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18/07/2013 at 21:41
He has been in a foul mood since coming back from his Dad's house. Ex is back to not feeding them properly, he admitted he gave B peas and rice for tea tonight and then complained that B was hungry afterwards (Ex is currently talking to me, not sure why) and I explained that B def needed protein in his meals and Ex complained about how hard it is finding somethign for the kids to eat. I suggested risotto (step up from peas and rice) with meat in it, both kids love it. Ex said it took too long to make. Ex said that U would only ever eat breakfast cereal for him (I wondered where the desire for breakfast for tea had come from recently). Ex also complained that B had been in a foul mood and how horrible he had been and how wonderful U had been. Ex then walked off home and B shot U a look of pure hate. As we walked to the car he picked her up and threw her on the floor. She smacked her head on the floor and sobbed and sobbed.
I said to B, 'how dare you' and then made a fuss of U, calmed her down and we walked to the car. B was in a foul mood all the way home. Eventually it turned out B had been trying to talk to his father and he had been ignored and had got more and more wound up trying to get his attention. So I let him stay up a bit to chat to me. His punishment for hurting his sister was to lose his beloved lego for a period of time.
Anyway since then he has gone to bed and got up again, up and down, up and down.
I have been doing housework and he has been following me around. We have the rule you don't go in the garden without mummy. He decided to go out into the garden without me. So I shut the door and locked it because as far as he was aware I didn't know that he was out in the garden. I let him knock on the door for about thirty seconds shouting mummy. I opened the door and made him explain the rule about outside. He appears to have now gone to bed for good.
Gee whiz, where do you start on that?
19/07/2013 at 06:46
Gosh I don't have any advice but your ex Sounds like a complete idiot. It's a good Job the children have you. I know it's not ideal and you shouldn't have to do it but could you prepare the children's food for them to take with them when they go to their dads? At least you will know they are eating what they should be if your ex can't be ar&ed
19/07/2013 at 07:05
Tbh it sounds to me like B is struggling to deal with his emotions in relation to his dad which is why he's acting up. Yes. He should never have hurt U, but when his beloved dad isn't giving him attention in the short time they see each other then telling you U was an angel and Bs behaviour was awful then you can almost understand how his emotions boiled over and he lashed out. It sounds like he then wanted the attention from you that he hadn't got from his dad.
It's also not that long since your ex wasn't that interested in U so B possibly struggling with that shift too.
If he isnt going to feed them properly then I'd suggest that you stop them going to his at tea time?
19/07/2013 at 07:26
WE - that's what I thought about B, hence letting him stay up and chat things through with me but still thought I can't let him have no consequences of hurting his sister. This morning she told me the story of what happened even though I had been there and witnessed it! I feel sorry for him but his reaction was extreme to his sister. But I don't think he feels he can't explain how he feels to his father without just causing more trouble - gee I know that feeling.
yoyo - we have just rengotiated contact so that I can go to work meetings without complications and I wonder whetehr this is my punishment for that
19/07/2013 at 07:29
Sorry yes I should have said I agree he shouldn't have done what he did and you had to discipline with taking away Lego x
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