Hey guys,

This may sound a little strange, im 20 years old and pregnant with my first child, and my partner this is his second child. I have always felt a little uneasy about this. I have always though of a baby being a joint expiernce of all the firsts and if im honest i am somewhat disapionted that it wont be as magical and special as the first born child for him.

Has anyone else had or have these feelings? I find it really hard to spend time with him and his child because i just want our baby to be hear and for us to be a family. Im not trying to push his other child out, its just how i feel.

Any advice?

Hi, I have a little boy with my ex whos now 16 months.

It got complicated when i was pregnant with Jake as I found out just before he was due that my ex was having a baby with hi ex gf who was just 6 weeks further pregnant than me! Bad crack eh?

I thought that as he was there with her first and their baby was born first, it would be less special for him to be with me when my baby was born. This was not the case. Although the situation was very very complicated, he never chose one child over the other, loved them both equally and I think that it will be the same as you.

It was hard to accept his other son, but at the end of the day, my child and his were half brothers, as will yours and his child be! It does take time but you can be a family altogether, and things do get easier, cos believe me i felt exactly the same as you did!

Hope this has helped.

Vicki xx

My fiance has a 4 year old with a previous girlfriend and all through i have had the feeling that he's done all this before and its not as special to him etc. He never really touched my bump when baby was kicking or wanted to help with picking baby bits.

however i spoke to him a few months ago and it turned out that she didnt get him involved with anything including letting him feel baby kick and as for the shopping he just knew that id end up picking the stuff anyway as im more organised lol

it's a weird situation to be in as their first born will always be special to them, its easier for me as he doesnt get to see his son as the mother has a new partner and makes it really hard for my fiance to see his boy. Sad but its just the way it is.

i hope things go ok for you with the adapting and maybe chat to your partner about how you feel, it might help a bit.

Sorry for rambling

alice xx 37 weeks today