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23/01/2013 at 13:48
Just a pondering really as recently I've come to realise I'm really not a 'big group' type of person. I have lots of friends but they are not a group if you know what I mean, they are mostly separate although I do have a group of mummy friends but we're not like really close or anything. My oldest friend is someone I've known since age 5 and we keep in regular contact, have children similar ages etc and meet up when she comes back to our hometown. I wouldn't turn to her for help though I don't think. I have a couple of friends who I'm really really close to but hardly ever see due to being too busy/far away but they're the friends that if I hadn't seen for 6 months, it doesn't matter we still get on as if we see each other every day. I could totally rely on these friends for anything. I have more friends who I see more regularly but I don't have a 'group' of girlfriends and me and H don't have a 'group' of couple friends, I think I'm just too shy for big groups, my personality isn't big enough for it and I much prefer to be with 2/3 people at a time. Does that make sense? I'm also a really good listener and my friends come to me for help/advice but I'm rubbish at talking about personal things to them or asking for help from anyone, I bottle a lot of stuff up. I never feel lonely I just like to work things out for myself in my own head. I think I'm also quite anti-social in a way cos I can't be bothered with inviting people over for dinner, mainly as I'm not a natural cook and find it a chore!!
So just wondering about your friend networks, do you have a big group of friends that you do lots of things with?
23/01/2013 at 13:53
I don't have a big network of friends. IN fact I can count the number of friends I have on one hand and still have fingers left. I moved away from home at 16 which broke contact with all my school friends bar one. She then went to uni in Lincoln, married a guy and lives up there. I enjoyed life as you do then met H. We used to have a big group of friends we'd regulary turn to, socialise with etc, but then the *** hit the fan with the mother of his kids and we soon learnt who our friends were. H culled an extreme amunt of people from his life, his family members included.
I have a bestie, Ninabeanie - you all know her, then I spose my sister when she answers the phone. Then a few other girls I've met through here. I have a lot of male friends from work but none I'd turn to, just people to chat and socialise with during work hours.
And of course my husband.
23/01/2013 at 13:58
Now I'm not working I miss the social side of that a lot. I feel like all I have to talk about are children as that's all I do!! I used to love the banter with workmates (male and female). I do see a lot of people on a day to day basis but most of them are acquaintances who I just pass the time of day with.
So if you were planning a girly night out, you wouldn't have a group of friends to invite? Cos I haven't, they would all be separate friends.
23/01/2013 at 14:00
This is something I need to work on! I moved away to London at 18, and then home (but everyone had gone off and were still at uni whereas I'd quit) then I met H and moved to south wales. I've not really got anyone down here really, I go to groups with Isaac and try but I don't seem to be getting anywhere. My best friend moved to London with me but shes still there, I see her as much as I can but its not a lot and I don't feel like I can burden her with any problems. I only keep in touch with one girl from school, but she lives in my hometown. I am friends with all my old work friends but again they live back 'home' and are getting on with their own lives. I have SIL who I'm quite close to, and a couple of H's friends and girlfriends but on the whole I'm a bit of a loner!
23/01/2013 at 14:01
Nope, the only girlfriends I have in my life are:
Ninabeanie, 1stbaby, Munchkin, Kellfi although she's too far for a night out
Then 2 girls from baby group and my sister.
23/01/2013 at 14:04
It's hard making new friends McSquirtle. I still live in my hometown so that helps me. I have to admit to dreading the school run some days as the mums here are mostly cliquey and I can't bring myself to just walk up to a group of them who are already talking together, even though I might talk to some of them individually if they're on their own. I'm also rubbish with small talk, really struggle with it!
23/01/2013 at 14:05
I think it's better to have a few good friends you can trust Belle, it saves a lot of hassle with the politics of big groups.
23/01/2013 at 14:06
I'm just like Rachel in friends. Girls tend not to like me.
My best friend (male) is in Australia so I only Skype/fb/text/phone him. I'm friends with about 8 gay men, so often go shopping, have lunch, go for drinks with them. Out of that 8 I'm very close to 2 of them, I'd tell those 2 absolutely anything, but I'd confide in the others as well but it would be those 2 first.
I have 2 groups of mummy friends, the girls from Ls post natal group, I keep in touch with 3 of them. And I've got the mums from isaacs post natal group.
I went on a weekend to Spain with the mums from Ls post natal group and I meet up for coffee with them. Really close to one of them. I go for play dates with isaacs post natal group but go for nights out with the mums too (they are right p1sscans ) there's 1 of them that I'm close to.
Don't really have that many friends in Scotland, just a handful, keep in touch via fb
23/01/2013 at 14:07
Before I had C, there was a big group of us (around 15-20), who would all meet up in the pub etc. I still see/speak to them when im out, but I don't make plans with them anymore, as most of them ditched me when I was pg.
Now, there's a handful I go out with, and a seperate group of Mummy friends, from C's school.
23/01/2013 at 14:08
Its cos you are gorgeous, skinny with massive ***! Whats to like?!
23/01/2013 at 14:11
Its cos you are gorgeous, skinny with massive ***! Whats to like?!
That just made me laugh out load!
Yeah I agree 1stbaby, women can be very jealous!!
23/01/2013 at 14:17
True though, I think you give off a certain persona and when I first met you I wantn't sure! (Just being honest - I thought you were a strng charachter!)
I like you lots Belle, in fact I talk to you more than a lot of people in my life.
I have my sister, my best friend S, my other best friend A. S I have known for a few years, A since primary school, we have only got more friendly lately though. I have V as well, but we have really grown apart oh and H, I class her as a real friend as well.
I have a couple of other different groups as well that I socialise with.
I don't tell anyone anything though really, I am quite deep like that.
My best friends are my H and my mum I suppose though
23/01/2013 at 14:18
I don't have a big circle of friends and I hope it stays that way. I would much rather have a few people in my life and know where I stand with them than have loads of fake dicks in my life. On the whole, I get on better with males - I'm not a girly girl at all and find it hard to understand some females and the way they behave.
23/01/2013 at 14:19
I have a group of 7 REALLY close friends And we meet up regularly and speak all the time. I would be lost without them! I love them all to pieces.
Then I have a few other "close" friends that I don't see as often that are from Other walks of life!
Honestly though, I don't know what I would do without my lovely lot!
23/01/2013 at 14:20
I have my best friend Monkey Mavis who I met on Hitched WP years ago. We tell each other everything and are each other's go to person. I'd walk over hot coals for her.
Then I have H's best friends wives who I've known 9 years and we're quite good friends, can go months without seeing each other and tend to see each other as couples mainly but always get on well. I don't tell them private stuff though.
I then have 'going out' girlfriends who I know from various places (work/through H' etc) and we speak on text loads, catch up with or without kids, go drinking with occasionally. They aren't people I'd share personal stuff with but are always there if I need a chat/friend etc.
Finally there's my 'Mummy Friends' who I've met through NCT, swimming, music etc. A combination of us meet up twice a week usually. I'd tell them most things and they'd be there in a second if I needed them.
Finally there are a few people I've met on here who I speak to and/or see off board IRL. Like Rusty for example. We see each other occasionally and chat a lot on messenger.
It's not a huge network but it keeps me busy and I feel lucky to have some great friends in my life.
23/01/2013 at 16:28
My 3 best friends from home are who I met through H 8 years ago. I luffs them. They are my shopping, party, gossip, foodie friends.
I have my cousin who is like my sister.
Then a couple of old friends iv known forever but only meet up for a catch up every few months.
I have a few new friends iv met up here although need to work on this as we've been home most weekends
And finally the guys in our groups girlfriends who I like, but mainly see then for group events and wouldn't trust with my darkest secrets iykwim
23/01/2013 at 16:34
I'm friends with my SILs but outside the family, I don't really have anyone. I stop and chat to people I know but don't do anything socially with them. I do find it difficult to make friends.
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