General Chat, Products & Comps <
16/07/2013 at 12:01
Those who followed my biting thread in nursery-
I 'bumped' into the biting boys mother this morning at nursery. She walked in while I was nattering to a friend in reception, spoke to a receptionist and then quickly rushed to leave when she heard me saying goodbye. Apparently she has taken the boy out of summer camp as she thinks it is unfair for him to be treated differently to the other children for his 'bad behaviour'. She actually snorted when she said bad behaviour... She asked if Es mark was really bad and I decided to just be blunt and said "yes, it really upset me and I went straight back into nursery to ask that it was dealt with ASAP so that my daughter was not used as a teething ring in future. Perhaps that is why the nursery are keen to deal with your sons 'bad behaviour'!" (oops) She looked a bit taken back by it and then changed her defensive tone to say she was mortified by what he had done and apologised again. I felt a little guilty but had other things on my mind this morning.
I shouldn't have done it should I?
16/07/2013 at 12:04
I think your being perfectly reasonable too be honest, and to snort at it is bang out of order, if it was her son being used as a teething ring she would be the first one too complain! Well done you!
16/07/2013 at 12:07
As mum of a biter I think I'd have been in floods of tears, but can understand why we're really upset
In my defence though I never let him be unsupervised around children as he gets giddy and bites although usually when teething. It's really difficult to keep track of him though and I already dread the day he might be excluded from things at playgroups, although I sincerely hope its stopped by then
Good for you I say. Is this the Mum who sets no boundaries for her child?
16/07/2013 at 12:08
I think you did exactly the right thing! I was furious when my child was being bitten - slightly different as he was under 1 and couldn't walk and this older toddler who was mobile, kept biting him. The nursery didn't seem to get a grip of the situation and then along with some other problems, I withdrew him. I told the nursery that they were losing a well behaved child with parents who always paid in advance because of this other child who kept hurting my baby. I wouldn't allow him to be chomped on like that at a playgroup with me, so why should they allow it, they were meant to be giving him care and being paid to do so. I told them that maybe if they couldn't control the other child, maybe childcare with other children was not an appropriate care setting for him and he should be expelled! I was very upset and angry at the time.
The main point for me was that I wouldn't let it happen if I had been with him and I felt that they should offer the same level of care. He was only a baby.
As I said before, what does this other woman think life is going to be like for her child if she doesn't help him get past his problem? Does she want him to be the only child in the class left out of party invites for years to come? I just don't get it.
Well done you for saying something.
16/07/2013 at 12:09
Cupcake- I hope so, I still feel like I shouldn't have made the teething ring remark haha!
CP- this mother does not agree with disciplining her child! Her 3 year old is teething, tired, excited, etc There are just always excuses for him. I 'know' you'd do everything to prevent I biting and would be mortified not confrontational with a mum if he managed to do it and leave a heck of a mark on a child.
Sshh- that's the one!
16/07/2013 at 12:12
Pingu- gosh, that wasn't dealt with well by the nursery! I'd have been angry too. Funny you mention the party issue, it is Es party on Friday and for the last two weeks this mother has been asking me all about it (I felt it was in the hope her son would get an invitation too!!)
16/07/2013 at 12:13
In isaacs defence (as if it makes it any better ) he 'only' bites adults
Well if she isn't disciplining then I honestly think you and nursery are fighting a loosing battle, I was horrified when my teething toddler bit the cm, if it had been a child I would have cried and tried every approach I could to stop it but if this boy isn't even been disciplined what hope has he got!
16/07/2013 at 12:19
I understand an 18 month old biting (glad it's only adults haha!) but I don't understand a 3 year old doing it because he is teething. Excuses for poor behaviour p1ss me off. This mother actually told nursery that she doesn't believe in discipline when her son first joined. Ella is actually terrified of him as he's hurt her so many times.
Good for you!! I think as parents we so often think our children are angels and maybe she needed your honesty to hit home
16/07/2013 at 12:42
I make you 100% right ws, she deserved to know how it upset you x
The mum sounds a tool. You did the right thing, especially as she snorted, that's very dismissive in my book.
16/07/2013 at 12:45
WhiteSparkles, I actually liked that comment about being a teething ring.. I think it actually makes the point perfectly!
16/07/2013 at 12:48
I feel less guilty now!
16/07/2013 at 12:59
I dot think you were wrong at all to say that. I have done te same. She is creating a world of problems for her and the boy in years to cone with no discipli
16/07/2013 at 13:00
You weren't a b!tch at all WS, you did what anyone would do I think.
Well done you.
16/07/2013 at 13:06
I think you were right to say it. I would have been very apologetic if my child had bitten someone else - not tried to pretend that it wasn't that bad really. She needs to know that its not acceptable behaviour. Otherwise everyone will exclude her child from social things because they won't be bothered with the hassle of dealing with a child who bites.
16/07/2013 at 14:06
i dont think you were in the wrong at all.
16/07/2013 at 14:12
Good for you ! Sounds like she needed it spelling it out
16/07/2013 at 14:58
Continues below ad
Nice to see you! Please do nose around, sign up and join in.