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30/06/2014 at 06:55
I wasn't sure of the best place to post this so hope here is ok! My almost 2 yr old is driving me crazy at the moment as she can't seem to do anything unless attached to me. She's decided she can't sleep at night unless I'm in the room with her - and it has to be me, if her dad even attempts it she screams the house down waking the baby. In fact, it has to be more everything no one else can go near her. I had to go out for the afternoon to help my mom clear my grandad's flat and apparently she just cried and whinged all afternoon. Even as I type this she is sat on my lap clinging to my hair. The problem is I also have a baby to look after and she's started to cotton on so is also wanting to be picked up all the time too. If I give either of them any attention, the other throws a fit so they fight over me pretty much all day (although the baby isn't as bad as the toddler) I'm exhausted from not getting any sleep, I ache from constantly having to carry a child (or 2!) around with me everywhere and I'm just drained emotionally.
does anyone have any tips to survive this? Please?!
30/06/2014 at 09:49
Oh MamaD you have my sympathies xx
We have had phases exactly like this with my two, although I don't remember it being quite so bad, but maybe I've blocked out the horrible feelings. It is a phase and it does get better.
I know its hard - but for your own sanity maybe you need to get some time away from your eldest, how old is your baby? I found taking them to groups together helped, because I was nearby, but the eldest could be persuaded to take part in an activty away from m, if you see what I mean.
Sorry - I'm at work so can't type a long response, but feel free to vent here and I'll answer when I can :)
30/06/2014 at 18:11
nftfi, thank you for your reply. I've had a horrendous day which has just come to an old fashioned stand off as e wanted to sit on my lap to eat her dinner but I was trying to eat my own so her dad offered for her to sit On his lap - cue full blown lying on the floor kicking and screaming! She's also developed a lovely new act to her repertoire which involves her finding something big and hard and banging her head on it. Have to admit, I kind of feel like doing the same!!!! That's a good idea about the playgroup - I've always been a bit scared to go to one due to A's reflux as the early days meant her just screaming with it non stop. Oh and when I call her "the baby" she's actually 9 months and trying to walk so she'd probably be quite happy to go off and play too! I was planning on taking E to a preschool nursery for one morning a week from September for this very reason but I think the men in white coats will have carted me off before we get there!
30/06/2014 at 18:42
I have no advice as I'm yet to be a mummy but I'm offering some sympathy as my SIL is going through exactly the same thing with her little one and he goes to nursery quite happily a few times a week.
30/06/2014 at 19:00
Thanks Furmummy, it's nice to know I'm not alone in this!
To add insult to injury, she thinks timeouts are great and voluntarily puts herself on the timeout spot if I tell her no!
01/07/2014 at 10:51
Oh yes, we had lots of this from E when C reached about 9 months or so. I put it down to the fact that her little sister had suddenly become an identifiable threat as she was beginning to interact more and more with those around her. It is a phase and they do get over it (or at least learn to deal with it better).
I have eaten more dinners than I can *** with one or the other of my two sitting on my lap, and quite regularly still do. I oftne find at mealtimes I'm too hungry to get into an arguament and I give in and let them sit on me. These days my eldest is very good at understanding that I cannot physically cope with both of them at once and will sit on her daddy instead, but C cannot yet comprehend this, so I get her a lot. The only thing i hate is when she tries my food then spits it out back onto my plate because she didn't like it! urgh!!!
I don't think I could cope with head banging tantrums and am in total awe of anybody who deos - yourself included. Chocolate cake is what you deserve :)
Time out doesn't work for us either - taking favourite toys away for a period of time does though. I'm also having varied success with sticker charts for good behaviour.
If the baby is 9 months could you try leaving her with somebody else for a bit and spend some quality time with E? take her to the park/library or something just to show her she's still important. It might be just what she needs?
Really hope it gets better soon xx
01/07/2014 at 21:28
I've speaking to someone today who said timeout did work for them either and they had to do 1-2-3 Magic so might give that a go. I'm sure taking away her beloved Justin fletcher have more effect! I do take her to a gymnastics class once a week for that very reason and I try to make sure that when her sisters sleeping I sit and do things with her with no distractions but obviously I'm not doing enough! I tried an old trick tonight that I used to do when she was a baby and stuck one of her teddies down my top for a bit so it had my scent on it. I'm hoping that night give her a bit of comfort during the night but we shall see! x
01/07/2014 at 23:14
Didn't want to read and run and don't really have any good advice. I am sorry you are having a tough time with separation anxiety. We never tried timeouts when son was little but they do work now. Things will get easier and she will grow out of it.
03/07/2014 at 12:45
MamaD, it actually sounds to me like your doing everything you can to spend some quality time with her - and don't let anything I suggest make you think otherwise :)
Its a phase I'm sure of it, a difficult one, but you will get through it.
I used to do the teddy down my top thing - had forgotten about it actually, might just try that with my youngest tonight as she's struggling to settle at night too.
I haven't heard of 1-2-3 Magic - I might have to check it out.
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