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20/06/2013 at 12:46
Are you okay? Just seen your post on the lass half full thread.
Happy to answer any questions if I can.
20/06/2013 at 12:51
Ah thanks pip. I'm ok in general, I just get anxious about silly things and wish I wasn't such a worrier. I've always had this gut feeling about something happening to Nicky that takes over my thoughts sometimes. I've had it ever since I was pregnant with him and I was hoping I'd feel the same about Annie so it would prove it's just a natural parent thing but I don't worry about her in the same way so now I'm even more worried! I'm aware I sound like a nutcase.
20/06/2013 at 12:54
You don't sound like a nut case. I think the first time parent thing exaggerates that feeling. By the second one you're a bit more confident in yourself. I suffer from anxiety and have been prescribed citalopram for it in the past. I'm not on it currently. For me going to get help for it was when I constantly felt so anxious about being anxious that it made me incredibly tired. With the depression it was when I just start feeling numb to everything, like I can't even cry anymore. I'm a bit there at the moment. It's weird because its almost like acceptance of it to the point that I can't be bothered to even sort it out.
20/06/2013 at 13:03
I've had citalopram before when I felt a bit depressed a few years ago but it made me sick so I stopped taking it and ten my circumstances changed so I felt better anyway. Do the tablets ever work for you? I don't feel I'm so bad that I would need medication, I think I just need someone to assure me that what I'm feeling is nonsense! I think because I was a single mum with N that maybe I felt the entire responsibility was on me and also if anything happened to him I would be on my own with my feelings. I can sometimes talk myself out of it until the next time that feeling hits me.
20/06/2013 at 13:07
I don't know if they did anything, I think more than the actual pills it was thinking that something else was there to hold me up if that makes sense. It's what is generally missing in my every day life.
What you've said about responsibility totally makes sense. I think it's pretty 'normal' to have those exaggerated worries about your children anyway, it's innate almost.
20/06/2013 at 13:11
I hope it is normal yes, maybe as A gets older and more mobile I'll be worrying about her too! Yes I know what you mean about the pills, almost like a backup. Sorry you're feeling this way though, horrible isn't it.
20/06/2013 at 13:14
Jumping on here quick to say that I am treated with citalopram, I have been on them for 3 years now and in a bid to cope without them I have started CBT therapy, only one week in but I can already see how I am facing things and trying to change my approach to my thoughts. It is not always about changing the thoughts, its about how you react to them - does that make sense? I tend to worry myself crazy and over analyse things which is what needs to change.
A certain level of anxiety is totally normal, we all worry about our children, home, jobs, relationship but when you suffer for depression/anxiety its about how you then deal with the thoughts that follow - does that make sense?
Pip - totally get what you mean, I ddidn't cry at funerals or anything really as it was all so buried, I felt like I didn't feel at all
I suppose real breaking point is when M started to pick up on my anxiety and get some of her own - that was too much for me and I decided to tackle it and I am in every sense of the word!
20/06/2013 at 13:28
See CBD makes more sense to me as it's fixing the problem rather than covering it up iykwim. But whatever works for each person I guess. I might try and talk things through with H but he doesn't worry about anything so probably won't understand!
20/06/2013 at 13:45
Hi ladies, I just read your posts. Lb, it almost worries me to admit this but I've always felt the same way with P my eldest. I've always been worried about something happening to him, something horrid. I wanted to admit it to you as I think you may be onto the cause. I think mine stems from the awful PND I had after having him, I was a wreck of a shell for three years. Everything scared the s£!t out of me and I couldn't leave H or P for any length if time without feeling like something would happen to them. If h took P out for an hour I'd be hysterical thinking something would happen to them because I wasn't there. I still feel more, maybe protective and fearfull for p than I do S who is only 21minths old. I think it all stems from those early days. I'd guess your right and that's exactly why you worry for N, your level of anxiety over him is bigger because you were souly responsible for him? I've not worded any if that well I apologise, I just wanted to maybe offer son reassurance.
20/06/2013 at 14:12
That's actually really good to hear qs although obviously I'm not happy you feel that way too iykwim. It makes sense that those feelings and thoughts stick around even when circumstances change. I also get a bit panicked at times when H goes out with N (which is every day to school) as I worry he won't hold hands with him when crossing the roads or something. Everything N does I can picture some horrible accident :-( I have to push those thoughts away else I would be a wreck.
20/06/2013 at 16:55
I know exactly what you mean. I can hand on heart say I don't any longer have any kind of depression but still even though P is my eldest I worry about him to an amount I know us probably excessive. Like you with a horrible sense of dread. What kind of character is N? It doesn't help that P is sensitive and a little worrier but I have to say he is so confident now and seems to be losing that somewhat which does help me.
20/06/2013 at 19:57
N is a bit crazy, he is generally very excited about life but he has potential to be a worrier and he easily picks up on whatever vibe I've got so I have to be careful. He's also very accident prone, falling off things, bumping into things, not looking where he's going etc.
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