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I have no idea what to do :'(

Chat < General Chat, Products & Comps < General chat

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  • illy snow
    illy snow

    19/11/2012 at 02:21

    PM
    I found out I'm pregnant, roughly 8 - 10 weeks I've been told. I was really happy and excited. Instantly my boyfriend dreaded it....he wanted an abortion right away but I couldn't and still can't bring myself to do it. I know it's 'nothing' but it's a baby in my eyes and my baby no matter how long into the pregnancy. He's said I have to move out if I don't do it. Now I've been with him for 2 years, were both unemployed, living in a flat together. If I don't do it both me and my baby are on the streets with no where to live and no money at all. I love my boyfriend to bits I really do....but I don't know if I could go through it. I can't live at my mum, she has no room nor does my dad and they both told me this. All my friends live with parents still so I can't stAy with them....I'm clueless what to do. I would love to stay with my boyfriend be happy and for this to of been planned at a better time, but I can't if I can't abort my baby which I cant do....but I'm a horrible Mum if I start its life off from nothing or on the streets Also I'm scared when it's born I'll be an awful mum cause I'm on my own, I have no idea what to do..I'm just so worried.....
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  • mummy22littlegirls
    mummy22littlegirls

    19/11/2012 at 08:00

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    Have you gone to your locial housing office to see if they can but you in a mother and baby unit? If you can't abort your baby don't do it as you could regret it for the rest of your life. And just because your a single mum won't make you a bad mum, I have lots of single mum friends and they do a great job x
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  • mummy22littlegirls
    mummy22littlegirls

    19/11/2012 at 08:02

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    P.s if your boyfriend would throw you out on the streets, he is not worth bothering with x
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  • Sid89
    Sid89

    19/11/2012 at 10:44

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    When I first told my boyfriend he suggested an abortion, he was in absolute shock and didn't feel able to provide and care for a child!!! Speak to him openly about the realities of it, ask him to discuss things with men who have children (that was the turning point for my boyfriend when he heard its the best thing they ever did) hopefully he will come around!!! And if he doesn't, you need to seriously consider what is best for you and your baby, no one would judge you either way. There are resources out their for young single mums, you wouldn't be on the streets! Or you may decide to wait a few more years, it's up to you!!! In my personal opinion though, if he doesn't support your decision to keep if, if you do, then he isn't worth your time, he needs to take responsibility as hard as it may be. Best of luck to you
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  • carioke
    carioke

    19/11/2012 at 10:53

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    The fact of the matter is he got you pregnant so now has to grow up and deal with the consequences!! would he really throw you out on the street??  I feel so sorry that your family are not being very supportive. You really need to start looking after yourself now and you need to get some advice about your options if you are going to go through with this on your own!   I wish you lots of luck xx

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  • KazzieM
    KazzieM

    19/11/2012 at 12:10

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    Hi Illy Snow, having been where you are & having listened to my 'then boyfriend' I can tell you exactly what it is like to abort a pregnancy & it is not the easy way out that boys/men imagine.

    The fact you are already doubting you can go through with it is enough cause not to.  If you have no 'medical' need to abort you will likely need a private abortion which will cost you a large amount of money alongside the emotional heartache.  You will need to speak to counsellors to confirm you understand what you are doing & are happy 'YOU' have decided to go through it (NOT your BOYFRIEND/FAMILY).  The memory will stay with you & you will need to disclose the information during future pregnancies as part of your 'history'.

    If your boyfriend truly can't bring himself around to living with you & your baby you should talk to your local citizans advice bureau (CAB) whose details should be in your phonebook & online.  They will talk you through your options such as where to seek housing, how to claim benefits/child support that you are entitled to, how to manage childcare costs/finding a job.  You are not a bad person, nor a bad mum to want to raise your baby with or without the dad.  There are many single mums successfully raising happy, healthy children.  Best wishes, you are never truly alone.

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  • Crissi
    Crissi

    22/11/2012 at 18:51

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    No matter how far u are that baby is still a life. And when I found out I was pregnant with my first me and my fiance lived with his parents. I could never have not givin my son a chance at life. And my fiance would have never let me have an abortion. We had no job no money nothing. I was so worried all the time and scared. But some how we made it through. I will tell u a mom will do whatever she has to to take care.of her children. And there are so many services that will help u out. I don'twant to sound l mean or anything but men have it so much easier when it comes to baby they can say that kind of stuff but that baby is not living off them and living inside them. To me that would not be a hard choice bc Icould not kill someone and an abortion is killing a baby. If he loves u that much girl he would not make u go through something like this or make u make a choice like that. If he helped u make a baby he should help u take care of the baby and be there for both of u guys.
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  • Eviemae2
    Eviemae2

    02/12/2012 at 19:55

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    my boyfriend never wanted our baby when i found out i was pregnant but as soon as that precious baby is born if that doesnt change his mind then he isnt worth it hun, truthfully. and you shouldnt be made to feel so sad about something so wonderful and if its what you want then make it work. you can be all that baby needs and more! hope you make the right choice. x

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