General Chat, Products & Comps <
17/10/2013 at 16:50
We have today been given a bundle of stuff that is from the H's ex, that has been given to the court. A lot of it is irrelevent, and nearly all of it is from 2008 (when I wasn't even with my H) we have reports supporting us from this year, by SS, CAFCASS and the like, surely they are going to go by the recent reports and not her "he said she said" stuff in 2008?
The other thing is that she has got 2 of her friends to write letters to the courts, we have never met them, don't know them and what is written is just exactly what the ex is saying.
Feeling so stressed out about tomorrow, and if I'm honest, we're scared and starting to doubt ourselves.
17/10/2013 at 16:53
I've no experience or advice to offer but I just want to wish you all the best for tomorrow, it must be really stressful for you. I hope the court make the right decision, and I'm sure they will take more notice of evidence from this year rather than 5 years ago.
17/10/2013 at 16:56
Pocahontas you need to stay calm I know it's hard but your H needs you to be strong. How is he feeling?
Who was ordered at the directions hearing to prepare bundles and when was the deadline for this? (It's usually the applicant and a week or so before the hearings so the non applicant has a chance to respond)
In my experience the final hearing is where everything is thrashed out once and for all. The judge will see through all the he said she said stuff and listen to the reports and advice of the professionals they have employed to look into this case becuase the judge has no time or inclination to get into the nitty gritty.
What did your CAFCASS report say?
17/10/2013 at 17:14
It is really hard, he's the same as me tbh, we have the perfect family life, SD is the happiest she's ever been and we just want to keep her here, she loves her little sister, she she loves her and most of she wants to stay here, where she's fed, looked after, given attention and loved.
WRT the bundles, It was "evidence" that his ex wanted to submit, so as she is representing herself, she had to send it to our solicitor, who then sent us a copy of it (today) we are the applicant's.
CAFCASS said that SD is happy living here, they didn't want to do a section 7 as we'd had SS reveiw us recently (His Ex made stupid alligations) so it's the social worker who is giving the reccomendations, ect. Her reccomendations are that SD lives with us and see's her mum once per month subject to SD's wishes and feelings.
17/10/2013 at 17:24
Don't sweat it lovely, sounds like the Social Worker and CO are on your side. As long as your H is seen to encourage contact with mum I can't see the judge doing anything other than recommending custody. She may try for shared res - does she have a mackenzie friend?
17/10/2013 at 17:31
a Mackenzie friend?
He does encourage it, infact we got "told off" by the social worker for making SD see her mum too often!!
Thanks, really appreciate your help, and thanks Margot
17/10/2013 at 17:33
A Mackenxzie friend is a lay person with no legal experience or training who can approach the judge / bench / legal teams on behalf of the mum or dad. They act as a mediator - they are volunteers who has been through the family courts themselves. My H won his case with the support of an amazing MF.
17/10/2013 at 18:00
No she doesn't have one of those. Sounds like a brilliant idea though. Hoping tomorrow goes ok. Scared of loosing her.
17/10/2013 at 18:14
I've got everything crossed for you P x
17/10/2013 at 18:23
Am on my phone so can only be brief. In my experience, if cafcass and the SW are on your side you should be fine. It is very rare for a judge to go against the cafcass recommendations and in your case it sounds like the status quo has been established as your SD already lives with you. Your H's ex would therefore need a very compelling case to change residence. As for the extra paperwork, it is unlikely that the judge will give a lot of weight to the last minute documentation, particularly if it dates back. As for the letters to the court from friends, the judge is likely to view them as subjective and disregard them unless the writers are willing to come to court and give evidence/be cross examined on what they have written.
With the cafcass recommendations I am sure you will be fine. Best of luck, let us know how you get on.
17/10/2013 at 18:27
I have no experience but wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow x
17/10/2013 at 18:51
Thanks all. Thats great to hear Ferbs. Going to spend the evening watching a film together x
17/10/2013 at 18:53
Another one thinking of you
17/10/2013 at 18:55
Thank you QI
17/10/2013 at 19:53
Ferbs is spot on!
17/10/2013 at 19:59
Good luck for tomorrow, I hope it goes well x
17/10/2013 at 20:17
Lots and lots of luck for tomorrow x
17/10/2013 at 20:58
Good luck for tomorrow x
17/10/2013 at 21:13
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