingly at every pregnant lady you see.
Just ignore it and move on and most importantly, have a great birthday xx
29/05/2013 at 10:45
I wouldn't reply (because if I did I know I'd be snippy!) Happy birthday!! X
29/05/2013 at 10:46
I wouldn't reply either - if you do send a message back she could take it the wrong way. Sounds like she is insanely jealous of you and let it slip out. I would actually feel quite sorry for her but I would just let it lie.
29/05/2013 at 11:00
I would reply with, I know, I'm a very lucky lady! :)
29/05/2013 at 11:06
I wouldn't reply either. I'd take it that she's having a bad day.
Happy Birthday though x
29/05/2013 at 11:32
I wouldn't reply, as you may risk getting another nasty message, just rise above and forget it. Don't let it spoil your day. Happy birthday!
29/05/2013 at 11:51
i'd reply with a torrent of abuse because im so friendly.
i would say "i'm not ungrateful. my family are awesome. off for cake now :)"
29/05/2013 at 15:43
Sorry for the slow response ladies. Been out for a birthday lunch. I sent her a friendly message on fb basically just briefly saying don't worry i appreciate them lots. And said hope i'd see her soon etc. If it hadn't been for the 'perhaps you should be more grateful' bit i'd think she was joking. But i know she probably wasn't. She openly admits she's desperate to get married and have babies, including to every man she meets. Which i don't think helps her cause as most go running!!
29/05/2013 at 17:44
Sounds like you took the right approach. If it had been me I'd probably not have mentioned being grateful (that's a given surely & she'll know that) but just say hope you're ok and you know where I am if you want a chat. Whilst her comment wasn't needed I do feel a bit sorry for her. I hope you had a lovely birthday lunch.
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