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10/01/2013 at 10:19
I'm so jealous, it would be so much easier if we didn't have anything to do with them or even better if they didn't live near us
10/01/2013 at 10:29
What she done now?
10/01/2013 at 10:34
Oh dear, hope everything is OK.
I don't have anything to do with my FIL. A few weeks ago he travelled for 2 hours to harrass me on the school run and wouldn't leave me alone and ignored the children anyway. He wanted to see my son who thankfully was at an after school club, he's not interested in the girls. Its very odd.
Oh dear. I don't see mine a lot, but they are ok when I do.
10/01/2013 at 10:37
Oh dear SW, what's she done now? Mine were loopy round the time we got married but have got lots better and we have a really good relationship now, thank goodness.
HN, what a bizarre thing to do, and how sad for your girls.
10/01/2013 at 10:40
Oh dear. We don't have anything to do with my mums parents as they are barmy but I find it really sad when family aren't on speaking terms. Hope you're ok though SW x
10/01/2013 at 10:57
She is just so not normal. Loads of things have happened before Christmas but after a huge bust up in August we haven't had that much to do with them and when we do see them its just polite conversation about the kids.
So on Sunday FIL brought the kids back and said that MIL wanted to get E from school on Friday and have her sleep over, when I asked if he meant J as well he said no, MIL only wanted E, I was really shocked and didn't commit. Anyway I told H and he said that no she wasn't picking and choosing the kids, they come together (she is always trying to split them up). So H text her to say that we'd rather she didn't keep splitting them up and that E wasn't sleeping at hers on Friday.
Then on Tuesday when I had took the kids to school I saw her taking BIL's daughter to school and she was walking with my mam, so I stopped to speak and she totally blanked me and walked off without speaking, how childish. Then yesterday I got a text to say could she have J for an hour in the afternoon which I said no to because we already had plans but how bloody weird that she won't speak to me in the street yet she'll text to have J for an hour.
I could go on and on about her and her strange ways but I'd be here all day. It really would be easier if we didn't have any contact as everything is a hassle.
10/01/2013 at 11:04
She really is bizarre, I'm pleased your H is on the same page as you though re. taking both the kids.
10/01/2013 at 11:12
Thanks Margot, I'm glad its not just us. They don't seem to get that they come as a package and not just when she picks and chooses to have one or the other. She never separates BIL's kids, they come together. I mean does anyone else have a rota from the grandparents as to when they will see their granchildren. No word of a lie, we have a printed rota stating when they will see the kids, totally bizarre, they are 2 well educated retired teachers with no common sense and can't see past the end of their noses.
10/01/2013 at 12:04
I've never met mine. They have no idea H and I are married, or that we have J.
I am so happy about this.
10/01/2013 at 12:13
I'm playing devil's advocate a bit here, but isn't it nice for a grandparent to have exclusive time with one of their grandchildren? Do they have to do everything together? Why can't they just see each child on their own so that they have a relationship with that child on their own?
I only have one child so she always gets time with both sets of grandparents on her own. My friend's parents have a tradition of taking each grandchild out on their own - not all the time, but sometimes - and having them over to stay on their own as well. That way they get to have special time all on their own with their grandparents.
10/01/2013 at 13:21
Cedar that wouldn't be a problem if they were normal but they put things into her head that they shouldn't. They tell her that it must be awful for her having a brother when she was a one and only for 5yrs, how good she is for putting up with him, that she needs time away from him etc, they have drummed this into her since he came along.
The things they come out with is unbelievable. I have no problem with them spending time alone with her, my mam will often take E on a shopping trip and she has J when I'm at work etc. Its the fact that they put onto her how hard it must be having him around etc, then she gets it in her head and becomes a little madam. There are so many issues which I'll not go into as I don't want to bore you but we don't want them single-ing her out and leaving J, she never takes J by himself.
10/01/2013 at 14:39
Oh, I see what you mean. No you don't want them telling E she's hard done by for having a little brother.
In Laws are odd aren't they? Mine are in very different ways. We don't fall out but they live an hour away and FIL won't visit us for more than a couple of hours at a time because he suffers from anxiety (but its never talked about in front of him - my MIL told me some quite important news about him while holding on to the bottom of a loft ladder while FIL was in our loft a few years ago because it was the only opportunity she got to say it ). So we don't get to see them that often unless we go to see them.
10/01/2013 at 15:06
I just wish any grandparent would show some interest in Lou.
10/01/2013 at 15:22
Cedar, things might be easier if they lived away lol.
Belle, that such a shame, does your mam not show any interest in him?
10/01/2013 at 15:30
I don't understand - do you have to have contact with them then?
I don't have any contact with mine after they were very rude and I'd had enough. If people cause you grief why have them in your life?
10/01/2013 at 15:43
QI we are in contact with them as in, they will text when they want to see the kids and we will speak to them when we drop kids at theirs and when the pick kids up or drop them off, otherwise we don't have much contact with them since MIL kicked off back in August.
We only keep them in our lives because of the kids, also it doesn't help that they live opposite my parents.
10/01/2013 at 15:51
Not really. I mean she will look after him if i ask her to and she is free but there is no forth coming on her part.
10/01/2013 at 18:21
It's a shame for them both, can we swap, you can have my mil and I'll have your non interested mam lol.
10/01/2013 at 20:42
Some of your PIL's do sound a little odd! My PIL's are ok - MIL was a little odd when I first met her and still comes out with some strange comments but I tend to let them wash over me. Both she and FIL are lovely really. I find one of my SIL's hard - mainly because we are just so different in character and I suspect I wouldn't be friends with her had we met in other circumstances.
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