My precious four year old has drawn with the biggest smile on her face.... 6 pictures of me being stabbed with a blade and all the different ways of bleeding... with great delight she says "look this is how all your blood is pouring out, and then you are all dead and all gone, that makes me happy"... in the last picture she has now set me on fire.

Is this a phase? She has started saying really bizarre hurtful things, she told my 5 year old she wanted to murder her in her sleep. My 5 year old was justifiably very upset. Now my four year old has always been a little different, we've been told by her teacher she should be tested for autism, but since starting school in January she's changed and says some real shock value statements. We have obviously sat her down and told her that her words and actions affect other people and we must be mindful not to hurt others, but sometimes well maybe I'm just letting it get to me. We don't have a tv, she doesn't sit in front of violent games or anything, but this is probably the 100th picture she's drawn of my dying in some way. I think in general we have a good relationship, we spend every thursday just the two of us for our mum and dd2 date night - we go out for a swim and the hot chocolate and cake to make sure she has that little extra one on one time. I love her to pieces, and she isn't smacked or yelled at, she is cuddled and kissed, and told every day she is my world. Am I doing something wrong?

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no hun you arent doing anything wrong, i think i may know whats going on, while i taught pre school a little boy lost his nanna all the children became preoccupied with death and what your little un is doing sounds to me like a coping mechanism. maybe she has heard something or maybe there is a child at school making these kind of comments n lil one is just working through it in her own way.

i'd suggest a chat while colouring, explain that death is natural and the things she is drawing arent natural they arent what generally happens, reinforce that you aren't going anywhere!

if all else fails sit back n give it a few weeks or so, speak to teacher etc xxxxxxxx

thanks lolly, that makes a lot of sense she's had both her nan and grandad pass away this year and her pet rabbit. I have been worried about taking things she says too seriously, I appreciate when they are four they use new words sometimes to try to make a statement, without understanding. She told me this week a girl in her class said she 'murdered' her cat. I doubt that anything happened to the cat but still it's probably the new word of the week for her class.

I'll try a bit of a chat with her tomorrow when I take her out shopping, thought maybe a morning just the two of us might be a good place for a chat. We can stop and do some coloring in the park.

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no problems hun, i think she probably is just trying to figure the whole life/death thing out xxxxxxxxxx

didnt want to r&r hunnie, I dont really have anything to add as lolly suggested what I would have said lol.

I really hope things settle down and your little chat/trip out helped her understand.

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