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15/07/2013 at 09:49
... On Friday I bumped into my brother in the supermarket. It was awkward as he didn't know if we had the hump with him too I said don't be bloody stupid he's welcome anytime and to stop listening to mum & dad. Then spookily my phone beeps and it's a message from mum. This is the conversation:
Mum:Hello hope your well can you please email your sis and tell her she still not picked up her towels and Ls card she not answering my texts thanksMe:Spooky! Just bumped into bro in Morrisons! You should drop L's card off mum, make bit of effort with your grandkids none of them have seen you in a long time x
Mum: Would if I knew where she lived and two can't drive twisted ankle and three never know where your home
Me:Ask then. Make a plan. Text or call & say can i come see Lou next week after training it's not hard mum. I want him to have his grandparents in his life but you just don't seem bothered x
Mum:It works both ways you know where I live so does your sister
Me:My 3.5yo son shouldn't have to travel to see his nanny she should be in his life as a constant especially as you drive past our house 3 times a week. Let's leave it at that
She still doesn't get it does she. And as for not knowing where my sister lives she's been up her flat & had a cuppa when she first moved in. Bull.
15/07/2013 at 09:53
good on you for saying something. people like you mum (i,e my mil...i dont mean a personal attack on your mum) will never get it and will always act the victim.
15/07/2013 at 09:54
Good for you. Did she reply to your last message?
15/07/2013 at 09:58
No further response Sshh.
15/07/2013 at 10:00
Nope she doesnt get it. Can you pop over to her house one day, to make the first move, then the rest is up to her?
15/07/2013 at 10:03
I'm not sure I want to right now 1stBaby.
15/07/2013 at 10:09
It probably helped to get it off your chest a bit, and might be worth making the first move (maybe in a week or something if you're not wanting to yet) just to see if it makes any difference, then at least you'll know you've tried x
15/07/2013 at 10:12
Just like my olds.....everything is always someone elses (usually mine!!) fault!! I now only bother with mine as and when they bother with me. They aren't even sure if they are coming to O's christening!! Its about 3 minutes from their house!!!!
I use this simple rule of thumb now...if they contact me re seeing the boys great... I don't stop them. But I don't go out of my way to contact them or make plans to spend time with them. That way they think they are making a wonderful effort with their grandkids by contacting me all the time.....and I have the luxury of not having to put up with them very often...every one is a winner lol xxx
15/07/2013 at 10:33
I was wondering if they were coming to the Christening hon
15/07/2013 at 10:38
Do you feel better for saying somethign?
15/07/2013 at 10:41
Yeah although I could say more
15/07/2013 at 10:48
Then do it!! I think you shouldl write the letter. she has had the oppertunity now to change things - if that was my mum she would have made a point of popping into mine at the weekend
15/07/2013 at 11:48
Ah still a bit sad that she didn't get it belle. She could easily of said yes I will make more effort as soon as I have a better ankle il be over, or something along them lines. Gla you said something though, it has sowed the seed. She should 100% drop the card into your sisters, that's really bad that she has waited this long x
15/07/2013 at 11:53
My sister reminded me of something my dad said to her on Saturday too, so when she was moving she had to shift boxes from dad's garage to the van she'd hired - dad answered the door and said " I would offer to help but I'm being lazy" and sat back down in front of TV.
15/07/2013 at 12:18
No she doesn't get it, and I think unless you really really spell it out she won't get it either. Or maybe she'll never get it as she just doesn't want to.
Its a shame, isn't it? So many of us on here moan about having overbearing parents/in laws, but here you have parents who are the complete opposite and would just like a bit more of the right contact.
15/07/2013 at 12:33
i cant beleive your dad said that! thats terriblE!
15/07/2013 at 13:12
How frustrating you must want to shake her. Glad you said something x
15/07/2013 at 13:54
She just seems to think that it is all about her doesn't she?
That's exactly it Fi.
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