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26/03/2013 at 20:54
its all kicking off with her and ex. background: together aince 2001 not married two kids currently 3months into a 12month rental agreement in both namss. He left couple weeksago promising to pay rent and pay money for kids. hes since been going into house taking stuff and goinf through stuff. goday hes told her he wants her out by friday left anote saying *** off to your mums on a vibrator in the porch. FFS hes also taken her phone charger.
where does sje stand? where can she go for help? she needs to be out house as its creeping hef out and rightly so.
26/03/2013 at 21:02
Howold are the children?
I really want to be helpful because some of it is rather familiar. But not sure how. The domestic abuse unit were exceptionally helpful to me. And you. Those are/were my main resources. It might be worth doing a shout for Ferbs on BT or for help on Hitched OT. Sorry for not being more helpful.
26/03/2013 at 21:10
Kids are 6 & 2. What will DV unit do he's not done anything to her or kids? He's just fuckin with her head
26/03/2013 at 21:16
DA covers physical emotional financial and something else abuse. By fecking with her head he is covering emotional and with-holding money is financial.
BTW I meant you were exceptionally helpful - reading that back makes it sound like I thought DA unit were helpful to you.
They ahev been brilliant with making sure things are kept within the law and what I was and wasn't allowed to do and they can get you in touch with other organisations which can help her.
26/03/2013 at 21:20
Ill let her know she is reporting his behaviour tomorrow as she feels threatened in her home. Also going cab.
26/03/2013 at 21:25
I found CAB to be pretty pants and all they did was print sheets off and give them to me. But I might have been unlucky. Glad she is reporting his behaviour - I never had the confidence to do it which soudns ridicolous but the DA unit gave my details to the police so that if I did ring they would know it was a 'real' DA issue rather than someone crying wolf - which disgusted me that has to eb done but there you go
I really hope everyone can help her
26/03/2013 at 21:34
Belle, have a look on Shelter's website they have information and advice on joint tenancies and couples splitting up. Including what happens in cases of domestic abuse/threatening behaviour (and his behaviour is threatening).
27/03/2013 at 06:30
I would recommend that she go to her local council housing team. They have advisors who can help on this sort of issue. If not they can definitely signpost her in the right direction.
27/03/2013 at 08:18
He left msg on house phone last night saying he wants her out by weekend He wants his house back. He's not mentioned the kids at all. Thinks he's being clever!
27/03/2013 at 08:49
But hang on, it's a rented house? How can he decide who stays/goes? What a twunt he sounds.
She should report this to the Police DV unit. They won't take any action if it's not necessary but they can advise her of her rights and also advise him to back off. What he's doing is emotionally abusive. Also http://www.womensaid.org.uk/ get her to call them for advice. The Survivors Handbook (PDF) is very helpful.
When were the kids born? Does he have PR?
27/03/2013 at 09:04
Its a rented house that he agreed fo pay rent on and she stay there as she can't afford to pay it herself. She doesn't actually want to be there anyway now as he has a key and is creeping her out by his actions.
He has PR - kids aren't being fought over......yet.
27/03/2013 at 09:22
Mental cruelty is still considered DV. Is there a history of such abuse? If so she may have grounds to get a non-molestation order which is an injunction preventing her partner from being violent or harrassing her and an occupation order which is an order that forces him to leave. The Court priorities the needs of the children and within the court process she can seeks financial assistance from H to contribute to the rent of she can't afford it. Otherwise the council could help her with the housing costs which would be easier to claim with an order of the court.
Where is your sister based as can maybe recommend a solicitor that she can see? She may also be eligable for legal aid if her earnings are low.
I would suggest seeing a solicitor rather than going to the CAB. Our local DV unit is also helpful and she may benefit from similar in her area.
Feel free to Pm me if you want further info etc x
27/03/2013 at 09:23
Sorry about all the typos - was responding in a bit of a rush!
27/03/2013 at 10:00
Thanks ferbs but she wants out the house as he has access to it. And they weren't married so does that affect any rights on what she is entitled to. She is in London borough bexley
27/03/2013 at 10:28
I would still advise that she got an injunction then but without the occupation order as she will need the documentation to prove that her and the children have been made homeless by her partner - it will speed up any housing problems with the council and catagorise her as emergency. The occupation order would stop him from having access to the property but I understand that most people want to move on and start afresh in these situations.
As they were not married all she is entitled to is child maintenance I am afraid. Unless they have any joint assets that need to be shared? She will need to also get her name removed from the tenancy agreement as if her partner defaults in paying the rent then the landlord could come to her as she has a joint interest in the property. If her partner will not agree to this voluntarily then within an injunction application to the court she could make a sub application for the court to remove her name.
The injunction will also assist her if there is any problems in the future with regards to contact issues - it is good evidence that he has been agressive etc should she seek to rely on this.
Obviously this is a very very brief summary as I dont have all of the facts but hope it helps a bit.
I have had cases against TGBaynes in Bexley Heath in the past and they are a well known firm with a legal aid franchise who would most probably be able to help your sister
Let me know how she gets on and if you need any more help. I am often on BT at the moment but do try and pop to OT when I have time x
27/03/2013 at 10:31
I used to work for womens aid and this is def a case they could offer advice and support for....also I'm sure just 2 incidents of unwanted or threatening behaviour is considered harrassement so she should contact the non emergency police to report everytime she feels intimidated so it's all on record.
Also as someone else said shelter offere brilliant advice re housing rights etc
Good luck and I hope she is ok x
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