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06/01/2013 at 17:43
My SIL always does things and comes out with comments that are insensitive to others and she doesn't bat an eyelid, I don't know whether she realises how insensitive she can be or just doesn't care? It is unfortunately "just the way she is". I've been with my H for 18 years and married for 8. Since our first child she has always been "funny" with me. She has come to our house quite a lot and most of the time when I answer the door and say hello she just walks right past me as if I'm not there. When we had an open house for our sons first bday she didn't speak to me once all the time she was there, she has blanked my mom and dad too. My mom was very good to her when she went through a divorce a few years back.
My mom was diagonised with Breast cancer for the second time in August and she had to have a breast removed in September, my SIL never acknowledged anything to me and sat in the same room as me when I was talking to my MIL about it and SIL sat there pretending to read and didn't look up or anything. My mom had to miss her daughters wedding in Mauritius because of the illness (I also missed my sisters wedding because I didn't want to leave my mom). At my sons 3rd bday I had an open house where my parents and brother and sister came and the in laws. At the party there was talk of my sisters wedding in Mauritius and my SIL said to my mom "well you won't have any white bits". My mom was shocked by the comment and how insensitive she was. Not only has my mom had to miss her own daughters wedding but has had cancer and surgery to remove her breast.
My mom no longer wants to be in be same room as her again and I don't blame her. I don't want to myself for things she has done in the past and for upsetting my mom when my mom has always been good to her. Nothing was said to my SIL and her mom and dad just let her get away with things, even when she speaks to them not nicely. SIL is 41 years of age. But doesn't act it. When I spoke to my H about it he just said "it's the way she is" which annoyed me as why should she be aloud to be so rude?
i feel like I no longer want to have an open house she. It's the boys beats as everytime I have done SIL has spoilt it.
i feel better for getting this down as its been going on for 3 years now, unfortunately I doubt very much it would any difference if anything was said to her and I honk it would just cause fritchion (sp) with the inlaws.
How would you feel if you were in my position? What would you do in the future. At the moment when I see her at PIL I just say hello to her and don't make conversation but just speak when spoke to by her.
06/01/2013 at 17:55
My friend has taught me to nothing people that upset me and it reduces the anxiety I feel. I would from now on nothing her. She no longer exists to you. It is difficult to do to begin with as normal human beings don't do that but it does amssively reduce your stress levels. Although if she turns up at your hosue I woulod say soemthign along the lines of you weren't invited, if you can
06/01/2013 at 18:02
Thank you for replying, it is SO hard as it is H's sister and H just let's her say what she wants and lets her get away with it. Thinking about it now I should have confronted her at the time but its been 2 months now and they would probably wonder why I am bring it up now and I really do think that the in laws with think That there was nothing in it. I've told H that the thought if her makes my blood boil and he knows how I feel. It's horrible as everytime I think of her it makes me mad and I can feel my stress levels rise.
Thank you for the advise, I will think of her as a nothing.
It makes me angry with H too as he thinks that I over think things and I know I don't let go or forgive if someone upsets me, where as he can easily forget things.
Blumin in laws... Who would have them!
06/01/2013 at 19:26
That sounds awful. I ave some issues with my sil. She's not nasty but incredibly selfish along with her h which has upset my mil and winds me and h up. I've spent many an hour feeling angry wound up and stressed by it. Once h tried to intervene and point out what she was doing was wrong but he was made out to be the bad person. At one point we ave been to counselling and have talked through hs family issues but we were advised to just leave it and let it go as she wouldn't change and it would be of no help to pil as they would probably resent h. So now I try to have very little to do with her and her h. Thankfully I don't see too much of them now. I tend not to ate conversation with them and just be civil to keep the peace.
07/01/2013 at 11:00
Thanks pelican beach, it is horrible to have to deal with nasty comments
07/01/2013 at 12:05
Goodness, that sounds awful, how can people be so inconsiderate. Do you think that she just doesn't know what to say or is just shy?
07/01/2013 at 12:51
She is definitely not shy, she did a moonie at my wedding! She doesn't think before she speaks and always has an answer for everything and has to have the last say, that's why I don't think it is worth bringing it up with her as she won't change
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