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23/12/2012 at 20:00
He is fab in a crises - crap in every day scenarios.
I booked a caravan for four days in October and invited him to come with us. He then invited my brother and his family to come as well without discussing it with me first. My brother than had to cancel as his daughter was ill and I said I was pleased and Dad said he thought I would eb really gutted because I was so excited when he suggested it. I told him at that point he hadn't discussed it with me he had told me and he was insistent I had discussed it with him. There have been numerous incidents like this, some which have nearly got me into a lot of trouble because he ahs got confused but I tell the above as an example. Before we went away in the caravan I asked if he and his wife would like to spend Christmas Day with us. He said no. I posted a couple of weeks ago about how he has recently asked his wife if she'd like to come and she'd said no but would the kdis and I like to come to him? I said no on the grounds that we were sorted now and that I didn't want to have to drive the kids so far on Christmas Day. He said well you can stay overnight. That may well be but I have to be back before Boxing Day to drop the kids off at the Ex so actually I DO still ahve to drive a logn distance on Christmas Day. He didn't understand even when I got to the stage of drawing diagrams. But told him no repeatedly. Looking at the pile of pressies today there's no way I'd fit them plus our stuff in the car anyway. But he jsut wouldn't accept I wanted the kids to be in THEIR house on Christmas Day.
Got a text from my brother saying he has just spoken to 'Dad who has told him you may be staying at his over Christmas. Before Ex left I wasn't far from cutting him out of my life because he doesn't lsiten to me. I got really upset the last weekend he was here for not lsitening to me about loads of silly little things. He is a bless bloke but it is so frustrating especially now as he seems to be making up conversations that we haven't had and ignoring the ones we have had.
Lord give me the strength...
23/12/2012 at 20:35
Gosh that must be so fustrating for you. I agree with you about preferring to stay at home with the children it's not fair for you and them to travel so far. It's a shame your dad can't understand that and come to you after all you have been through. Hugs.
23/12/2012 at 20:49
Oh he has visited numerous times which is lovely but his wife has a problem with his children from his previous life. They've been together thirty years and she still isn't comfortable accepting us. Although mroe so now she has a great grand daughter.
23/12/2012 at 21:01
How frustrating, Has he always been the same?x
23/12/2012 at 21:12
Yes and no. I didn't see a lot of him until recently. He def did things like this but I'm not sure if it is happening more because it is or just because we see him more IYSWIM?
23/12/2012 at 21:18
Is there a mental issue here? Or maybe mild abuse from his wife?
It's like he's transferring his wife's reluctance to accept you to fantasise your relationship somehow. That sounds like total crap pop psychology, I can't get my thoughts down. It's just I really get it. Mums similar - today she told someone she could see them the Sunday before Christmas as she insists I am driving there that day as she doesn't want me driving New Year's Eve - despite me repeatedly saying Ex has the children that day (banghead) 'but I don't want you driving nye' why not? I can't anyway! Etc.... Sigh!
23/12/2012 at 21:27
I've really no idea. There are numerous issues going on. His wife and him have a really bizarre relationship (from the outside - but heck who am I to comment?) He keeps trying to control me and my life when he is here, even to the point of talking over me when I am trying to order something. I've made it clear I don't like that but he doesn't quite get it.
I did wonder about dementia a few years ago because he just couldn't get Us name and kept calling her Isobel, to the point that B thought he was just being funny, he wasn't. He has argued with me several times over when B's birthday is. I don't know whether he has always been liek this, if he is getting old or whether it is because we haev a stunted relationship due to me meeting him as an adult but last seeing me as a child and missing out on the growing up years. He does often refer to things he did with me as a child which are painfully obvious that he is referring to things he did with my older sister.
23/12/2012 at 21:43
Does sound like there may be a mental issue here. Whether there is or isn't it sounds like a difficult situation
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